Another Week of Random Madness
by Red Witch
Summary: Rollercoaster sequel to 'My Dinner with Nightcrawler'. Tons of random adventures, wild secrets and more guest stars than you can shake a stick at make for an interesting week and a few days! R&R this wild completed fic!
1. Aftermath of the Friday Night Fiasco

**I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters…you know the drill. Well I was originally going to start uploading a more serious fic that would get the plot line of the Misfit universe going. I was also finally going to put out that Arcade fic that I've been working on since I finished The Misfit Chronicles. I was going to do a lot of things.**

Todd: The problem folks is that she gets distracted easily with new ideas! 

****

I can't help that! Well I finished with My Dinner With Nightcrawler and well I got more ideas for another fun pointless fic. I just love to write them.

Xavier: Not to mention torture me as much as possible. Where are my antacid pills? 

**I promise I will get on with the plot as soon as I get this last fic out of the way! Really!**

Rogue: Yeah right, that's what you said the last five fics ago! 

Pietro: On the bright side she's got a few more fics done. 

Rogue: That's what I'm afraid of. 

**I will get to this as soon as I can! I promise! Just one more mad fic! Okay? **

Lance: You'd better mean it this time! 

**All right. This fic takes place exactly two hours after the last fic ended. So technically it's a sequel. Actually it's…**

**Another Week of Random Madness**

**Chapter 1: Aftermath of the Friday Night Fiasco:**

"I can't believe the Misfits trashed your dinner," Bobby said to Kurt. They were in the kitchen with some of the others. 

"I can," Scott said. 

"Not just the Misfits," Kurt moped as he poked at his sundae. "My mother, my father, Zartan, SHEILD, Dr. Strange…Am I forgetting anyone?"

"Benny," Rogue told him. "I tell you tonight was one of the weirdest nights of my life. And that's saying something with our track record." 

The bell for the front door rang through the mansion. "Who could that be?" Scott asked.

"I'll go," Kurt teleported to the front and opened the door. "Amanda? What are you doing here?" 

"Kurt," Amanda sighed. "Can I stay here for a while? Things are really getting weird at my house. And I can't deal with my mom just now." 

"Well I have to ask the Professor but I'm sure he won't mind," Kurt said. "Come on in." He took her bag from her. 

Tabitha and Amara walked down. "Amanda? What's going on?"

"Oh nothing," Amanda sighed. "My mother's just been lying to me for I dunno…all my life! My parents have separated and right now my Mom and Dr. Strange and that weird friend of his are working on a bunch of spells and there are weird plants with one eye growing everywhere in the living room and…I just needed to go somewhere normal for a bit."

"So you came here?" Tabitha looked at her. "Good luck."

"Tabitha!" Kurt snapped. Turning to Amanda he asked her. "Your parents are separated?"

"Well my dad just hit the road on his new motorcycle to go 'find himself' and clear his head after tonight," Amanda explained. "And my mom pretty much said she didn't have time for me right now what with saving the world from the monster from another dimension. Shumi-Gomo…I have no idea what she called it but whatever it is I just had to get out of there!" 

"Amanda I am so sorry," Kurt said. "I feel like this is all my fault."

"Kurt it's not your fault," Amanda said. "You're not the one who's been keeping secrets from me and you didn't invite those crazy people to the dinner. So don't blame yourself okay? I'll tell you one thing, I think I'm finally understanding why you and those Misfits are always fighting each other." 

"Yeah the Misfits do have that knack for chaos don't they?" Kurt sighed. "Look why don't we talk to the Professor and ask him if you can stay here? He's up in his study with the others now so I'm sure he wouldn't mind." 

He took her hand and they teleported off to the Professor's study door. He knocked on it. Logan poked his head out. "Elf? What's up? What's Amanda doing here?"

"That's what we need to see the Professor about," Kurt said. "Can we talk to him for a second? We need to ask him something."

"Uh…I don't think now's a good time," Logan hesitated.

"Nonsense! Logan bring 'em in!" Xavier's chipper voice sounded. They walked in the room and saw Xavier with an eerie happy face. His jacket was off and his tie was gone. A few buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned and there were also a few empty bottles and glasses on his desk. "Hi kids! How ya doin'?" 

"Uh the Professor isn't quite himself," Logan explained. Then he noticed that Hank was passed out in a nearby chair. 

"Are you drunk?" Kurt gasped.

"I may be a bit tipsy," Xavier said with as much dignity as he could muster. "But I am still in full command of my facilities…families…factories….I'm fine."

"O-kay," Kurt gulped. "Uh…"

"Of course Amanda can stay," Xavier waved. "The more the merrier! Why not! And I don't blame you Amanda…the Misfits are nothing but trouble. Especially Shipwreck. Oh do I hate Shipwreck. Can't read his mind but I don't need too. The man is a roadblock on the evolutionary path."

"Okay why don't we get Amanda settled in for the night?" Logan started to shuttle the two teens out the door. "I'll get Storm to…oh no, she's still in the bathroom. Uh…"

"I mean even the man's voice is irritating," Xavier went on. "Sounds like Jack Nichelson on crack? Ever notice that?" 

"Look I'll get Jean to…" Logan began. "Oh no wait, she's helping Storm."

"Tossing her cookies!" Xavier giggled.

"Elf you can get someone to help her huh?" Logan sighed. "And you might want to bring Scott up here to help me." He closed the study door on them.

Kurt and Amanda looked at each other. "Are you sure you want to stay here?" Kurt asked. 


	2. Pillow Talk

**And now some twisted romantic madness. Might as well use that PG-13 rating while it's up there! Tee hee! **

**Pillow Talk**

Amanda had settled in one of the guest rooms of the Xavier Institute when Kurt teleported in. "All comfy?" 

"Yeah, thanks Kurt for letting me stay here."

"You should really thank the Professor, or maybe in this case Logan," Kurt sat on the bed next to her. "It's not looking good out there. It's a bit unnerving to see the Professor drunk like that."

"Well it's not as unnerving as learning your mom isn't the person you thought she was," Amanda sighed. 

"I think I can relate to that," Kurt sighed. 

"Well I guess compared to your family my problems are kind of normal, somewhat," Amanda sighed. 

"As normal as can be expected in a situation like this I guess," Kurt sighed. "Look Amanda, I'm here for you. You know that?"

"Yeah," Amanda leaned on his shoulder. "As crazy as things are right now it's good to know that I can count on you. Thanks." 

"Anytime," Kurt hugged her back. "That's what good boyfriends are for." 

There was a knock at the door. Logan opened it. "Okay Elf back to your room." 

"We weren't doing anything!" Kurt protested.

"We know," Jamie said as he peeked in. "Mr. Logan paid me twenty bucks to spy on you guys to see if you were." 

"I also mentioned something about not telling the Elf that!" Logan groaned. "Come on, Amanda's had a busy day."

"Logan we need another bucket!" They heard Jean's voice.

"And we're gonna have a busy night…" Logan sighed. 

************************************************************************

Later that night Jean searched for Scott. She found him in the garage in his car. "Scott? What are you doing here?"

"Trying to get some peace and quiet for a change," Scott told her. "It's the one place I go to where I know no one will bother me."

"Besides the Danger Room?" Jean smiled as she got in the car. 

"Ha. Ha. What a night," Scott moaned. "I can't believe the Professor and the others got sick like that! I mean, I've never seen them act so irresponsible. With Shipwreck and the Misfits I can understand why but still. It's so odd." 

"I know. I never want to go through that again," Jean sighed. "I think that experience has got me sworn off alcohol forever. Not that I ever drank that much anyway…"

"Including Rogue's birthday?" Scott grinned.

"That wasn't exactly my choice Scott!" Jean fumed.

"Sorry," He apologized. "I just couldn't resist." 

"Well at least things are quiet now," Jean sighed snuggling up next to him.

"Better enjoy it while it lasts," Scott sighed. "In this place you're lucky if you even get a moment to yourself before some fight breaks out or somebody barges in on you." 

"Well, we're alone now," Jean told him as she gave him a playful grin. 

"You're right," Scott grinned back as they kissed. 

************************************************************************

The next morning…

"Okay why are we in the garage? Why didn't we just teleport in the mansion?" Wanda asked. 

"Then we wouldn't have been able to fill Jean's SUV with shaving cream now will we?" Pietro told her. The other Misfits were with him.

"I dunno Pietro," Todd sighed. "I still think they ain't too happy about what happened last night. Maybe we shouldn't push our luck."

"Since when has that ever stopped us?" Althea asked. "Let's start with Scott's car first."

"I'm afraid that is impossible," Xi said softly. He pointed. "It appears to be occupied." 

True enough, there were Scott and Jean in the backseat of his car. Both of them were covered with a blanket but it was plain to see that they had nothing else covering them underneath. "Well, well, well…" Lance snickered. "What have we here?" 

"Oh my…." Wanda blinked. 

"Camera!" Pietro motioned to Fred who took some pictures. 

"Wha…" Jean started to wake up and looked out of the car.

"Good Morning!" Lance chirped happily. 

"Rise and shine!" The other Misfits shouted happily. 

Jean screamed and pulled the blanket over her. Scott jumped up and started to shout. The Misfits ran out of the garage laughing. Pietro doubled back and grabbed something. "PIETRO GIVE US BACK OUR CLOTHES!" Scott screamed. 

Meanwhile the rest of the X-Men were eating in the dining room. "Oh my head," Hank moaned. "I think I broke my brain." 

"Would you please stop breathing so loud?" Ororo pleaded. 

"Kids this is what's called a hang-over," Logan pointed out. "This is what happens when you drink too much. Notice how large the bags under their eyes are."

"Logan…What are you doing?" Xavier asked, clearly in pain.

"Just trying to show the kids the consequences of drinking," Logan grinned. "Have to show them why it's not good for them."

"Who the hell are you to talk?" Hank snapped. "You drank more than any of us!"

"Yeah but I have a healing factor that keeps me from getting drunk," Logan said. "Lesson number two kids. Know your limits." 

"I've learned my lesson," Jamie said innocently. "I don't want to end up a drunk like Beast."

Hank glared at him. "You are a very annoying child, you know that?" 

"No," Xavier groaned. "He's right. Unfortunately. What we did last night…was inexcusable. We're the ones who are supposed to be setting a good example and we failed. Students, I'm sorry."

"We forgive you Professor," Jamie chirped. "But you're still grounded."

"Hank is right. You **are **annoying," Xavier grumbled.

"Ignore him Squirt," Logan waved. "That's just the hangover talking. You're lucky Scott and Jean were around to help you. Those two really came through for you last night."

"You're right Logan," Xavier sighed. "Scott and Jean were very mature and responsible last night. They're good examples of…" 

"YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DEAD!" Jean could be heard screaming. 

Althea, Todd and Lance ran in laughing. "Hey! Morning all!" Todd hopped over and grabbed a roll with his tongue and swallowed it." 

"Oh god no!" Rogue rolled her eyes. "Not again!" 

"What are they doing here?" Amanda asked.

"They sometimes come to steal our breakfast," Kurt sighed. "I forgot to warn you."

"Looks like they're stealing something else for a change," Rogue remarked. 

The remaining Misfits ran in. Pietro was carrying a pile of clothes. "What have you got there?" Remy asked angrily.

"Oh just a little something I picked up!" Pietro grinned. 

"Quicksilver you give us back our…" Scott ran in wearing only his boxers. He stopped when he saw everyone in the dining room. "Uh…"

"Scott did you find…." Jean ran in. The blanket was wrapped around her body. "Them…?" 

"Oh my…" Amanda gulped. 

"You know Summers at our house we usually dress for mealtimes," Fred grinned. "Of course Grey you look quite fetching in that blanket." 

"Yeah who would have thought that the blanket Summers keeps in his car would match your eyes?" Pietro grinned. "Coincidence? I think not?" 

"Oh god…" Jean gasped and ran out of the room.

"Uh…" Scott's face was red and he backed away. He was too embarrassed and frustrated to say anything coherently. "Excuse me please…" He left the room.

"You were saying?" Remy asked the Professor.

"Some examples they are!" Bobby snickered. 

"I've seen worse on TV," Jamie said. 

"Looks like I was spying on the wrong couple…" Logan groaned. 

"Somebody get me a drink…" Xavier moaned as he put his head into his hands. 


	3. So Much For A Peaceful Saturday

**So Much For A Peaceful Saturday**

"To say I'm disappointed in you would be an understatement," Xavier sighed. Scott and Jean were in the study with Logan and Ororo. 

"Not half as disappointed as we were with you last night," Jean said. 

"That doesn't give you an excuse to…Well do what you did last night," Xavier told them. 

"They had sex Charles," Ororo told them. 

"Don't say that word!" Logan snapped. 

"I agree," Xavier sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've known the two of you so long…You've kind of become my own children. It's hard for us to think of you as…Well…" 

"Sexually active?" Jean asked.

"Don't say that!" Logan groaned. 

"Look Scott and I may not have chosen the most…appropriate spot to proclaim our love but it's our lives," Jean said. 

"Well did you at least use protection?" Ororo asked.

"Geeze Ororo!" Logan winced. "I don't wanna hear this! Oh god please tell me you were being careful! What am I saying?" 

"I've been on the pill since I was in 11th grade okay?" Jean told him.

"Eleventh grade? Who were you with in eleventh grade?" Logan snapped. "Why did I ask that? I don't want to know!" 

"That's not why I got it in the first place," Jean told him. "I was having problems with my menstrual flow and…" 

"OKAY! TOO MUCH INFORMATION HERE!" Logan shouted. 

"I agree," Ororo said. "You two are at an age where you have to make your own decisions." 

"Ororo's right. I mean you two are practically adults," Xavier sighed. "It would be pointless to ground you. But you have to remember to act more responsibly!"

"Like you did last night?" Scott asked.

"Don't you just hate it when they have a point?" Logan grinned. "Besides I have a feeling what the kids are be talking about is going to be more than enough punishment anyway."

"Don't remind me," Jean groaned. "Speaking of children why are the Misfits here already without any adults?"

"Who knows why they let them traipse over here whenever they feel like it?" Logan sighed. 

"I do," Ororo said. "The adults want to get the kids out of their hair as well as have them try to find new mutants. And to drive us insane."

"I wouldn't be surprised if **that** was part of their master plan," Xavier sighed. "All right the two of you can go." They left. "I know it's strange, I mean we send them on dangerous missions all the time and let them fight but when it comes to this…"

"Yeah you tend to kind of see them as little kids," Logan sighed. "I hear ya. But let's face facts, those two are over eighteen now and they have to make their own decisions."

"I wouldn't worry too much," Ororo said. "Scott and Jean are responsible young adults. However it's the younger students I'm concerned with. Perhaps we should put together a sex education class." 

"That's not a bad idea," Xavier said. "But who would we get to talk to them about it?" 

They looked at Logan. "Don't even **think** about it!" Logan warned them.

************************************************************************

"I can't believe you goons had the nerve to show up today!" Rogue snapped. "Especially after what you did last night!" 

Todd and Althea were sitting in the kitchen scarfing down cookies as Rogue, Kurt and Amanda looked on. "What did we do that was so bad?" Todd asked.

"Do you want the short list or the long?" Amanda snapped. "Toad you and your friends ruined my life…again."

"We did not," Althea said. "Blame Kurt's dad and mom for that. Besides like I said your mom was the one keeping the secrets in the family." 

"Okay, who left all the blue fur in the guy's shower upstairs?" Ray asked as he walked in.

"Don't look at me," Kurt told him.

"That's right Mr. McCoy was in there all night!" Ray groaned as he walked out. "Figures, it's my turn to clean the bathroom." 

"You still shouldn't have barged in on our dinner like that!" Rogue snapped.

"No wonder my parents freaked," Amanda sighed.

"Does your mother know that you're here?" Kurt asked her.

"I told her as I was leaving the house but she kind of looked occupied with those weird plants. So I left a note just in case," Amanda said. "I just needed to get away. Find some place to think." 

A loud whoosh sounded upstairs followed by something colliding into a wall. "SAM HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO FLY IN THE HOUSE?" Scott shouted.

"Come back here you stupid dragon!" Forge shouted as he chased after Lockheed. "GIVE ME BACK MY SNEAKER!" 

There were the sounds of shouting outside and then an earthquake shook the place. "LANCE! PETER! KNOCK IT OFF YOU TWO!" Kitty shouted. "WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS HAVE TO TEAR UP THE LANDSCAPE!" 

"Oh please!" Wanda was heard next. "You like it and you know it!"

"Shut up Wanda!" Kitty shouted.

"Make me!" Wanda shouted back. Soon the sounds of even more things breaking outside joined the sounds of the boy's fighting. 

"Is it always such a madhouse around here?" Amanda asked.

"What do you think?" Rogue groaned. "Of course it's not half as bad as when the Misfits are over!" 

"And to think I came here to get some peace and quiet," Amanda sighed.

"Boy did you make a wrong choice," Todd snickered.

"That's it," Kurt snapped. "Let's get him!" 

Althea and Todd laughed as they ran off. A few hours later the entire mansion was searching the grounds. "I can't believe we are actually looking for the Toad!" Kurt grumbled.

"Toad? Where are you?" Wanda walked around. "Toad!"

"I don't get it," Althea said. "We split up by the woods and we were supposed to meet back at the garden. He'd never forget to meet me anywhere. Where could he be?"

"Hey we found something!" Pietro zoomed up to them. They ran over to a wooded part where the others were. They were standing around a large hole. 

"I don't sense anything from this hole," Jean said. "But it looks pretty deep."

"How did this get here?" Kitty asked.

"Don't look at me," Lance said. "I didn't make it." 

"You don't think he fell down that weird hole did you?" Fred asked.

"Blob this is Toad we're talking about," Pietro said. "The odds are pretty good."

**What happened to our favorite amphibian boy? What has he gotten himself into this time? Tune in next time for the answers and meet some more weird people! **


	4. Toad in the Hole

**Toad in the Hole**

Todd felt like he was falling forever. Then blackness claimed him. He heard voices. 

"OW! I can't believe it! My back hurts!"

"Serves you right for standing there in the first place!" 

"Let's just bring her back to the boss!" 

Todd opened his eyes. To his surprise he saw several squat humanoid creatures with yellow skin and tiny black eyes wearing simple brown and green outfits around him. "Hey she's awake!" One snapped. 

"That's not a girl you idiot!" Another creature snapped.

"How would you know?" A third creature snapped.

"Because I'm a girl and I can tell!" The creature told them. 

"Really?" The third creature asked. "I thought you were a guy?"

"That's because you have a cold," Another creature spoke. "Trust me it's a guy." 

"So this is a surface dweller," The female creature looked intently at Todd. "Hey I thought these guys were supposed to be all ugly. Like on TV." 

"You're right," One spoke. "He does look a lot more handsome than what we see." 

"Well I am a mutant," Todd spoke the words before he could think.

"Oh that explains it," The female spoke. "No wonder he looks so handsome." 

"Hello? Remember me? Your fiancée right here!" Another creature waved his hand at him. 

"Oh please he's not **that **good looking," She waved. "And he's still too thin for my tastes." 

"You two are engaged?" The first creature asked. "Since when?"

"At Molto's party last week," The Fiancée spoke. "You were drunk and passed out under the table. As usual." 

"Oh yeah," He nodded. "No wonder I'm the last to know everything."

"Excuse me," Todd waved. "Uh I don't wanna be rude or nothin' but who the heck are you guys and where am I?" 

"Oh sorry," The Female spoke. "We're Moloids. We're taking you to Subterranea." 

"Uh…WHOA!" Todd looked and found that he was riding in a wagon being pulled by a pair of giant lizards running very fast. "Okay…are you some kind of mutants?"

"Nah we're another race," One of the Moloids spoke. "You guys didn't think that humans were the only species on the planet did ya?"

"Typical," Another spoke. 

"Well we have been kind of hiding underground for a few millennia," The female spoke. "It's not like we advertise on TV or something."

"That's true," They nodded. 

"Besides our leader is human, technically," The female continued. 

"What?" Todd asked.

"It will all be revealed," The female spoke. They soon came to a metal platform. "Ever see Star Trek? You know that transporter they have?"

"Oh yeah I actually use one myself," Todd started to show them. "Hey where'd my watch go?"

The Moloids turned around and looked at one of their own. "Beffle…" The female said in a warning tone.

"Hey it wasn't me this time!" Beffle held up his hands. "Honest!" 

"I know the feeling pal," Todd said. 

They went on the transport pad and soon Todd found himself in a huge stone underground city. "Wow," Todd looked around. "An underground city. Who would have thought?" 

"Hey Mole Man!" Beffle called out. "We got somebody from the surface world!" 

"Idiots!" A very short stocky man with black hair and thick blue glasses walked out of a cavern. He was wearing a green uniform and carried a wooden staff. "That's Lord Mole Man to you buffoons! And why the hell did you bring a normal human to this sanctuary?"

"I am not normal!" Todd snapped. "I'm Toad! I'm a mutant!" 

"Oh," Mole Man squinted. "So you are. Man and I thought I was homely!" 

"Watch it!" Todd snapped. 

"Sorry," Mole Man apologized. "But I've been down here so long I've kind of lost touch with some of my social graces. And it doesn't help that I spend all my time with these clowns!" He jerked his thumb at the Moloids who were eating messily at a table nearby. 

"Forget about it," Todd said. "So are you a human?"

"We've been asking that question ourselves for years," Beffle said as he stuffed his face.

"Silence!" Mole Man snapped. "Don't pay them any mind. Actually it's nice to meet someone like myself for a change. Yes I am human but…Like mutants I too know the pain of being an outcast."

"Here we go…" The Female Moloid sighed. 

"Somebody get out the violin," Beffle groaned. 

"Oh please listen to my tale of woe!" Mole Man sobbed. "Nobody ever wants to hear my stories!" 

"That's because we've all heard them for a thousand times!" One Moloid called out. 

"Shut up!" Mole Man snapped. "I'm your ruler, remember? I am the King of Subterranea! Lord of the Moloids! Supreme Master of the Underground! I and I alone managed to seize control of the Moloid Empire and rule wisely these past…15…no 17…Is it 20 years? Well I've been down here a long time and I'm the boss so don't you forget it!" 

"Only because nobody else wanted the job!" Another Moloid yelled out. 

"Yeah its too much work and it takes away from our TV time!" Another yelled.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm the only one who knows how to get a signal down here and keep all of you in free cable!" Mole Man snapped. "One flick of my wrist and all of you will be forced to watch basic cable!" 

"You wouldn't!" One shouted.

"Try me!" Mole Man shouted. 

"ALL HAIL LORD MOLE MAN! KING OF THE MOLOIDS!" They all chanted and bowed. 

"That's better," Mole Man puffed up his chest. 

"Is it me or are the people I'm running into just keep getting weirder and weirder?" Todd asked himself. 

"Look I'm not really a bad guy," Mole Man said. "Just a little lonely."

"Well that's understandable," Todd said. "Okay so tell me your story." 

"Big mistake," Beffle said. 

"DO YOU WANT TO WATCH MONSTER TRUCK WRESTLING HOUR TONIGHT OR WHAT?" Mole Man snapped. 

"I'll be good," Beffle said. 

**So who is the Mole Man? What is his story? And yes I did borrow him from the Fantastic Four universe. So I put an odd little twist on him and some other members of the underground here. He he…**


	5. Mole Man's Tale of Woe

**Mole Man's Tale Of Woe**

"My real name is Harvey Elder," Mole Man told Todd as they shared a bite to eat. "I come from the world above. A world filled with cruelty and hatred for people who look like me."

"I hear ya," Todd nodded as he munched. 

"I came from a small city that was filled with petty ignorant fools who cared only about themselves," Mole Man continued. "A town that I will forever curse. A town called Bayville." 

"You're from Bayville?" Todd asked. "Why am I not shocked?"

"For all my young life I was mocked at, rejected by my peers," Mole Man told him. "You can't imagine what my existence was like growing up there!"

"Wanna bet?" Todd raised an eyebrow. 

"I could go on and on…" Harvey started.

"And believe me he can," The Female Moloid said. 

"On the day of my graduation, which should have been the happiest day of my life, I was the valedictorian. But I was humiliated beyond belief…" Mole Man sobbed.

"They threw tomatoes at him while he gave his speech, filled his car with shaving cream and set fire to his diploma," Another Moloid said. 

"On that day, on that terrible day I left Bayville forever!" Mole Man said. "But before I left I uttered a curse. I cursed the name of that horrible school forever! I wished that Bayville High would forever live in infamy and be known as a place of disaster and chaos! And that all that attended it would suffer! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" 

"You know this explains a lot," Todd grumbled. 

"But I digress," Mole Man glared at her. "I decided that the only way to get any respect was to make my name and become famous. So I decided to search for the legendary land at the center of the Earth. Of course if I had known I would have ended up in a suburb under the crust I would have simply moved to Jersey."

"I considered that too once," Todd said. 

"I decided to find my own way to the center of the world without any help from the legendary Explorers Club," Mole Man continued. "After they threw me out. But luck was with me. Just when I was down on my luck and drowning my sorrows at the local bar, I happened to overhear a conversation by two monster hunters. I followed them at a discreet distance as they traveled to a secret island in the deep ocean, which I called Monster Isle…after I was abandoned there. It seems my uh…companions didn't appreciate my company."

"They didn't like him spying on them," The Female Moloid told him. 

"And worse, they were fighting this really cranky guy who wanted to rule the world with this ancient technology," Mole Man kept going. "Well long story short…"

"Too late," Beffle said. 

"The evil monster was defeated and I was left alone," Mole Man continued. "However in the blast an avalanche occurred trapping me below the surface of the earth and destroyed the majority of my eyesight."

"Which explains his fashion sense," Another Moloid spoke. 

"However I discovered a tunnel leading down to this underground paradise," Mole Man continued. "And I discovered how to use the technology of the ancients to my advantage! With it I was able to conquer the Moloids and became their king!" 

"Conquer smonquer," Beffle said. "He gave us cable and TV. That's the only reason we follow him." 

"Hey give me a little more credit!" Mole Man snapped. "I can do more than that! See this stick? Watch!" He raised it and flames came out.

"Whoa!" Todd said. "It's like a flame-thrower!"

"That's not all it can do!" Mole Man said proudly. "Watch this!" His staff then set out electricity. "And this!" It created a burst of light. "And…" Then the earth shook.

"Nice earthquake boss," Beffle said.

"That wasn't me," Mole Man blinked. 

"I think I know who it was," Todd pointed. "Sounds like my friends have found me! Hey guys! Over here! Freddy put that lizard down!"

"I told you this was the right way," Althea said to the Misfits. "The X-Geeks are gonna feel so silly wandering around the tunnels with no direction." 

"Who are these people?" Beffle asked. "Man some of them are ugly!" 

"What?" Fred glared at him.

"It's not what you think Freddy," Todd told him. "Mole Man these are friends of mine. The girl with the black and blue hair is my girl Althea. That's Freddy, Lance, Pietro and his Sister Wanda and that's Xi right there."

"Hey this one's kind of cute," One of the Moloids looked at Xi.

"How'd you guys find me?" Todd asked.

"You dropped your watch a ways back there," Althea handed it to him. "We then tracked you to here."

"There was this weird fork in the road," Fred said. "One went left and the X-Geeks went right." 

"Okay could someone tell me what's going on here?" Lance asked. 

"Sure," Mole Man said. "Let me tell you my tale of woe…" 

"Here we go again…" Todd sighed. 

**Next: A nice little underground battle coming up. **


	6. This Means War

**This Means War**

"So let me get this straight," Lance asked later. "You've been living underground for like twenty something years with these guys?"

"The Moloids," Mole Man said. "Actually it hasn't been that bad. I've been keeping busy with…" 

An explosion rocked the place. "That was not me!" Lance gasped.

"Sir!" Beffle ran up. "We're being invaded by the Netherworlders!" 

"The who?" Todd asked. They looked and saw a small army of white skinned lanky humanoids advancing on the city. 

"It's Queen Kala!" Mole Man shouted. "She wants to conquer my kingdom!" 

"Oh really?" Pietro cracked his knuckles. 

"Uh I don't suppose you guys would mind helping me fight them will you?" Mole Man asked. The Misfits grinned and took off. "Well that was easy." 

Soon the Misfits were fighting among the strange warriors. "YEEEEHAAA!" Pietro laughed as he zipped through them. "This is too easy! WHOA!" He dodged a red beam.

"What the…?" Althea looked before them. "CYCLOPS?" 

"What are you guys doing?" Scott ran up with the X-Men and Amanda.

"What are **we** doing?" Lance shouted. "What are **you **doing?" 

"We're trying to rescue you from the Mole Man king!" Remy snapped. "He's trying to take over the underworld."

"Uh Hello!" Pietro waved. "We're not prisoners. This Queen Kala or something is the bad guy! Okay bad girl…" 

"Don't listen to him!" A woman wearing a red and yellow outfit with a red mask appeared. "He's been fooled by the Mole Man's lies!" 

"Hello!" Mole Man appeared. "She's attacking my kingdom! Who's the victim here?"

"He's got a point," Althea pointed out. 

"What point? He's lying!" Kitty snapped. "Duh!"

"Uh no she's lying," Fred said. "Du-uh!" 

"Gee the X-Men and the Misfits on opposite sides," Lance rolled his eyes. "What a shock!" 

Both X-Men and Misfits started to fight each other. As they fought both the Netherworld army and the Moloid army got caught up in it. "Hey watch it!" One of the Moloids shouted. 

"Will you dolts be careful?" Queen Kala screamed.

"You're supposed to trash their army! Not ours!" Mole Man shouted. "Oh great there goes my wall!"

"Well I just lost one of my catapults!" Queen Kala said as she saw it catch on fire. "Oh wait now I lost all of them!" 

"Oh great now half of my army is frozen!" Mole Man groaned.

"You're lucky, half of mine has a hot foot and a third is covered in slime!" Queen Kala groaned. "Look out for the rock!"

"Ow that's gotta hurt," Mole Man shuddered. 

"So these are surface dwellers?" Queen Kala watched the destruction. 

"Yeah makes you kind of glad we live underground doesn't it?" Mole Man said. Suddenly the ground shook. "Oh no…"

"Please tell me that was one of your little inventions…" Queen Kala asked.

"No it is not…" Mole Man sighed. He felt something wet on his face. "Huh? Uh is there a leak in the ceiling?"

"Yes there is!" Queen Kala gulped. "HEY KNOCK IT OFF YOU MORONS YOU'RE…" 

Suddenly the rock above them cracked and a huge flood of water descended on them. Everyone was washed away in the water. "Uh did I mention we're under the ocean?" Mole Man gasped as he splashed around. 

"My makeup!" Tabitha gasped. 

"Way to go Avalanche!" Scott shouted as they floundered around.

"Me? You started it!" Lance shouted.

"I did not!" Scott shouted back. 

"Will you morons shut up and help us stop the water from washing away what's left of my kingdom?" Mole Man shouted. 

Althea used her powers to direct the water around while Bobby froze as much as he could. Jean held the water back using telekinesis until Amara melted the rock to stop the leak. Soon the X-Men and Misfits were helping the two armies recover from underneath the rubble. 

"Okay maybe getting these mutants to fight each other wasn't the best idea we've both come up with," Mole Man gulped. "So much for getting them to help me conquer the surface world."

"Ditto for me," Queen Kala grumbled as she lay face down on the ground. "If there are people like this on the surface I don't want to rule it anymore."

"What did you say?" Jean looked at them. 

"Wait, both of you guys want to conquer the surface world?" Kurt asked. He looked at the others. "Why are we helping them?" 

"YOU'RE NOT!" Mole Man shouted. "Look at this place! Even Kala never did that much damage!" 

"Thanks a lot," Kala sat up. Her mask had been washed away. She looked over ninety. "Look what you maniacs have done to me! You've taken away my mask and revealed my ugliness! WAAHHHH!" 

"Oh great! You made her cry! Are you happy?" Mole Man snapped at the mutants. 

"How did you get so…old?" Beffle asked. "I thought you were immortal?"

"That is a long and tragic tale of woe," Queen Kala sniffed.

"Not another one…" Todd groaned. 


	7. Queen Kala's Tale of Woe

**Queen Kala's Tale of Woe**

"Once I was a woman of great beauty," Queen Kala sniffed. "I was the Queen of the Netherworlders, an ancient civilization."

"Was?" Lance asked. 

"Will you let me continue?" Queen Kala snapped. She then went back to her 'Please Pity Me' mode. "I wanted to rule the entire underworld and then the surface world. To make it a perfect place. That's not so bad is it?"

"You gotta be kidding lady," Bobby said.

"Well by my side was my bold and dashing consort and husband General Baxu," Kala sobbed. "Oh the plots we schemed! The wonderful plans we had. But one fateful day when we attempted to take over the world…and we were stopped by a group of no good surface dwellers…four of them to be precise. He was killed. And that's when things started to go downhill. I lost my kingdom and was banished."

"Oh because you couldn't conquer the surface world huh?" Mole Man asked.

"Well actually it had mostly to do with some problems I had with tax evasion…" Queen Kala sighed. "You would not believe how miffed some people get over things that are personal! I really needed all those shoes! So what if I had to loot the treasury to buy them! They were functional and they looked good on me! I mean you can't seriously expect a queen to conquer the world barefoot or worse…in bad footwear now can you?" 

"Amara you and her have a lot in common," Ray joked. 

"Shut up Pikachu Boy!" Amara snapped. 

"So I took my followers and left," Queen Kala sobbed. "But then the worst thing happened, when I left the Netherworld…It was horrible! Terrible!"

"What happened?" Fred asked.

"What happened?" Queen Kala snapped. "Take a look at me you overgrown ox! I got old and wrinkled! That's what happened! It was the air of the Netherworld that kept me young and beautiful. Without it…I look like the Mummy's mummy! I thought if I conquered the Mole Man's kingdom I could go back and conquer the Netherworld and be young and beautiful again! But I can't even do that and now I have nowhere to go and I'm all wrinkly….WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" She sobbed on the ground. 

"Well its not that bad…" Jean said.

"Oh shut up Miss Perfect Skin!" Queen Kala snapped. "Wait until you get past thirty and get your first wrinkle then you'll understand! And I hope you get a lot of cellulite on your thighs!" 

"There, there…" Mole Man patted her hand. "You poor thing. You've been through a lot."

"Hey boss she tried to conquer us," Beffle said.

"People make mistakes," Mole Man shrugged. Turning back to Queen Kala he said. "Look at the bright side, at least you're still thin and beautiful. Why don't you stay with me?" 

"You don't mind me being…wrinkled?" Queen Kala sniffed. 

"Hey with my eyesight I can't tell how old and wrinkled you are!" Mole Man said. "You look great to me."

"You're not just saying that?" Queen Kala sniffed. 

"How do we keep running into people like this?" Todd groaned. 


	8. And To Think, The Week Is Only Just Begi...

**And To Think, The Week is Only Just Beginning**

"I can't find hide nor hair of those kids!" Hank groaned as they searched the Institute grounds. 

"Enjoy it while it lasts," Logan told him. "There they are!" 

Sure enough out came the X-Men, Misfits and Amanda. They were soaking wet and covered in mud. "Well thanks a lot Toad for another fun day!" Kurt snapped.

"How was I supposed to know that hole would lead us to another civilization?" Todd snapped. "You always put the blame on me!"

"That's because you always start things!" Amanda snapped. 

"Where were you kids?" Logan asked. "We've been looking all over for you all day!" 

"It's a long story," Scott sighed. 

"Basically Toad fell down a hole which led to an underground civilization," Bobby told them. "We ended up getting caught in a feud between two rulers…well one ruler and one deposed queen." 

"We got into a fight, caused a lot of damage…" Wanda said. 

"The two rulers decided to make up and are now dating each other," Ray said. 

"They were going to plan on conquering the surface world but after one day with us they decided that it wasn't worth the hassle," Lance told them.

"In other word pretty much a normal day for us," Tabitha said. 

"Where's this hole?" Logan asked.

"It was in the woods but they closed it up," Pietro said. "They didn't want to take any chances that we'd come back and trash their world again."

"There were reports in the news of some kind of earthquakes in the ocean today," Hank held his head. "Please tell me that was not you Lance."

"Even if it is true?" Lance gulped. 

"Oh goody," Logan sighed. "Let's go in and eat! And don't track mud in the house will ya?" 

"Gonna be a bit of a problem," Jean sighed as she was covered in mud as well.

"And to think I came here for some normalcy in my life," Amanda groaned as they trudged back to the mansion. 

"You're in for a fun week Amanda," Rogue told her. 


	9. Bedtime and Bathtime Blunders

**Bedtime and Bathtime Blunders**

"How did you let them talk you into letting the Misfits stay here overnight Charles?" Logan roared. "How?" 

"Come now Logan we really need to work on bonding with the Misfits," Xavier said. "Mutants should not be divided. We have to learn to work together."

"You really believe that don't you Charles," Logan growled.

"I have to Logan," Xavier sighed. "I have to." 

"Great! Just what I need! Pajama patrol!" Logan threw up his hands. "You know those little maniacs are going to try something!" 

"They won't do anything," Xavier told them.

"Wanna bet?" Logan raised an eyebrow.

Meanwhile Kitty yawned as she got ready for bed. "Man I am so wiped." She was wearing her pajamas and walking down the hallway. She headed for the girl's bathroom not noticing the occupied sign. She phased right in. 

Someone was in the shower. "Oops. Don't mind me I was just…" She turned around and realized the shower curtain was open. There was Peter, very wet, very naked and very embarrassed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" 

"KITTY!" Peter gasped covering himself with a washcloth as best he could. "What are you doing in here?"

"ME?" She looked around. "In case you hadn't noticed this is the **girl's bathroom!** What are **you** doing in here? I mean I can see what you're doing in here but why?" 

"Bobby and Toad had a little fight in the boy's bathroom," Peter grabbed the shower curtain to cover himself even more. "There's ice and slime everywhere. Storm said I could shower in here. I put the 'occupied' sign out!" 

"Well…who can read at this time of the night?" Kitty blurted. "This is so embarrassing!"

"**You **are embarrassed?" Peter gasped. "Kitty please go before…" 

Just at that moment Tabitha walked into the bathroom with Amara. "Somebody else comes in…" Peter groaned. 

"Oh my…" Amara turned bright red.

"Oh pardon us," Tabitha grinned. "Don't let us interrupt." 

"Interrupt what?" Althea walked in with Wanda. "Oh."

"Well isn't this interesting?" Wanda grinned. 

"It's not what it looks like!" Kitty snapped. "I didn't know he was in here!"

"Sure you didn't Kitty," Althea said.

"Yeah, right," Wanda folded her arms. "I wonder if Lance would believe you."

"Well maybe she thought it was Lance?" Tabitha asked. 

"I didn't know **anybody **was in here!" Kitty protested.

"There's an occupied sign on the knob," Amara pointed out. "How can you not know?" 

"I didn't see it okay!" Kitty told them. "And anyway how come you guys are in here if you saw it?" 

"We heard a guy's voice in the girls' bathroom duh," Tabitha said. "Would you rather Logan saw this instead of us?"

"Oh no not Logan…" Peter moaned. 

"I wouldn't mind seeing a little more," Althea grinned.

Just then Kurt teleported into the bathroom with Amanda hanging onto him. "Whoops…I uh…What are all of you doing in the girl's bathroom?" He gulped.

"Funny question coming from you," Tabitha grinned as she folded her arms.

"I slipped on a patch of ice," Amanda groaned. "Thanks to Bobby. I got a little cut on my leg."

"I was just helping her put a band aid on it, honest!" Kurt protested.

"Well that story's more believable than Kitty's," Wanda said. 

"It is not a story!" Kitty protested. 

"Well you'd better come up with a good one cause Logan's coming this way," Amara looked out the door.

"Oh no…" Peter blushed. "Nightcrawler!"

"Got ya," Kurt grabbed Peter's arm and teleported him out of there moments before Logan stuck his head in.

"Hi Badger!" Tabitha had grabbed a perfume bottle and 'accidentally' squirted it in his face. "Like the newest perfume?"

"AGGGGHHH!" Logan gasped. "That stuff is awful! Will you girls wash that gunk off and get to bed?"

"Aye aye captain!" Tabitha saluted. "Nice to know no funny business is going on while you're here."

"You got that right!" Logan gasped trying to get the offending odor from his nostrils. He staggered away. "Crazy kids…" He walked down the hallway. "I swear Tabitha gets nuttier every day."

"Come on Cherie…" He heard Remy's voice from Rogue's room. "Just think about it will ya?"

"Listen swamp rat how many times…" She started to say when Logan burst into the door. "Logan!" She was in her bed and Remy was sitting on top of the bed. 

"I was um…" Remy gulped. 

"I know what you were doing Gumbo!" Logan unsheathed his claws. "Get out!" 

"Oh for crying out loud Logan!" Rogue snapped. "With my powers what could he do?"

"There are ways around it!" Logan snapped. 

"Really?" Remy asked. "Like what?"

"GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU'RE SHISH KABAOB!" Logan charged at him. 

"Only cause you asked so nicely," Remy smirked as he dodged the claws. Instinctively he sent out a charged card at him. Soon the both of them were jumping around the room, trashing it. 

"WILL YOU TWO MORONS STOP TRASHING MY ROOM!" Rogue shouted. 

Both of them stopped and looked at the damage. "Oops…" Remy gulped.

"Oops is right!" Rogue jumped out of bed and forced the two of them to backpedal out of the room. "And you can forget about me helping you with your history project Remy LeBeau!"

"History project?" Logan looked at him. "Is that what you were talking about?"

"Why else would he be carrying this?" Rogue showed him the history book that was on her bed. "I could have thrown him out on my own! And without destroying the place!" 

"What did you think Remy was doing in Rogue's room?" Remy smirked. "You really should be more trusting." Then Rogue hit him on the head with the book. "Ow!" 

"Did you really think I'd allow this idiot to do anything to me?" Rogue snapped at Logan. "Hello! Death touch remember?" 

Logan looked around and saw that all the other kids were outside the door giggling and smirking. "Well I uh…" 

"You are such a hypocrite!" Rogue snapped at him. "You're all in my face when you know damn well I won't do anything and you let Scott and Jean do whatever they want! That is so unfair!"

"Don't forget Kitty and Colossus!" Bobby snickered.

"Shut up and die Drake!" Kitty made a fist.

"WHAT?" Lance shouted. 

"Oh yeah Lance I was about to tell you about Kitty and Peter in the shower," Wanda said. 

"When was this?" Scott growled. 

"Just a few minutes ago," Tabitha said. "While you and Jean were making out in her room." 

"Uh…" Scott turned red. "We weren't doing anything!"

"Then why do you have a hickey on your neck?" Althea asked.

"Nice try! I didn't give Scott a hickey! I mean…" Jean gulped. 

"What were you doing with **him** in the shower?" Lance asked Kitty pointing at Peter. "That's what I want to know?"

"It was an accident!" Kitty protested. "I was going to the girl's bathroom to get ready for bed and there he was…"

"WHAT?" Lance turned on him. "YOU WERE GOING TO ATTACK HER WEREN'T YOU?"

"I was just taking a shower!" Peter shouted.

"I'll bet you were!" Lance jumped on him. Soon they were both wrestling in the hallway.

"I can't believe you don't trust me like that!" Rogue shouted at Logan. "You let those boys do whatever they want but one little thing I do and…" 

"Fine I'll go beat up Slim and the Tin Man in a moment are you happy?" Logan snapped at Rogue.

"It's a start," Rogue said.

"What did I ever do to you?" Scott yelled at her.

"Recently or do you want me to go way back?" Rogue asked.

"Never a dull moment here is there Kurt?" Amanda asked. 

"No there never is," Kurt sighed.

"What is going on out here?" Ororo walked up with Xavier behind him. "Boys! Stop fighting at once!"

"This pervert was going to attack Kitty in the shower!" Lance shouted as he was separated.

"**She **walked in on me!" Peter snapped back.

"So you're saying Kitty's the real pervert," Pietro said. "That we knew." 

"I am so going to pound you Quicksilver!" Kitty shouted as she leapt at him. 

"Too slow Kit Kat," Pietro dodged her. "But you're almost as fast as Jean is." 

"That's it!" Jean used her telekinesis on Pietro to shove him into a wall. "You're gonna die!" 

"Jean no!" Scott shouted. "**I **want first crack at him!" 

"THAT'S IT!" Logan shouted. "FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE A SEX EDUCATION CLASS AND ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY FOR EVERYONE! AND I MEAN EVERYONE!" 

"Uh…" Sam raised his hand. "Is that before or after Danger Room practice."

"Forget the Danger Room!" Logan snapped. "It's not important!"

"Wow…those are words I'd never thought I'd hear Logan say," Scott gulped. 

"Well Logan that is innovative of you to volunteer to talk to the children…" Xavier began.

"Who said I was gonna talk to 'em?" Logan growled. "I'm just gonna make sure everyone shows up and nobody leaves the room! **You're **going to talk to them!"

"Couldn't agree more," Ororo folded her arms. 

"I'm getting another headache…" Xavier sighed. 

**Next up: Sex Ed for Mutants. Nuff said! **


	10. Sex Education for Mutants

**Warning: The following chapter should not be used for any type of teaching exercise. It's way too immature and deranged for anyone. **

**Sex Education for Mutants**

"I can't believe we all have to do this," Kitty grumbled as they sat in one of the classrooms. Where's Jamie anyway?" 

"He and the Triplets went with Mr. McCoy to another class to talk about it," Scott told her. 

"The Triplets are here now?" Amara moaned. "Great!" 

"Are they really that bad?" Amanda asked Kurt.

"You have no idea," Kurt sighed. 

"This class is such a waste of time for me," Rogue grumbled as she folded her arms. "I mean how exactly am I gonna do anything if I can't touch anyone?"

"That depends," Pietro said. "How much do you like body stockings and leather outfits?" 

"Okay I'm gonna kill Pietro!" Rogue shouted. "Who wants to help me?" Several X-Men and Misfits alike raised their hands. 

"Nobody is going to kill anybody," Ororo told them. 

"Don't say that this early in the day," Xi said. 

"Now you are all here so that we can discuss certain…feelings that some of you may have," Xavier sighed. "I realize that these are confusing times for all of you. Some of you would like to express your feelings in a physical way."

"Yeah I'd love to beat the crap out of a certain Cajun who keeps coming into my room and wrecking it!" Rogue called out. 

"Hey Logan started it," Remy told her.

"I did not!" Logan snapped.

"Did too," Remy said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!" 

"You're both responsible so just shut up!" Rogue snapped. 

"Children! And I don't just mean the ones who are teenagers…" Ororo glared at Logan. "We're trying to help you make some responsible choices about how to handle your sexuality." 

"Listen to them. Look romantic feelings are fragile at best and not to be screwed with," Logan started to say. He winced. "Please tell me I did not say that." 

"Listen," Xavier tried to express his feelings. "I understand how you feel but sexual activity is not something you should take lightly. It's best left when two responsible, mature individuals in love…preferably adults handle it. There are consequences for your actions. You could end up getting a sexually transmitted disease or become pregnant and be responsible for another life before you're ready. Teenage sex can be dangerous."

"Oh and having lasers fired at us every day isn't?" Pietro asked. "Come on Xavier, we're mutants. We have people all over the world every day that want nothing more than to see us dead or worse. Our lives are already dangerous and we already have to face a lot more stuff than most teens. If we're responsible enough to go out into the battlefield, we should be responsible enough to do what we want in the bedroom."

"All right!" Remy crowed. "Tell it like it is!"

"Oh really?" Rogue glared at him. "And when were **you **planning on doing anything in the bedroom?"

"Uh…" Remy gulped. "Well you see…" 

"Never mind! Even if I could be with you I still wouldn't!" Rogue snapped. "Yet **some** people don't trust me enough to even make that decision!" She glared at Logan.

"Stripes I didn't…I mean…" Logan sputtered. 

"Well if you aren't going to say it I will," Pietro remarked. "Rogue we all know you're a good girl and Jean's a slut."

"WHAT?" Jean shouted. 

"Thanks Pietro…I think…" Rogue grumbled. 

"I AM NOT A SLUT!" Jean shouted.

"Yeah right!" Tabitha snickered.

"Look who's talking!" Jean glared at her.

"Hey! I never did it with a guy in the back seat of the car," Tabitha smirked. 

"Or has done it period," Wanda remarked. "Tabby's all talk and no action. Jean on the other hand…" 

"That makes Scott a slut too," Xi remarked. "Since he is active with Jean." 

"No Scott would not be a slut Xi," Fred told him. "The correct term is gigolo. I think." 

"THAT'S IT!" Scott reached for his visor. "You're gonna be blasted into next Tuesday!" 

"ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP!" Logan roared. "NEW RULE! NOBODY IS GOING TO BE DOING ANYTHING WITH ANYBODY UNTIL THEY REACH THE AGE OF THIRTY! GOT IT? AND IF YOU CAN'T!" He shot his claws out. "I'LL MAKE SURE YOU DON'T!" 

"Logan you can't scare them into abstinence!" Ororo said.

"Why not?" Logan snapped. "Sounds like a plan to me!" 

"What's wrong with abstinence?" Kurt shouted. "You all make it sound like it's a dirty word!"

"Isn't it?" Remy asked. Then Rogue hit him on the head. "OW!"

"Kurt's right," Amanda said. "We've talked about this and we've decided to stay celibate until we're older."

"Yes! Listen to them!" Logan said. "Do what they do?"

"You mean heavy petting instead?" Tabitha asked. 

"How did you find out about that?" Amanda shouted.

"On second thought don't do what they do…" Logan groaned. 

"Some discussion this is," Bobby groaned. "You guys yelling at us."

"Whatever works! Abstinence! Abstinence! Abstinence!" Logan shouted.

"This is getting entirely out of hand," Xavier groaned. 

"Look who's talking!" Rogue snapped at Logan. "What about you and Jinx? Huh? You two get it on like bunnies every time we turn our backs! It's disgusting! Remember the camping trip from hell? How about when we caught you on **my** birthday playing spin the bottle in your underwear with Ororo, Hank and the Joes?"

"Yeah if anything would scare us into not having sex that would be it," Althea shuddered. 

"Even hearing about that gives me the willies," Todd grumbled.

"Oh please somebody take that picture out of my head!" Sam groaned.

"Yeah why don't you guys practice what you preach?" Rogue snapped. "Just because you guys run around wild doesn't mean we do it. Well most of us." She looked at Jean. "Some of us are smarter than that. You should trust us." 

"I never said I didn't trust **you**," Logan told Rogue. "It's Gumbo I don't trust!" 

"Well you have a point," Rogue shrugged. 

"What is this? Gang Up on the Cajun Day?" Remy gasped. 

"Ooh! I know how to celebrate **that **holiday!" Todd grinned. He started to throw paper airplanes at him. 

Gambit began to charge a paper airplane. "You wanna see some fireworks?"

"Remy no!" Ororo shouted. "Put that out! Can we please get back to a calm rational discussion here?"

"Since when was **this **discussion calm and rational?" Xi asked. "I find this all quite amusing. The younger ones are either preoccupied with learning about sexuality or trying to control it in order to make a rational decision. And the adults are too overprotective of the young and are forced to refer on their own experiences with sex to try to find a way to balance it. This also makes them even more irrational. Therefore it is impossible to have a calm rational discussion about sexuality."

"At least with this group," Lance groaned.

"Ironically I am the person most qualified to head any rational discussion on sex," Xi said. "Being without a gender does have its benefits. I have no hormones or hang ups to worry about. Sex seems to be more about emotions than the act itself." 

"That is without a doubt the most totally ridiculous thing I have ever heard!" Logan snapped. 

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" A herd of Jamies ran in while being chased by the Triplets. 

"I couldn't contain them!" Hank shouted as he ran in. "Help me! I need help!"

"And I need to make a study of this for my notes," Xi wrote things down on a pad. 

"And I need to seriously get back at a certain Toad!" Remy tackled Todd.

"And I need to have a talk with you Rogue!" Jean snapped.

"And I need you to get a life Jean!" Rogue snapped. Soon all the Misfits and X-men were squabbling with each other. 

"And I have got to get a stronger brand of aspirin…" Xavier sighed as he popped some pills into his mouth. 

**Next: What happens when Roadblock and Beast face off in a cooking match? Besides a huge fire? Stay tuned for the madness! **


	11. Iron Chefs of Bayville

**Iron Chefs of Bayville**

"And at the end everyone was fighting each other," Ororo told Cover Girl and Shipwreck. They were sitting with Logan in the kitchen. "What a disaster this morning was. I don't think any of them are even going to be thinking of sex for a long time."

"In other words it was a total success huh?" Shipwreck asked. 

"What are you doing to that rib rack?" Hank asked. He and Roadblock were in the kitchen preparing dinner.

"It's called rubbing," Roadblock said. "I'm adding some spice to the meat so our dinner will be complete."

"It will be complete rubbish if you overload it," Hank told him. "Don't put so much on." 

"If you think about it we really have nothing to worry about with the majority of our kids," Shipwreck said. "I mean considering most of their powers the odds of the boys taking advantage of the girls are pretty slim. And besides those kids have good heads on their shoulders. I don't think any of them will really do anything."

"How do you know that for sure?" Ororo asked.

"Simple," Cover Girl said. "We've been spying on them."

"I'm telling you that you are using way too much of that stuff on it!" Hank told Roadblock.

"That **_stuff_** as you call it has been my family's secret recipe for ribs for three generations," Roadblock told him. 

"You mean you've been using these tiny little spy microphones on the kids?" Ororo looked at one of the tiny spy equipment. 

"Yup," Shipwreck nodded.

"It's a total invasion of their privacy," Ororo said. 

"Can we get a dozen of these?" Logan asked. He heard a commotion behind him. "What the…?" Both Roadblock and Hank were glaring at each other. 

"I can't believe you did that!" Roadblock shouted.

"Well someone had to save our dinner!" Hank snapped. 

"What's going on?" Lance asked as he, Scott and Kurt walked in. 

"I think there's a slight disagreement between our two chefs on tonight's menu," Logan told them. 

"Listen pal! I am a certified gourmet chef," Roadblock got into Hank's face. "I think I know a thing or two about spices!"

"You're a certified something all right!" Hank snapped. "I could cook dinner a lot better than you!"

"Is that a challenge?" Roadblock shouted.

"You bet your sweet bippy it is!" Hank roared. 

"Bet your what?" Lance blinked.

"From an old TV show," Shipwreck waved. "Before your time." 

"Well I say we take a page from another TV show to settle this!" Hank snapped. 

"Couldn't agree more," Roadblock said. "I say we have a cooking showdown!" 

"I accept your challenge!" Hank growled. 

"Bring it on," Roadblock said.

"And the best part is we all get to judge!" Lance grinned. "This will be great!"

"This is going to be interesting," Scott gulped. 

"Let's just pray they don't burn the kitchen down," Kurt moaned. 

************************************************************************

"Welcome to the first annual Xavier Institute Cook Off!" Fred spoke from a small booth with a microphone stand on it. He was dressed in a sport jacket and tie. "I'm Fred Dukes!" 

"And I'm the one and only Gambit," Remy sat next to him. "And we'll be the commentators of this here battle."

"Why are you two working together?" Jean asked. All the X-Men and the Misfits were in various parts of the kitchen preparing for the food battle. 

"Hey we're both the best judges of food from both sides," Remy shrugged. 

"Ask a stupid question…" Jean groaned. 

"Why am I allowing this?" Xavier groaned.

"Hey you wanna stop 'em be my guest," Logan told him. 

"In the visiting team corner, it's the Sergeant of Spices, the Colonel of Cuisine, the General of Gourmet…Roadblock and his lovely assistants Wavedancer and the Scarlet Witch!" Fred announced. Roadblock and his team waved to the group.

"In the home corner," Remy announced. "It's the Doctor of Desserts, The Master of Medicine and Meats, the Blue Chef himself! Beast! And his lovely assistants Boom Boom and Magma!" 

"HEY!" Kitty pouted.

"Why didn't you ask us to cook?" Jean asked.

"Sorry girls," Hank told them. "I love you but I wanna win this thing!" 

"Let's kick it up a notch!" Fred called out as he banged a gong. "Begin!" Immediately the cooks and their helpers went to work.

"Boy Kurt you guys really are competitive with the Misfits aren't you?" Amanda looked around at the cheering fans. Todd had a sign saying GO ROADBLOCK! Bobby had a sign saying BEAST IS DA BOMB! 

"And it looks like we're off to a great start here," Fred announced. "Roadblock has just put on the finishing touches of his seasoning to his ribs and now they are going to be cooked just right. Roadblock then picked up a flame-thrower and started to barbecue the ribs. 

"We all knew firearms were going to be introduced at one point or another," Remy groaned. 

"Two can play that game!" Hank snapped. "Magma!"

"It's go time!" Amara used her powers to roast a few stakes. 

"Fire in the hole!" Tabitha used her powers to stick some of her bombs in a chicken in order to cook it from the inside. Predictably it blew up and splattered all over Roadblock's side. This lead to retaliatory strikes by Roadblock's team. Soon both teams were throwing food instead of cooking it.

"ONIONS OF DEATH!" Hank threw them at Roadblock. 

"BROCCOLI OF DOOM!" Roadblock threw them like darts.

"I just knew this was going to happen…" Xavier moaned as the food fight played out before him. "You don't have to be a precog to see that coming? Why did I allow it? Why do I do this? Why do I let these things happen!" He was whacked in the head with a tomato. "And why am I always getting hit on the head with food?" 

"ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES!" Hank shouted as his team threw them at Roadblock's team.

"ONE TOMATO SURPRISE COMING UP!" Roadblock took out his flame-thrower and toasted them mid throw. 

"Kurt your friends and family have the strangest ideas for family dinners," Amanda watched the fight. "But I have to admit it's never boring." 

"How about these apples?" Tabitha managed to get a few time bombs stuck in some cored apples and threw them at Roadblock's team. 

"Oh yeah?" Wanda grabbed the flame-thrower and shot at them.

"NO!" Roadblock and Hank yelled at the same time.

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

Soon the entire kitchen and all of its occupants was covered in black soot and food. "That concludes the first and hopefully last Xavier Institute Cook Off…" Remy said weakly. 

"Last…" Xavier moaned. "Definitely last." 

"Who won?" Hank said in a funny voice.

"Whoever gets called in to redo the kitchen…" Roadblock replied. 

"I told you they'd burn the kitchen down," Kurt said.

"Technically they didn't burn it down," Todd told him. "They blew it up." 

"There's only one thing to do," Scott sighed. He looked at the others. "What you guys want? Pizza or Chinese?"

"Better have a bit of both," Fred told him. "And some fried chicken and donuts!"

"Anybody but us that would be a weird combination," Scott sighed as he dialed the first number on his cell phone. 


	12. Who Says Sunday Nights Have to be Dull?

**Who Says Sunday Nights Have to Be Dull?**

"Actually there wasn't that much damage considering," Shipwreck told the other adults much later. "Mostly soot and food. And with the help of the kids we managed to clean it all up in no time."

"Especially with Multiple and Quicksilver," Ororo admitted. 

"Sorry," Hank apologized.

"We got a little carried away," Roadblock told them.

"You think?" Low Light glared at them. 

"Well today was a lot of fun," Logan sighed as he threw the last pizza box in the tray.

"And it's gonna be a lot more fun tonight," Jinx smiled as she walked in the door.

"Jinx?" Logan blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Shipwreck's idea," Jinx told him. 

"I think we've all deserved a well earned night off," Shipwreck said. "Who's up for a trip to the bar?"

"I'll drink to that," Blind Master nodded. "But I don't want to be the designated driver this time."

"Fine I'll do it," Low Light waved. "Don't like to drink anyway." 

"Yeah I think we've earned a rest after this week," Logan said. 

"But the week's only just started!" Xavier protested.

"All the more reason to go get a bracer," Shipwreck told him. "So we can face what's coming up!" 

"He's got a point," Hank said. "I'm in." 

"Me too," Ororo got up. "Come on Charles…" 

"But…" Xavier started to protest as they left.

"You'll love it," Cover Girl said taking the handles of his wheelchair and pushing it along. 

"What's going on?" Scott and the other kids walked in.

"Us adults are all going out for some well earned 'Me Time'," Cover Girl told them. "Don't wait up!" 

"Let's all go out and paint the town red!" Shipwreck laughed. 

"Why do I let him do this to me?" Xavier groaned. 

"But who's gonna watch…?" Scott began as they left. Then he looked around. "Oh great. Jean looks like we're stuck being in charge again."

"What do you mean **we**?" Jean asked. "I think I'm gonna go hide in my room."

"Oh no you don't!" Scott ran after her. 

"Tonight is going to be a whole lot of fun isn't it?" Pietro cackled. 

"God help us all," Kurt moaned. 

**Next: The adults go out for a night of fun and romance! **


	13. Coupling

**Coupling**

"Aw come on Xavier stop worrying," Shipwreck said. "The kids will be fine for a few hours. They're not gonna burn the entire mansion down while we're away or anything like that." They were at a large table at a nearby bar.

"Well maybe not the **entire **mansion…" Hank grinned. He had on a wide hat and coat to hide his features. 

"Oh that really sets my mind at ease," Xavier groaned as he took a drink. 

"I gotta admit it is nice to get away from the kids," Logan sighed. 

"You do look a little tense," Jinx said. "Come on." The two of them went of to a quiet corner somewhere.

"Well," Shipwreck stretched out his arm. He happened to be sitting next to Ororo.

"You drape your arm over me and you will lose it mister," Ororo told him.

"Okay, how about we all go over there and leave these two lovebirds alone," Shipwreck indicated Low Light and Cover Girl.

"What?" They both gasped.

"You're right," Spirit winked. "We shall leave them alone on their date." 

"IT'S NOT A DATE!" Both Cover Girl and Low Light shouted at the same time. 

"It is now," Roadblock told them as they got up. "You two have been taking this way to slow, so we're going to give this a go."

"Have fun you two," The Blind Master snickered as they left the table.

"So **that's **the real reason we're doing this," Xavier said. "But what did you need me for?"

"Actually it's your credit card we really need," Shipwreck began.

"Oh lord…" Xavier sighed as they left to a corner of the bar. 

"I can't believe they did this!" Low Light groaned. 

"I can," Cover Girl groaned. 

"It's not as if I'm not capable of asking someone on a date," He grumbled.

"Well I could have asked you on a date if I wanted to," Cover Girl said. "It's not as if I was waiting for you to ask me."

"You weren't?" Low Light looked at her. 

"No…well…Maybe a little," Cover Girl stumbled. "You weren't going to ask me?"

"I didn't say **that**," Low Light remarked. 

"Well were you?" 

"Was I what?"

"Going to ask me out on a date?"

"Uh…eventually," Low Light gulped. "I mean I didn't want to come across like Shipwreck or anything."

"IF I'VE TOLD YOU ONCE I'VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES SHIPWRECK…" Ororo shouted before a loud slap could be heard.

"On the other hand…" Low Light groaned. "What's so funny?"

"Well its kind of funny," Cover Girl snickered. "I mean here you are, a highly skilled combat officer, capable of doing those missions that are impossible. You go into enemy territory without a second thought and yet when it comes to asking me out you're scared to death."

"I am not scared to death!" Low Light protested.

"Then why didn't you ask me?"

"Why didn't **you **ask me?"

"I asked you first." 

"So? Doesn't mean you can't answer first," Low Light said. 

"Yes it does," Cover Girl said. 

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Just answer the question, were you scared to ask me out on date or not? Yes or no?" Cover Girl asked. 

"I'm not gonna tell you," Low Light said.

"So you were scared," Cover Girl said.

"I was not!"

"Prove it!" Cover Girl challenged. "As me on a date now."

"I…I…I…" Low Light stammered. He looked away. "I hate you." 

"You are pretty shy for a guy you know," Cover Girl looked at him. "It's sweet." 

Low Light blushed bright red. "I am **not **sweet…" He grumbled. 

"Yeah and Logan and Jinx aren't making out in the bathroom," Cover Girl snickered. 

"You serious?" Low Light asked. 

"Please," Cover Girl waved. "She practically bragged about it to me." 

"What were her exact words?"

"You're trying to avoid the subject."

"Yes. Now tell me what she said."

Meanwhile on another table. "Well?" Shipwreck asked. 

"They're still avoiding the subject," Blind Master sighed.

"How can you hear them over the noise in the bar?" Hank asked. 

"I can," Blind Master said. 

"I still say we should have made it a double date," Shipwreck said to Ororo. 

"Shipwreck why are you annoying me like this?" Ororo moaned. 

"Would you like me to annoy you some other way?" Shipwreck grinned. 

"I should have stayed back at the mansion," Xavier sipped his beer. 

Meanwhile unbeknownst to them someone else was spying on the group. "Yeah Xavier," the figure chuckled. "You should have. You are making this way too easy for me." 


	14. Meanwhile Back at the Mansion

**Meanwhile Back at the Mansion**

"Drake I told you not to ice the stairs!" Scott yelled. 

"I had to make a slide for the babies," Bobby told him. Barney and Claudius were happily sliding down. 

"Jamie! Trinity! Okay now I know you guys are enjoying this game!" Jean shouted as they ran around chasing each other. 

Meanwhile over in a corner Althea, Todd, Kurt, Amanda, Xi, Kitty, Peter and Lance were checking over some items. "Night vision goggles?" Althea read from a list.

"Check," Todd went over it.

"Duct tape?" 

"Check."

"Knock out darts?"

"Check."

"What are you up to now?" Jean groaned.

"The adults are conspiring to get Low Light and Cover Girl together," Lance told her. "We're going to check it out." 

"You guys are going to go spy on the adults?" Jean asked. "I'm in."

"Jean no! We can't just leave! We have to watch out for the others!" Scott protested. 

"CHERE I SAID I WAS SORRY FOR THIS MORNING! STOP HITTING ME!" Remy screamed in pain.

"TABITHA I SAW YOU SET THAT PLANT ON FIRE!" Ray shouted. "YEOOWW!" 

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A TATTLE TALE PIKACHU BOY!" Tabitha shouted back.

"DON'T CALL ME PIKACHU BOY!" The sounds of things breaking filled the room.

"SAM WATCH OUT FOR THE WALL!" Forge shouted.

KABOOOM!

"Never mind…" Forge sighed. 

"STOP EATING ALL THE FOOD YOU GLUTTON!" Fred shouted.

"I'M HUNGRY!" Amara shouted back, "SUE ME!" 

BOOM!

"Sorry my bad this time," Forge said. "Wow that made a big hole." 

"On the other hand maybe it's not a bad idea to keep an eye on 'em," Scott sighed. 


	15. A Kidnapping Caper

**A Kidnapping Caper**

"Are they doing **anything** at all?" Shipwreck asked. The others were still spying on Low Light and Cover Girl. 

"Will you stop asking me that?" The Blind Master said. "I don't know."

A waitress came over to their table. "I have a round of drinks for you. On the house."

"Well that's…" Xavier looked up and saw that the waitress looked familiar. "Wait…aren't you…?"

He didn't get to finish because just then the 'waitress' then threw a small canister that emitted some knock out gas. She grabbed a mask and put it on. "NOW!" 

"What in the…?" Cover Girl gasped as she saw Beef and Bevatron burst in through the back. Bevatron instantly used his electric powers to scare off the rest of the remaining customers. Too late she noticed the other Joes and the mutants at the table were knocked out.

"Sorry to spoil the party," Monet removed her waitress disguise. "But your presence has been requested by our leader. She wants a word with you." 

"We're not going anywhere with you!" Cover Girl snapped.

"Who said we wanted **you**?" Monet snickered. She pointed at Low Light. "It's **him** we're after. Good night!" She sprayed some knock out gas in their faces. They collapsed to the floor. "Well that was easy."

"Wrong," Logan growled as he and Jinx leapt out of the shadows and knocked down Bevatron and Beef. "It just got harder!" 

They both put up a good fight, however when they were distracted Jetstream snuck up behind them. "Bye bye," Jetstream laughed as he threw a few gas grenades. Soon everything went dark.

The next thing Logan knew Jean was standing over him. "He's coming to," She said. "Logan what happened?"

"Hellions…" Logan spat out. "The jerks jumped us and filled the place with knock out gas." The Joes and the other X-Men were coming to as well.

"Where's Low Light?" Cover Girl looked around. "Damn! That bitch got him!"

"Who?" Scott asked. 

"Monet, she said she wanted him," Cover Girl told him. "How did you guys get here so fast? What did you pick up the Hellion's activity or something?" 

"Uh…yeah, right," Scott nodded rapidly. 

"Why would the Hellions want to kidnap Low Light?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Where's the Professor?" Ororo looked around. "He's missing as well!"

"This is not good," Scott said. "Let's call the others! We have to find them!"

**What do the Hellions want with Xavier and Low Light? Tune in to find out! **


	16. An Unusual Offer

**An Unusual Offer**

"Ugh what was I drinking?" Low Light shook his head. He found that he was in a warehouse of some kind bound to a chair with metal restraints. "Oh goody." He saw Xavier was next to him. "They got you too?"

"Apparently," Xavier sighed. "I've tried calling the X-Men with my mind but something is blocking my telepathy."

"That would be me."

"Oh great…" Low Light looked and saw who it was. 

"Greetings gentlemen," Emma Frost walked up to them. She was wearing a very skimpy white corset and panties as well as a white cape that was draped over her shoulders. "I've come with a proposition."

"Women dressed like you usually do," Low Light remarked. 

"What is it you want Emma?" Xavier asked. 

"I'm here to make you an offer Charles," Emma told him. "I'd like the both of you to join me."

"What?" Low Light glared at her. "You couldn't just make a phone call?"

"I prefer a more…personal touch," She grinned at him.

"Spare me…" Low Light gagged. 

"Listen Charles," Emma turned her attention to Xavier. "Humanity is becoming more and more hostile to mutants. It won't be long before they completely turn on us. I'm offering you sanctuary from them."

"As much as I appreciate your offer," Xavier looked at her. "I don't think I will be able to take you up on it." 

"Charles despite your ridiculous fondness for humans I'd rather have you as an ally than as an enemy," Emma told him. "At least you're more stable than Magneto." 

"He still giving you trouble?" Low Light asked.

"Let's just say we've been steering clear of each other for now," She said. "However at least he has the good sense to know which way the wind is blowing, which is more than what I can say for you. I am trying to be reasonable here." 

"**Reasonable**?" Low Light laughed. "You kidnap us and you expect us to think that you're reasonable! You're deluded, that's what you are!" 

"Look who's talking," Emma looked at him. "I mean for crying out loud you're a mutant in the army. Well an enhanced mutant in the army technically but still close enough. I'm offering you a way out."

"Yeah like I'd actually go run off with you and your anti-boy scouts here?" Low Light indicated the Hellions with his head. They were standing off to the side. "I'm already a babysitter for some lunatic kids thank you very much!" 

"Think about it," She said. "How long do you'll think you'll really last in GI Joe? Sooner or later some general is going to realize what kind of a weapon they have and transfer you to another unit. Or worse."

"General Hawk would never allow that!" Low Light snapped.

"Maybe not, but he may not have a choice in the matter," She replied. "Who's to say how long he'll last anyway?"

"If you do anything to Hawk or any of the others…" Low Light growled. 

"Who said **I **would do anything?" Emma purred as she came closer to him. "I'm just suggesting a man like you should keep your options open. And such a handsome man as well."

"Give me a break," Low Light groaned. 

"Come now, you should give me a chance," Emma used her powers to reach out to his mind.

"Get out of my head before I break yours you witch!" Low Light hissed. 

"Interesting," Emma looked at Low Light. "I'm not getting any type of reaction from you. You really aren't attracted to me. No man has ever **not **been attracted to me in a long time!"

"This might come as a shock Frostie but not all guys think with their privates," Low Light snapped. "It'll take more than some peroxide bimbo in a skimpy uniform to get me to betray GI Joe!" 

"Bimbo!" Emma huffed. "Bimbo? But you don't mind falling for that tramp Cover Girl?" 

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TRAMP YOU VICTORIA'S SECRET REJECT?" Cover Girl burst through the door with the Misfits. The X-Men also showed up as well.

"Now things are going to get interesting," Beef grinned as he cracked his knuckles. 

**Next up: A nice little fight with the Hellions. Wheeee! **


	17. The Usual Rescue Scene

**The Usual Rescue Scene**

"Oh look," Emma drawled. "The X-Men and The Misfits along with a few Joes have come to save the day." 

"Yeah unlucky for you…" Cover Girl snarled. "Let 'em go! Now!" 

"I don't think you of all people are in any position…" Emma began to say. She was then cut off by a telekinetic shove by Jean. "Very well…if it's a fight you really desire."

"Thought you'd never ask," Althea grinned. They charged the Hellions. As good a fight the Hellions put up, they were outnumbered. To top it off, Low Light had managed to escape his bonds by reverting to a gas form temporarily and was now in the fight. 

"Hold it sister, you and I have some issues!" Cover Girl went to hit Emma. Immediately Emma reverted to a diamond form. "OW!" Cover Girl held her damaged hand. 

"Too bad you can't hurt me," Emma grinned. Something tapped her on the shoulder. "Huh?" 

Low Light had reverted to a diamond form as well and gave her a good right cross. "Two can play this game sweetheart!" He snarled.

"How dare you strike a lady!" Emma snarled as she fell to the floor.

"You may be a woman but you ain't no lady," Low Light snapped. "What can I say? I'm all for equal fights." 

"You mean equal rights," She stood up and glared at him.

"Nope," He grinned. "Equal fights. Now let's dance!"

"Another time perhaps," She told him. "Hellions! Retreat!" 

"You okay?" Low Light asked.

"Besides needing a new hand? Just fine. Well diamonds **are** a girl's best friend," Cover Girl looked him over.

Low Light returned to human form. "Thanks for the rescue. If I had to look at that bad outfit of hers any longer I would have thrown up." 

"So why did they grab you?" Logan asked.

"She wanted to ally us with the Hellions," Low Light explained. "Come over to the dark side, rule the world. Yada, yada yada…" 

"Don't bad guys ever have anything **original **to say?" Bobby asked. 

"Wait a second…" Low Light looked around. "All of you are here?"

"Yeah," Scott said. "Once we heard that you were in danger we called in the others for back up."

"Even Amanda's here?" Low Light asked.

"Well I kind of got caught up in the moment," Amanda admitted. 

"But if you're all here…" Xavier asked. "Then where are the babies?"

"They're back…" Lance began. 

"At the mansion…" Scott looked at him. "Uh oh…" 

**Uh oh is right! Just what have those two little scamps gotten up to while everyone went off? Find out next! **


	18. Where Have All The Big People Gone?

**Where Have All the Big People Gone?**

_"Where are they all going?" _Barney whined as he saw the remaining X-Men leave. They had been happily playing in their little playpen when suddenly the remaining mutants got up and left. _"Why did they leave all of the sudden?" _

_"Who knows why big people do anything?" _Claudius said as he tipped over the playpen. They rolled out of it. _"Well only one thing to do! Take advantage of it!" _

_"I don't know Claudie…" _Barney hesitated. _"Maybe we should wait right here for the big people to come back." _

_" Yeah…right. Stop being such a preemie," _Claudius rolled his eyes.

_"I am not a preemie!" _Barney protested. 

_"Then come on!" _Claudius hopped away. 

_"Hey slow down! Some of us are still crawling you know!" _ Barney called after him as he dragged his bat along. 

_"You'd go a lot faster if you'd put the stupid bat down."_

"My bat is not stupid! Daddy gave it to me so I'd be warm and safe."

"Oh brother! Hey! What's Polly doing?" Claudius looked up and watched as the parrot was talking into a phone. 

"Yeah it's gonna be a blast," Polly spoke into the phone. "Plenty of booze and everything. And a poker tournament." 

_"Polly always does silly things," _Barney told Claudius. _"Let's go find some candy." _

"Now you're talking!" Claudius laughed as they hopped into the kitchen. _"Now where is it?" _

_"Up there!" _Barney pointed to a cabinet above. _"I can smell it!" _

"Great! How do we get up there?" Claudius struggled to climb a chair. _"Barney help me up! Barney?" _

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Barney shouted as he hung onto Lockheed's leg with one hand as they flew up. He used his bat to knock the door loose. Candy poured out. _"Still think my bat's stupid?"_

"I stand corrected," Claudius grinned as he started to tear into the candy. 

_"All right!" _Barney laughed. 

**This is not good…**


	19. Fun Times at the Xavier Institute

**Fun Times At the Xavier Institute**

"Well now we get to see the damage," Shipwreck sighed as they pulled up to the mansion. They got out of their various cars and vans. "Lord only knows what the babies did while we were gone." 

"Well they were in their playpens when we left," Bobby said. "Maybe they stayed in them?" 

"Oh yeah **that'll **hold them," Scott sighed. "What the…?" Some very loud music was blaring from the mansion but it was not what they expected. "What the heck is that sound?" 

"The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room Song?" Lance blinked. "Why is **that** song blaring?"

"Is that what it is?" Remy asked. 

"I take it you've never been to Disneyland?" Kitty snickered. They went inside. "Oh…my…" 

Hundreds of birds, mostly parrots were all around the mansion. Many were in several groups saying words like 'Hello' and 'Pretty Boy' to each other. Some even had little drinks in their claws. "WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THESE BIRDS COME FROM?" Logan shouted. 

"POLLY!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"WHOO HAAA!" Polly called out as he flew by with a bottle in his feet. "Drinks for everybody!"

"MY SCOTCH!" Xavier shouted. "MY IMPORTED RARE SCOTCH!" 

"Oh gross," Tabitha made a face. "There are feathers everywhere."

"I don't wanna think of what the bathroom is like," Kurt winced. 

"Are those birds playing poker?" Hank gasped at a gathering of birds at a table.

"Yeah with one of **my** decks!" Remy shouted. "SHOO! GET OUT OF HERE! VAMOOSE!" He stormed up to scatter the players. 

"Lockheed how did **you **learn to play cards?" Kitty yelled. "And where did you get that poker hat?" Sure enough, at another table was Lockheed in a little hat with another group of poker playing birds. 

"Don't look at me!" Remy shouted. 

"Five will get you ten Polly taught him," Todd remarked. "Hey he has a full house! He plays better than you do."

"Oh this is not happening!" Remy groaned. A white bird landed on his head. "Please god tell me this is a dream."

"I'm starting to miss the Hellions," Low Light grumbled. 

"How did that bird manage to throw a party like this so fast?" Scott looked around in disbelief. 

"Who knows how that stupid bird does anything?" Lance groaned. 

"And we were worried about the babies?" Bobby groaned. 

"It's like that movie with all these birds attacking people and taking over," Fred remarked. "And these birds were pecking everybody and driving them nuts. Nothing but birds as far as the eye could see. What was the name of that movie again?" 

"Jaws Blob," Rogue answered sarcastically. "Get these overgrown feather dusters out of here!" 

"Shoo! Scram!" Logan started to chase around several birds using his claws. All the other adults started to do so as well. Of course several birds simply flew out of their reach. "ARE THEY LAUGHING AT US?" 

"They are laughing at us!" Scott shouted.

"Scary isn't it?" Lance sighed. "Spirit? Is that Freedom?"

"Who's Freedom?" Kitty asked. 

"DUCK!" Peter shouted. Everyone did as something huge swooped over their heads.

"My bald eagle," Spirit told him. "I told Polly not to give him Scotch. It always makes him irrational." 

"Kurt I know you promised me evenings I would never forget when we started to date but this is ridiculous," Amanda said as she chased the birds. 

"Ridiculous is not the word for this!" Kurt shouted. "Shoo! Go away! OW! STOP PECKING MY TAIL!" 

"Storm! Fry these Kentucky critters!" Remy yelled.

"I am not going to harm defenseless animals!" Ororo snapped.

"Why not? You don't mind frying my Dad!" Althea snapped.

"DEFENSELESS MY BUTT!" Logan roared. "MY JACKET'S ALREADY A MESS!" 

"And so's the kitchen thanks to the babies," Hank sighed. "You don't want to look in there."

"What do you mean?" Xavier wheeled in. "OH MY GOD!"

"I told him not to look," Hank sighed. 

"Let me guess," Shipwreck sighed. "Two babies, a lot of chocolate…no diapers on now…one very big mess."

"Bingo…" Hank shook his head. "How is that possible? How is such a horrific mess like that humanly possible?" 

"I'd better get the hose…" Cover Girl sighed. 

"My mansion…" Xavier sobbed. "My beautiful mansion. It's not bad enough that Mystique blew it up once but…." A bird landed on his head. "I don't know what I did in a past life but I am so paying for this now!" 


	20. Nocturnal Visitations

**Nocturnal Visitations**

"Well this is one project that's going to have to wait until the morning," Logan grumbled as they looked around and saw the huge piles of feathers. "Has Shipwreck taken that bird back yet?"

"Yes," Spirit nodded. Low Light and the Blind Master were with him as well. "They took the kids back too. We'd better be heading out. And I thought that business with the Hellions was a mess." 

"Good thing you found us so fast," Low Light remarked. 

"It was easy," Spirit told him. "Between myself and Logan we were able to track you down."

"Please," Logan waved. "Those jokers left such and obvious trail a blind person could follow it. No offense." He looked at the Blind Master.

"None taken," Blind Master grinned. "See you in the morning." 

************************************************************************

_You would think after a day like today I would fall asleep easily…_Kurt thought as he teleported to the kitchen.

To both their surprise he teleported right in front of Amanda. "Yikes!" He gasped.

"What are you doing here?" They both asked at the same time. "I couldn't sleep…" Both snickered as they realized what they had done. 

"Is it a bad sign when you start thinking like your boyfriend?" Amanda asked with a grin.

"In this case, probably," Kurt smiled. "So what are you doing down here?"

"I just needed to get some warm milk," Amanda sighed. "I keep thinking about my mother." 

"I'm sorry things have been so crazy lately we haven't had a chance to talk," Kurt apologized as he sat down.

"Don't be," Amanda waved. "Actually in a way this has kind of helped me take my mind off my problems. Is it always like this around here?"

"No. Well maybe a little," Kurt sighed. "It's usually not as crazy 24-7. I mean for some reason it seems like things have really piled up this week." 

Amanda sighed. "I just can't get it out of my head. My own mother lied to me about who she was and what she could do all this time. Why couldn't she tell me? Was she that afraid of how I'd react?"

"Maybe," Kurt said. "Or maybe she just really did want you to lead a normal life."

"Well shouldn't it be my choice to decide how 'normal' I want my life to be?" Amanda asked. "And who's to say what's normal?" 

"True," Fred walked in. "I mean take a look at your dating situation for starters." 

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked.

"I got hungry," Fred told him. "There's nothing left back in our place."

"So you'd eat our food?" Kurt grumbled. "Why not?"

"Hey!" Fred looked in the fridge. "There's nothing in here but birdseed!" 

"Blame your stupid parrot for that," Kurt told him.

"Polly's Shipwreck's parrot not mine," Fred told him. "Now Amanda, about your problem…"

"Blob now is not the time for this!" Kurt grumbled. "Besides it's nothing you would understand." 

"Actually I've been doing a bit of reading on this subject," Fred told him. "And I have had some life experiences on this as well."

"Life experiences?" Amanda looked at him.

"Well yeah," Fred told her. "I got a mom too ya know. Of course I haven't seen her since I was a baby. She kinda gave me up to my grandmother to raise. I mean okay maybe she didn't want a kid hanging around her but if you look at it logically she probably knew she couldn't take care of me and her lifestyle ain't exactly perfect for child rearing."

"Fred I'm sorry. I had no idea. What does she do?" Amanda asked. 

"Well she started out wanting to be a Vegas showgirl," Fred told her. "Ended up as a stripper. Then she made a career change. Ten years ago she sent me a postcard saying that she was going to become an agent of the glorious people's revolution. I don't have any idea where she is but I know the postcard was from China." 

"Oh…" Amanda blinked. 

"Of course a few years ago I heard a rumor from one of my cousins in the circus that she was last spotted in Russia on the arm of some mob boss," Fred shrugged. "But then again who knows what she's really doing. I mean my cousins have habits of stretching the truth a bit. Like the time they claimed they were swallowed alive by a python, that never happened. They were only bitten by a couple dozen rattlesnakes. What were we talking about again?" 

"About my mother lying to me all these years…" Amanda said. "Although after listening to you it does put things into perspective." 

"That's why the two of you get along so well," Fred told them. "Both of you have very tolerant natures. I mean look at him; he practically forgives that psycho witch of a mother of his for all the lousy stuff she's done to him. So in retrospect Amanda you've got it pretty easy." 

"Now the Blob is psycho-analyzing our relationship at two in the morning," Kurt moaned. "Can this night possibly get any…" He heard a loud shout and a zap from upstairs. "Worse?"

"You guys really have to learn to stop saying things like that!" Fred grumbled. 

They went upstairs and saw Shipwreck running by them being chased by an angry Ororo in her nightgown. "COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN!" She shouted. 

"What is going on here?" Logan walked down the hall wearing only his pajama bottoms. 

The other X-Men had congregated in the halls. "It looks like Shipwreck stayed behind for a little visit," Scott told him.

"And he's not the only Joe here," Jean pointed. 

Jinx walked out wearing only a blue pajama top. "Uh…What's going on?" 

"AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO LECTURE US ABOUT OUR SEX LIVES?" Rogue yelled. 

"We are never going to get any sleep tonight," Kurt sighed. 

**Next: Ever wonder what a dragon thinks about? Find out in the next chapter and a whole new adventure begins. Again…**


	21. A Day in the Life of Lockheed

**This chapter was inspired by Descendent. Check out the fic 'Brotherhood Evolution'. It's a lot of fun! **

**A Day in the Life of Lockheed: Personal Journal**

My humans are so weird. 

I never tire of their bizarre antics. Yesterday they nearly burned down the kitchen. And they complain about my fires? I know for a fact that they start ten times more fires than I do! 

Still I love my humans, especially Kitty, my favorite. I swear she acts just like a sentient dragon sometimes. I wish she would find more suitable suitors though. I don't approve of either Lance or the big metal guy to be her mate. When she is older I will find her a more suitable companion.

They are odd creatures however. They have this bizarre belief that the entire planet revolves around them. It never occurs to them that I might have a life of my own. Which reminds me, Polly owes me fifty bucks from the poker game the other night. That flying weasel better pay up if he wants his tail feathers in one piece! 

Still my humans are often sad because other humans treat them badly because they can do things other humans can't which lets face it is stupid. I mean there are many animals and dragons that do different things and usually we get along pretty well. Unless said animal is part of another animal's food chain. I mean for example horses don't get jealous of birds because they can fly and birds don't get jealous of horses because they can run fast. I know for a fact Polly isn't really jealous of any animal with the exception of this one parakeet but that's because he's sweet on this little parrot Polly likes. 

Still humans are lower life forms and I guess you have to be patient with them. 

Here is my list of things I must do today: 

Inspect my home for predators. Dragons must protect their home! It's our most important job! Train my human Kitty into not taking the paper before I am done reading it. 

3. Play with Kitty. (Humans need a lot of attention.) 

4. Teach those ridiculous male humans not to invade my territory (again!) I swear don't they have any clue what marking is? What do they think I am doing? Making a mess? 

5. Get fifty bucks from Polly

6. Snack time

7. Naptime (Raising humans takes a lot out of you.) 

8. Afternoon snack time

9. Dinner

10. Dessert

11. Making sure my humans behave themselves and not get into trouble. Sometimes I have to discipline them when they do something wrong by shredding their shoes and sneakers but you have to train them right!

Well I'd better get going. I think the human with the large shiny head is trying to invade my closet again. Sigh, sometimes I wonder why I have so many humans. They are a lot of work.


	22. This is What We Call an 'Uh Oh'

**This is What We Call an 'Uh Oh'**

"LOGAN WENT WHERE?" Ororo shouted.

"He and Jinx merely wanted some…alone time," Xavier winced at her tone. "They'll only be gone for a day."

"And what about you and Hank?" She glared at him. 

"Ororo you know the two of us are taking some of the children to a field trip to New York to the museum," Xavier said. "We discussed this weeks ago. You didn't want to go this time, remember?"

"I also didn't want to be stuck here alone with the children all day!" Ororo snapped.

"You won't be alone," Hank told her. "Shipwreck is staying with you today."

"Like I said…" Ororo gave him a deadly look. "I don't want to be here **alone** with the kids all day!" 

"You're not going to be with all of them," Xavier told her. "We're taking Jamie, the Triplets, Fred…"

"The Blob?" Hank interrupted. "We're taking the Blob on a field trip to a modern art museum?" 

"He wanted to come," Xavier shrugged. "It would expand his horizons. As well as Pietro and Wanda."

"Those two as well?" Hank winced. "No wonder Logan took off!" 

"Roberto, Ray, Amara, Peter, Lance and Kitty are going as well," Xavier sighed. 

"Oh lord those two groups of lunatics in the same place!" Hank gasped. "What are you trying to do Charles? Get us all banned from every cultural establishment in the state?" 

"They will be on their best behavior," Xavier said. "Cover Girl and Low Light are going to chaperone as well."

"What about the parrot?" Ororo asked.

"He's staying at home with a hangover," Xavier told her. "Spirit and the Blind Master are looking after the babies as well. I also sent Lockheed over there for the day. I caught him tearing up one of my good pairs of shoes this morning." 

"So the only ones I have to worry about are Scott, Jean, Kurt, Amanda, Althea, Todd, Xi, Sam, Tabitha, Bobby, Rogue, Forge, and Remy?" Ororo asked. "Well maybe this won't be so bad. The only one I really have to worry about is Shipwreck." 

"Ha ha," Hank looked at her. "See you got the easy group!"

"I would not call Tabitha, Bobby, Todd, Xi or Remy easy by any stretch of the imagination," Ororo told him. "But the others aren't so bad. I know Forge won't give us any trouble today. He's working on some kind of project. He'll be working all day and so he'll be nice and quiet."

Ororo did not realize the irony of her words until much later.

************************************************************************

"So what the heck is this do hickey again?" Todd scratched his head.

"It's my latest invention," Forge told him. "It's a cell regeneration laser. It's supposed to speed up the healing process. Kind of like Logan's healing factor only much more technical." 

"It looks like a ray gun to me," Xi remarked. It was a large device that hung from the wall that did look like something out of Buck Rodgers. 

"It's a bit simplistic but…" Forge began. 

"SHIPWRECK COME BACK HERE!" Ororo's voice rang out.

Shipwreck ran in with Ororo hot on his heels. "Aw come on babe! I swear I don't know how your bra got in my pocket! It must have happened when I was doing the laundry!"

"Yeah right!" Ororo shouted as she caught up with him and started to throttle him.

"Hey watch it you two!" Todd yelled.

"Come on guys this is…" Forge accidentally knocked over a switch. "Whoops."

"Whoops?" Both Shipwreck and Ororo asked right before the laser hit them. "YEOW!"

"It's gonna blow!" Todd yelled as the ray sparked and fizzled. It exploded with a loud crack. 

"What is going on here?" Scott ran in with Bobby. "Is everyone okay?" 

"If your definition of 'okay' means slightly fried yeah," Todd snapped sarcastically. 

"What the hey…?" Shipwreck gasped in a high voice. "Forge what the heck did you do to us?"

"Are you okay?" Forge asked as he made his way through the smoke.

Standing there were Ororo and Shipwreck but they had regressed to fifteen-year-olds. Shipwreck of course didn't have a beard but had a huge tuft of black wavy hair. Ororo's hair was longer as well and their clothes fit loosely on them. "Uh…Where are we?" The teenage Ororo looked around. 

"Don't you know?" Bobby asked.

"Things are kind of blurry right now," Shipwreck rubbed his head. "I think I know all you people but…Who are you again?" 

"Oops," Forge gulped. 

"Oops is right!" Althea snapped. 

**Storm and Shipwreck…teenagers? Oh boy. Tune in next time for the fun. **


	23. Kids Today

**Kids Today**

A short time later, unaware of the events in the Lab, Rogue walked into her room and saw a strange sight. Someone was in her closet tossing clothes out. "Hey! What are you doing?"

Ororo poked her head out of the closet. "Hey Rogue! Just grabbing something that'll fit me!" 

"Storm?" Rogue gasped. "Is that you?"

"Well yeah I mean how many other girls with white hair are there around here?" The teenage Ororo grumbled as she rifled through Rogue's clothes. "I swear Rogue you are the only girl around here with any taste in clothes! If I had to wear any of Kitty's things I would have had to throw up! And you don't wanna know what Jean wanted me to wear! Bleach! You don't mind do you? I mean you wouldn't want me to suffer through fashion withdrawal would you?" 

"Uh no…"

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Ororo chimed happily. She grabbed some clothes and went behind the closet to change. 

"What happened?" Rogue blinked. 

"Well Forge made this gizmo and it went off and ka-blam! Next thing I know my clothes don't fit me anymore! I mean I wanted to lose weight but honestly!" She appeared. She was wearing a black tank top with a black mesh, a red skirt with black leggings. "What do you think? Needs accessories?" 

"Uh yeah…" Rogue found this experience very weird. "Knock yourself out." 

"Thanks. Oh I love this choker!" She grabbed a black choker with a lightning symbol on it. Then she grabbed a silver belt. "Perfect! You got any black lipstick I can borrow?" 

"FORGE!" Rogue stormed out of her room. "FORGE WHERE ARE YOU YA LITTLE RAT? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME YOU…." She had stomped downstairs and went into the living room. "FORGE WHAT…In the world?" 

On the couch was a teenage boy who looked very familiar. He was wearing jeans and a blue T-shirt. He was munching on pizza with one hand and was playing a video game with the other. "YEAH! ALL RIGHT! COOL! TRASH 'EM!" 

"Who…the…?" Rogue blinked. 

"Hey yo Roguey!" The boy called out. "Hey you got any thing to drink?" 

"Here you go Shipwreck…" Jean sighed as she brought in a coke. 

"SHIPWRECK?" Rogue's jaw dropped. 

"Yeah it's me," Shipwreck waved. "Cool! Coke!" He grabbed it from Jean and shook it a bit. It splattered all over the place, dousing Jean and Rogue as well. But Shipwreck didn't mind the splatter. "Ah shaken not stirred! Just the way I like it!"

"Oh yuck!" Rogue groaned. "Thanks a lot!" 

"Don't you have any manners at all?" Jean asked.

"Not really," Shipwreck chugged the soda down. 

"Cool! Soda!" Ororo skidded into the room. "I want some!" 

"Yeah I could go for a refill!" Shipwreck burped. "Get us some more will ya Jean? And maybe some chips this time too!"

"Yeah and some pretzels!" Ororo chimed in. 

"How about cookies?" Shipwreck asked her.

"Yeah!" Ororo said.

"Do I look like your maid or something?" Jean snapped.

"Well yeah," Ororo snickered. "Hey! Cool game! I wanna play!" 

"First we get the snacks," Shipwreck told her.

"Good plan," Ororo ran into the kitchen with Shipwreck behind her. "I can trash you later."

"Yeah right!" Shipwreck laughed as he ran after her.

"HEY!" Jean shouted after them. "No running in the…" Something crashed. "Hallway…" 

"Man this is so weird," Rogue grumbled.

"**You** think this is weird?" Althea entered the room with Todd and Forge. "Forge tell me now, are they going to be stuck like this?" 

"Good news," Forge said. "It's not permanent. In fact it'll wear off once they tire themselves out and have a good night's sleep. I think."

"YOU THINK!" Althea grabbed him by the shirt. "MY FATHER HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD KID AND YOU **THINK** IT'LL WEAR OFF? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I **THOUGHT** YOU NEEDED SOME LOOSE TEETH?" 

"Look at the bright side Al," Todd pointed out. "For once your Dad's acting his age." 

"You guys have got to see this…" Scott walked in. "They're in the kitchen and…you have to see this for yourself." 

They walked into the kitchen. The radio was blaring 'You Drive Me Crazy' by Brittany Spears. Shipwreck and Ororo were dancing around and eating at the same time. 

"Storm and Shipwreck are dancing and eating to Brittany Spears…" Tabitha blinked. "That is wrong on so many levels." 

"There's only one thing we can do," Todd shrugged. "Xi get the camera."

"You have a point," Althea sighed. "At least we can get some blackmail out of this!" 

************************************************************************

"I can't believe I fell for that stupid trick," Remy stormed into the house, soaking wet. "Stupid Shipwreck and his water balloons."

"Hey Remy!" Ororo flounced in. "What are you doing?"

"Planning a watery grave for Shipwreck," Remy growled.

"Aw, poor baby," Ororo put her arms around him. "You know you really are cute when you're wet." 

"Uh Storm…" Remy gulped. "What are you doing?" 

"That's what I wanna know!" Rogue walked in. 

"Just wanna give a kiss to my boyfriend," Ororo grinned. 

"YOUR BOYFRIEND?" Rogue shouted. 

"THIS IS NOT MY IDEA!" Remy shouted. 

"First she takes my clothes then she takes my boyfriend!" Rogue screamed. 

"Gotcha!" Ororo let go of Remy laughing. "That was so funny!" 

"What?" Rogue glared at her.

"Oh come on Rogue, like I'd ever really steal him from you," Ororo laughed holding her sides. "Remy you should have seen your face!"

"Ha, ha…" Remy growled.

"Come on it was just a joke," Ororo pouted.

"Jokes like that can get someone killed!" Remy said. "Namely me!" 

"Oh don't be such a stick in the mud," Ororo groaned. "I think I'll try it on Scott next!" She bounced out of the room. 

Forge, Todd and Althea walked in. "Have you seen either Storm or Shipwreck?" Forge asked. 

"Storm the teenage temptress was just in here," Rogue grumbled. "I don't care what she said, I don't believe it was a joke for a minute!" 

"Uh oh," Forge groaned. "I was right!" 

"What?" Remy asked. "Do I want to know?"

"The ray has one other…side effect," Forge cringed. "It kind of made their hormones a little…unstable." 

"Define 'unstable'," Rogue glared at him. 

"STORM GET YOUR HAND OFF MY BUTT!" Scott could be heard screaming.

"Does that answer your question?" Forge sighed. "They're gonna be a bit…flirtatious for the day."

"WONDERFUL! GREAT! JUST GREAT!" Althea shouted. "NOW MY FATHER IS GOING TO BE MORE HORMONAL THAN EVER!" 

"Oh my god!" Remy's jaw dropped. "Forge what have you done?" 

"SHIPWRECK I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" Jean could be heard shouting. 

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Remy shouted as they ran into the kitchen. 

In the kitchen Shipwreck had his arms around Jean and was hugging her tightly. Scott was hiding under the table. "Scott you can get up now!" Jean snapped. "She's chasing after Sam now! Now give me a hand here!" 

"How about a kiss?" Shipwreck raised his eyebrows. 

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME YOU CREEP!" Jean shouted.

"Oh god…" Althea groaned. "I don't believe this!"

"Yeah I thought Shipwreck would have better taste than that," Todd mused. 

"FORGE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!" Jean shouted as she shoved Shipwreck away from her.

"TAKE A NUMBER!" Althea shouted.

"HOLD IT! NO!" Scott got up and got between them. "You can't kill Forge! At least not until those two are back to normal! Or whatever passes for it." 

"Look all we gotta do is tire them out and let them get some sleep," Forge said. "How hard can that be?"

"Uh Forge…" Todd picked up several discarded candy bar wrappers and pixie sticks. "They ate all these didn't they?" 

"Okay…this might take all day," Forge gulped. 


	24. Shipwreck and Storm's Joyride

**Shipwreck and Storm's Joyride**

"Todd will you please stop having a belching contest with my father?" Althea groaned. "I know that's what you two normally do anyway but still…" 

The three of them were in the living room. "You're really a party pooper you know that?" Shipwreck folded his arms. 

Kurt then teleported in with Amanda. Both of them were wearing bathing suits but were bone dry. "I don't believe it!" Amanda groaned. 

"You don't believe it!" Kurt moaned. "Oh man I can't get that image out of my head! Help me please!" 

"What image?" Todd asked. 

"Storm…was swimming in the pool…" Kurt gasped. 

"What's so bad about that?" Todd asked.

"Without a swimsuit!" Kurt yelled. 

"Really?" Shipwreck perked his ears up. "Maybe I might take a swim!"

"You keep yourself put mister!" Althea shoved him back into his seat when he tried to get up. 

"Jean you are **so** overreacting," Ororo walked in wearing a shirt and a towel around her waist. Jean was right behind her.

"You were swimming naked in the pool and you think **I'm** over reacting?" Jean shouted. 

"What's the big deal?" Ororo looked at her. "There's nothing wrong with nudity. I mean back in Africa we swam naked all the time in the tribe I lived with."

"THIS IS NOT AFRICA!" Jean shouted. "And as long as you live in this mansion you will abide by the rules! What the hell did I just say?" She cringed. "Did I just turn into my mother?" 

"Does she have a hot body too?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Somebody hit him please?" Jean groaned. Althea whacked him upside the head. "Thank you." 

"Jean you are so totally behind the times," Ororo grabbed an apple and munched on it. 

"Your behind is going to be totaled if you don't watch it young lady!" Jean snapped. "Don't roll your eyes at me! Did I just say that? Oh god I am sounding exactly like my mother!" 

"Ooh! Give her a spanking!" Shipwreck shouted. "I'd love to see that!" Althea again whacked him on top of the head. "What? I'm just helping her out with the discipline around here!" 

"Oh she'll get help all right," Althea pounded her fist into the palm of her hand. 

"Okay this is not funny!" Bobby shouted as he and Scott walked into the kitchen. "Which one of you made it snow in my room?"

"Gee Iceman that's a tough call," Scott said sarcastically. "I mean the human or the mutant with weather control powers. Hmmmm? Who could it be?" 

"I was trying to give her a chance to confess," Bobby glared at Scott.

"Nice cover," Todd remarked. 

"Ororo I think maybe we need a little training session in the Danger Room," Scott told her.

"Oh man those sessions are so lame," Ororo groaned. 

"Well I think it's time you burnt off some of that extra energy," Scott folded his arms. 

"Why doesn't he have to train?" Ororo pointed at Shipwreck.

"Shipwreck doesn't have any powers," Bobby told her. "Duh!" 

"That may not be a bad idea though," Kurt said.

"Yeah the sooner we get them tired out the sooner these two will grow up," Todd pointed out. "Like Forge said. That reminds me, is he still up in that tree?" 

"Last time I checked," Amanda told him. 

"This stinks!" Ororo stomped upstairs. 

"Aw come on," Shipwreck hopped after her. "It'll be fun! I'll help you get changed!"

"You keep your hands to yourself mister!" Scott shouted. 

"You gotta love the irony of this situation," Todd snickered. 

"I'll love it even more when those two are back to their right ages!" Scott told him. 

Ten minutes later. "Storm will you hurry up!" Scott pounded on the door. "How long does it take for you to get changed? Storm?" He opened the door to her room. She was nowhere in sight. The window was open. "Storm?"

"Hey Summers! We can't find Shipwreck anywhere!" Todd hopped up to him. 

"Storm's gone too," Scott said. "She must have flown out the window!" 

"SCOTT YOU'D BETTER GET DOWN HERE!" Tabitha shouted.

They ran downstairs and out the open door. Tabitha pointed. They opened their mouths and gasped as they watched Shipwreck drive off in Scott's car. Ororo used her lightning to open up the gate. "This is not good is it?" Todd gulped. The other mutants ran up to see what had happened.

"What's going on?" Sam asked. 

"MY CAR!" Scott shouted. "The little punk stole my car!" 

"My credit cards!" Jean shouted. "STORM STOLE MY CREDIT CARDS!" 

"You have credit cards?" Tabitha looked at her. 

"For emergencies," Jean fumed. "I can't believe this!"

"Neither can I!" Bobby said. "I can't believe they went on a joyride and didn't take me!"

Everyone glared at Bobby. "Uh…Just kidding," He smiled nervously. 

"Well what are we waiting for?" Althea shouted. "Let's go after them before they do some real damage!"

"Forge you are so dead!" Jean fumed. 

"I know! I know!" Forge groaned.

************************************************************************

"YEEEEHA!" Shipwreck yelled. "To be young, riding fast in a hot car with an even hotter babe by my side!"

"Cool!" Ororo yelled as she blared on the radio. "HEY! BUDDY! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!" She created a gust of wind to blow an illegally parked car off the road and onto the sidewalk. "Now this is more like it!" Ororo laughed. "To the mall!" 

"You got it babe!" Shipwreck put his foot to the floor and tore down the street. He heard a siren. "Aw man! The cops!"

"No problem!" Ororo created a small snowstorm, which created a mini snow bank for the car to crash into. 

"Now that was cool," Shipwreck nodded. "Hang on!" 

He tore down the streets so fast and recklessly Mario Andretti would have been jealous. Cars swerved and crashed into each other to get out of his way. "HEY IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WAY I DRIVE GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!" Shipwreck shouted as several drivers vocally expressed their opinions. 

Meanwhile most of the mutants from the mansion had crowded into Jean's SUV. "Why did everyone pile up in my SUV?" Jean groaned as she drove. 

"Because we didn't want to be left behind with Xi and Forge," Todd remarked. "OW! Hey Elf! Get your fuzzy elbow out of my ear!" 

"Well you get your smelly foot out of my lap!" Kurt snapped.

"Actually that's my foot," Bobby remarked. "Sorry." 

"Okay whose hand is on my butt?" Tabitha snapped.

"Uh I think it's mine," Amanda said. 

"No your hand is over here under my knee," Althea said. 

"Well it's not mine!" Remy snapped. "My hands are trying to keep from being squashed by Sam over here."

"Oh well I guess I've got my hand…" Sam blushed.

"Oh never mind," Tabitha waved. "It's okay." 

"Will you guys quit fooling around back there?" Jean asked. 

"Well it's kind of hard not to with all of us crammed in here," Scott said. "We've got ten people in a car that can only hold six!" 

"Why didn't Xi come with us?" Sam asked.

"One, it's always good to leave someone behind in case we need bail," Todd remarked. "And B, we needed someone to make sure Forge stayed locked in the closet." 

"Oh man look at the road!" Rogue pointed. 

"I'd love to but I can't see the windows," Bobby groaned. 

"Well if you could you'd see nothing but trashed cars, fires caused by lightning and piles of snow everywhere," Scott told him.

"Man and I thought Kitty was a bad driver!" Bobby groaned.

"But where are they going?" Jean asked.

"Think Jean, they're two fifteen year olds with a hot car, a lot of spending money and an urge to show off," Tabitha said. 

"THE MALL!" Everyone shouted at the same time. 

"It's gonna end up trashed again, I know it," Rogue groaned. 


	25. Scenes From A Mall

**Scenes From a Mall**

"Geeze Stormy how many shoes do you need?" Shipwreck grumbled as he carried several bags. "This was not the type of fun I had in mind!" 

"You can never have too many shoes," Ororo sniffed. "Cool! An arcade! It's one of those dancing games where you dance on the game. Let's do it!"

"Oh goody," Shipwreck grumbled. 

"Oh come on, it'll be…HEY!" Ororo yelped as she was roughly shoved aside by someone. "Watch where you're going!"

"You watch where you're going," Duncan Matthews snapped. He was with three other of his football buddies. "Hey! You look like one of those mutant freaks over at the Xavier Institute."

"Yeah so?" Ororo put her hands on her hips.

"We don't like muties around our hangouts," One of the football players snarled. "Hit the road freak!" 

"And if I say no?" Ororo raised her eyebrow dangerously. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I say we'd teach your mutie hide a lesson," Duncan snarled.

"Pretty brave words coming from a guy who's just challenged a girl who can zap him with lightning," Shipwreck snickered.

"L-lightning?" Another football player blanched.

"Hey we're not scared of her!" Duncan snapped. "Or you. You a mutant too? Huh are you a freak? You want me to pound you shrimp?" He advanced on Shipwreck. 

"How about this Lughead," Shipwreck stood up to him even though Duncan was a lot taller now. "She may be a mutant, but I'm not. I'm just as human as you are. Let's see if you can take me on first, then we'll see if you're ready for the big leagues!" 

"Oh really? You some kind of mutie lover?" Duncan grabbed his shirt. 

"Got a problem with that?" Shipwreck growled. 

"Yeah and now, it's your problem," Duncan swung his fist but Shipwreck blocked it and managed to kick him in the stomach. 

"OW!" Duncan snarled.

"Let's dance pretty boy," Shipwreck grinned. 

************************************************************************

"Let's split up and spread out," Scott said. "They have got to be here somewhere!"

"I think we just found them," Althea pointed as a football player sailed along the ground. 

"Mommy that hurts…." He whined.

They ran over and saw a fifteen year old Shipwreck easily beating the stuffing out of Duncan Matthews and his buddies. Ororo was filing her nails and watching the action.

"Hi guys!" She waved. "Welcome to the show!" 

"Wow," Rogue blinked. "Even as a kid Shipwreck's a kick butt fighter."

"So that's where you get it," Remy looked at Althea. 

"Hey my uncle Al taught him how to fight when he was only six," Althea shrugged. "The whole family's filled with brawlers. Besides he still has his Joe training even if he is a kid now."

"You have a point," Scott smirked as Duncan sailed headfirst into a potted plant. 

"I'm amazed mall security hasn't shown up," Jean winced as she saw the damage.

"Well that's because Mr. Matthews insulted them just minutes before he decided to pick a fight with Shipwreck," Ororo grinned. "In fact he's been annoying them for a long time. Take a look for yourself." She pointed out the mall security guards calmly eating donuts and enjoying the fight." 

"Yeah well playtime's over," Jean sighed. "As much as I'd love for Shipwreck to continue beating the stuffing out of Duncan and his cronies it's time to go." 

"Yeah I don't think they want to play anymore anyway," Todd snickered at the unconscious bodies.

"I got a great idea," Shipwreck snickered. "Help me take 'em to their car."

"Why?" Remy asked.

"Just do it!" Ororo ordered. "I have a feeling this is gonna be good." 

They made their way to Duncan's car and put it in. Shipwreck turned on the car, rolled down the windows and turned on the radio. Then he took out a bottle from his back pocket and started to pour the contents down Duncan's throat. "What are you doing?" Jean yelled.

"Getting him arrested for drunk driving. What does it look like?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Where did you get that alcohol?" Althea snapped.

"From Charley's cabinet," Shipwreck grinned as he poured the liquid into another mouth. "I knew this would come in handy!" 

"You can't do that!" Kurt protested.

"Oh yeah like Duncan's never been driving while he was drunk before," Scott looked at him. 

"But will that do any good?" Amanda asked.

"Don't even have to drive in this state to get written up for drunk driving," Shipwreck snickered. "Trust me I know from experience." 

"This is wrong…" Kurt moaned.

"No Shipwreck is merely making Duncan's drunk driving a little more obvious,"  
Scott grinned. 

"Cyke you've been developing a real mean streak lately," Todd looked at him. "I like it." 

"Okay it's time to go now," Jean remarked.

"First the lady owes me a dance," Shipwreck grinned as they went back inside. 

"You're on!" Ororo laughed.

"Oh great!" Scott moaned. 

************************************************************************

"What took you guys so long?" Forge asked as they drove up the driveway hours later in the two cars.

"Well for starters Shipwreck got into a fight with Duncan and his goons," Scott sighed as he shut off the engine to his car.

"Cleaned the floor with 'em," Todd nodded.

"Then they dragged us around the arcade," Kurt moaned.

"Couldn't you bring them back?" Xi asked.

"Every time we tried to drag them away Storm threatened to fry us," Tabitha grumbled. "She even did a lightning display right in front of the hot dog stand. How reckless is that?"

"Said the pot to the kettle," Todd muttered under his breath. 

"I tried to drag her away from the shoe store and she created a gust of wind that blew me up unto the next floor," Bobby grumbled. 

"Of course if certain people hadn't insisted on buying shoes there as well we would have been back a lot sooner," Sam glared at Tabitha and Amanda.

"There was a sale okay?" Tabitha told him. "Sue me." 

"Hey look," Todd pointed to the two in the back seat. "They're out cold." 

"They should be," Althea produced a small dart. "I decided to speed up the process a little. One of my sister's knock out darts! Very handy for any occasion." 

"Good," Forge said. "While they sleep they should return to normal." 

"I just hope for your sake this works Forge," Althea said. "I got an idea. I think these two are in for a rude awakening. Xi you still have that footage we shot this morning?"

"Yup," Xi nodded. 

"Good," Althea grinned. 


	26. We Did WHAT?

**We Did WHAT? **

"Oh…my head…" Ororo moaned as she woke up. "Where…What?" She sat up and looked around. She was lying in bed wearing clothes that were slightly too tight for her, ripped and torn slightly at the seams. 

And Shipwreck was right next to her sound asleep.

"Oh no…" Thoughts of the worst thing that could have ever happened to her ran through her mind. "Nononononono…"

"Ugh what was I drinking?" Shipwreck moaned.

"This is not happening…" Ororo began to panic. "This is not happening!" 

"Well hello…." Shipwreck grinned when he saw who he was lying next to.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ororo screamed and leapt out of bed. She opened the door and found several X-Men and Misfits standing there. 

"Sleep well?" Tabitha snickered. 

"What happened last night!" Ororo asked in a panicked voice. 

"Let's just say you two weren't yourselves," Scott smiled as he folded his arms. "But it's nice to see you're back to normal."

"Back?" Shipwreck sat up. "What do you mean? And why the hell are my clothes so tight on me?" 

"You might want to get changed first into something more comfortable," Althea pointed at the clothes on the chair. 

"Yeah these jeans are killing me," Shipwreck grabbed his clothes and headed for the nearest bathroom.

"What happened to us?" Ororo asked.

"All will be revealed in the living room," Jean told her.

"Why do I have the feeling you children are enjoying this way too much?" Ororo growled. 

Ten minutes later they were all seated in the living room. "So what did happen?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Well you kinda got in the way of my latest experiment," Forge explained. "Don't you remember anything from yesterday?"

"Not really," Ororo said. "Uh how did we…?"

"End up in the same bed?" Althea grinned. "We put you two there after you guys passed out." 

"You mean we didn't…?" Ororo asked. Althea shook her head. "THANK GOD!" 

"So what did happen?" Shipwreck asked. "It's all a little fuzzy."

"I'm so glad you asked that," Scott grinned. He picked up a remote control. "Showtime!" He turned on the television. 

"Who are those people?" Shipwreck asked. "Those kids are making a mess! They're wrecking the kitchen!"

"Take a closer look," Tabitha instructed.

"That can't be…!" Ororo gasped.

"It is," Sam said. "Forge turned you both into teenagers for a day. But wait, it gets better!" There were scenes of a teenage Ororo hitting on Remy, Scott and Sam. A teenage Shipwreck chasing all the girls. Ororo using her powers to casually zap the boys and wreck the rooms. Shipwreck sliding down the banisters and many other insane happenings. 

"Oh my god…." Ororo turned red. "I have never been so humiliated in my entire life!" 

"I've had worse," Shipwreck shrugged. "Whoa!" There was a scene of a teenage Ororo swimming in the pool. Certain parts of her body were pixilated and covered. 

"Hey I thought we agreed we'd edit that part out!" Jean snapped.

"You agreed, we didn't," Todd snickered. "Aw come on we censored all the naughty stuff." 

"Oh my god!" Ororo hid her face in her hands. 

"Yeah and we didn't even get the good stuff like you and Shipwreck trashing Duncan at the mall," Althea said.

"Really?" Shipwreck asked.

"You clobbered him and his goons easily," Althea said. "Not to mention wrecking a few cop cars as well."

"You both stole my car for a little joyride," Scott explained.

"And my credit cards for a little shopping spree," Jean said.

"Hey since that stuff you bought doesn't fit you anymore can I have them?" Tabitha asked. 

"You guys are going to blackmail us with this tape if I say no aren't you?" Ororo moaned. "What makes you think….OH GOD NO!" She screamed as she saw her teenage self give Shipwreck a kiss. 

"Man! I got a kiss and I didn't even know it!" Shipwreck snapped his fingers.

"Okay how much are we talking here to make sure this goes away forever?" Ororo asked. 

"Well we're pretty reasonable…." Althea began when they heard the front door open. 

Immediately Ororo shut off the tape as the rest of the two teams entered the room. "Where have you been?" Hank asked her. "We tried to call you yesterday afternoon! Nobody was home."

"We went out," Tabitha said. "But what about you guys? The field trip was yesterday!" 

"You guys are just getting in now?" Scott asked. "What happened?" 

"It's a long story…" Low Light sighed.

**So what did happen at the museum? Why were they gone all night? Tune in next time to find out and meet some more surprise guest stars! **


	27. Museum Madness

**Museum Madness**

That Monday Xavier's group had gone to the museum in New York City. "Now everybody stay together and try not wreck anything will you?" Cover Girl sighed.

"Some of this stuff is already wrecked," Ray scoffed. "I mean who would actually pay money for some of this junk."

"This 'junk' as you call it is art you ignoramus," Roberto growled. 

"Please," Ray looked at him. "Have you seen the latest cover for REDMETAL? Their latest CD has the coolest picture of this chick with a guitar in one hand and a battle-ax in the other. Now that is art." 

"Give me a break!" Amara groaned.

"Better yet I'll give him one," Wanda remarked. 

"Look I want all of you to be on your best behavior!" Xavier warned.

"You mean like him?" Pietro pointed.

Hank was wearing a nice suit and was standing right next to a wealthy woman who looked like she would rather be anywhere at that moment than near him. Hank however pretended to take no notice of this. "Ah Vassily Kandinsky's 'Black Lines'," He lectured, mostly for his own amusement. "One of the enduring works of Expressionism that still resounds like a clear bell today. Notice how the bold strokes emphasize the pathos of the artist. His frustration with himself and society is clearly stated in this piece. Don't you agree?"

"Y-yes," The surprised woman stammered. 

"His determination to shake the viewer by the roots and let loose all the anger, frustration, and morbidity really shines through in this doesn't it?" Hank went on. "No wonder he inspired so many abstract expressionists of the Forties and Fifties. Not to mention graffiti artists anywhere." 

"Hey Lance didn't you once draw something like that on the Boy's bathroom back at our own high school?" Fred told him. 

"Yeah it looks a lot like that," Lance nodded. "Only I did it in red spraypaint." He looked at the shocked woman. "I was going through my angry period. The red represented my frustration with society and stuck up jerks that were in charge."

"That and it was the only color the store had left," Pietro remarked. 

"That too," Lance nodded. 

"Sometimes I wonder why I even try?" Xavier rolled his eyes. 

"Now you're sounding like Roadblock," Cover Girl told him.

"I wish I was with him doing reports right now," Xavier groaned. 

"Wow some of this art is really cool," Kitty said. She was standing with Peter.

"Da," Peter nodded. "Some of the greatest artists in the world were from Russia."

"More like con artists," Lance grumbled.

"Lance you promised you wouldn't start anything!" Kitty snapped.

"I'm not starting anything!" Lance told her. "It's him starting things that I'm worried about." 

"I will not start anything!" Peter snapped. "You are the one that always starts things!"

"I do not!" Lance snarled.

"Do so!" Peter snarled back. 

"Will you two knock it off for once?" Kitty snapped. "I told you I'm here with both of you today so please for once try to get along!"

"I wish he would get along," Lance said. "Get a long way from here."

"The feeling is mutual," Peter growled.

"Honestly why can't you two be civil to each other for one day?" Kitty groaned.

"Kitty this ain't the 'Bachellorette'," Wanda told her. 

"Yeah if you'd just make up your mind about those two we all wouldn't have to suffer!" Roberto told her as they moved on. 

The exchange was noted by three slightly older college freshmen. "Ah to be young in love and completely stupid," Mary Jane Watson shook her head. 

"Says the woman who used to date Flash Thompson," Her current boyfriend Peter Parker remarked. 

"Like I said, young and stupid," Mary Jane shrugged. "That and he had a cool car." 

"And I thought we had a strange relationship," Harry Osborn, Mary Jane's former boyfriend and Peter's best friend shook his head. "At least the three of us are still friends and mature enough to handle everything."

"Since when were you ever mature?" Mary Jane asked.

"Hey since I came into my trust fund I have gotten loads of maturity," Harry remarked. 

"Not to mention tons of dates by pretty girls," Mary Jane smirked.

"That too," Harry grinned. 

"There is something odd about those kids," Peter thought. 

"You're right," Harry nodded. "Hey I recognize that guy! The one in the wheelchair, he's Charles Xavier. You know that mutant activist." 

"Yeah," Peter said. "That must be some of his students he's with. He runs a school for mutants as well as some kind of hero group."

"Great just what we need," Harry muttered. 

"Oh come on Harry don't tell me you have a problem with mutants," Mary Jane looked at him.

"Let's just say my past experiences with folks with superpowers haven't exactly been positive," Harry said. "Like Spider Man. Remember?" 

"Actually I'm not sure Spider Man is a mutant," Peter said.

"Even if he was you can't judge a whole group of people by one guy," Mary Jane said. 

"I suppose you're right," Harry sighed. "Still…maybe we should move to another room. No sense in tempting fate." 

"Harry!" Mary Jane looked at him.

"Well you gotta admit from what you've seen on the news and in the papers trouble always seems to follow them around," Harry said. "I mean look at that guy over there! He looks like an escapee from Monsters Inc.! I can't believe they actually let that guy in here!" 

"Well why wouldn't it? It's a public place," Mary Jane glared at him. "Mutants have as much right to be here as anyone else." 

"I'm just saying…" Harry started to say when something droned him out.

Actually it was something in Peter's head that droned him out. It was a familiar alarm that rang off whenever danger was near. Although it wasn't as acute as it normally was, Peter Parker had learned that sometimes even the slightest thing amiss could be very important. _Okay something just sent my spider sense off…it's low level but…_Peter looked around and saw someone very familiar standing over by a nearby exhibit. A well dressed woman with black and purple hair. "Uh maybe we should move on like Harry said."

"Not you too Peter! Why…?" Mary Jane followed his gaze. "Oh…"

"Well isn't this a coincidence," Harry muttered. "My ex-girlfriend who ditched me without a reason is here as well." 

"That's Cheyenne isn't it?" Mary Jane looked at her. 

__

Also knows as Talon, super thief…Peter thought. Instead he said. "Yeah maybe we should go after all." 

"Uh you go ahead," Harry waved. "I just want to say hello." 

"Harry…" Peter held his arm.

"Don't worry Pete I'm a big boy," Harry looked at him. "I'll be right back." 

"I can't believe he would want to talk to her after the way she treated him," Mary Jane shook her head.

"Well guys are funny like that," Peter remarked. _That and the fact that he has no idea what she really does for a living. I mean she even tried to steal from Harry's own company! _

"Hmmm, hold on I need to use the ladies room," Mary Jane entered the restroom nearby.

"Well this is looking like an interesting visit," Peter sighed as he took some pictures. "I know Jamenson wants me to get some random shots of the museum for the new exhibits but I don't think this is what he had in mind. Whoa! Is that…?" 

A huge, heavy bald man dressed in a very dapper black suit and red shirt walked among the art. "Wilson Fisk also known as the Kingpin…?" Peter whispered to himself. "He's here too? Let's see, mutants, Talon and the Kingpin…This is not good. No wonder my spider sense is going nuts. Can things possibly get any worse?"

"Hey Peter look who I ran into in the bathroom," Mary Jane returned with a young woman with black hair in high gold ponytails and glasses. 

"Indy?" Peter blinked. It was the young TV reporter Indy Daimanji from the local station. She had a passion for not only making it as a reporter, but quite an interest in both Peter Parker and Spider Man. Peter had briefly dated her before realizing she was more interested in getting the story than him. 

"Hey Peter! Great to see ya!" Indy smiled. 

"What are you doing here?" Peter asked.

"Well I was assigned to do a human interest story on the museum's new exhibits which I was sure would be a total snoozefest," Indy rolled her eyes. "But now I see a great opportunity! I mean look at this, Professor Charles Xavier of the Xavier Institute and Wilson Fisk the philanthropist both in the same place at the same time! Now that is a story! I've got to interview at least one of them!" 

"Come on Peter let's go with her," Mary Jane said. "It will be fun!"

"You're kidding?" Peter looked at her.

"Peter I know you're kind of shy but this is a golden opportunity for you too!" Indy said. "You'll get some great pictures! It will be good for your career! Hey is that Harry Osborn! Great I can interview him too!" 

"Harry?" Mary Jane asked. "Why?"

"His corporation is the one that donated all these new artworks and antiquities to the museum," Indy said. "Didn't you know?"

"He didn't tell us," Mary Jane replied.

"Well you know Harry," Peter said. "He doesn't exactly like to act like a big shot too much around us." 

"Well like it or not he's news," Indy said. "Come on let's start with Professor Xavier!" 

"Sometimes I hate it when my spider sense is right," Peter grumbled to himself.

**Okay I took the situations based on the new MTV version of Spider Man for this fic. Fun huh? Yup Talon is a new character from the series as well. And so is Indy. Isn't this going to be fun! Oh yes…**


	28. An Unlikely Encounter

**An Unlikely Encounter**

"I can't believe we got stuck here at an art museum of all places," Low Light grumbled. "Look at this crap."

"It's art. Besides it'll do you good to try something new," Cover Girl remarked.

"I'd rather be fighting Cobras," Low Light grumbled. 

"I can't believe people actually pay big bucks for all this stuff," Fred scratched his head. 

"You're not the only one," Low Light sighed. "Oh great they're still at it." 

Of course he was referring to Lance, Peter and Kitty. "Okay now will you two listen to me and stop…Oops!" Kitty accidentally bumped into someone.

"Sorry about that," Peter Parker apologized. "I'm always bumping into things."

"No problem, it was like totally my fault," Kitty said. 

"I don't believe it," Harry walked up. "A girl admitting something is her fault! Well that's one for the record books. You're some of those mutant students from Xavier's aren't you?"

"You recognize us?" Kitty gulped.

"Hard not to, with you guys being on TV all the time," Harry grumbled. 

"Hi uh the name's Peter Parker," He put out his hand. "I go to Empire State University. This is Mary Jane Watson and the ray of sunshine there is Harry Osborn." 

"I just ran into a former girlfriend who told me to get lost," Harry looked at him. "Not exactly the best thing to put me in a good mood. No offense guys but I think I'm gonna go bail." He walked off. 

"Don't mind Harry," Mary Jane said. "He's usually in a better mood. So you guys are from the Xavier Institute right?"

"Well most of us are," Kitty fidgeted, feeling a little uncomfortable. 

"Some of us are with the army," Lance looked them over trying to decide whose side they were on. "It's sort of like a joint field trip."

"Wow that's really neat," Mary Jane said. 

"So you're not all freaked that we're mutants or anything?" Kitty asked tentatively.

"Please this is New York," Peter raised an eyebrow. "I've seen weirder. Believe me. Mutants aren't that big a deal." 

"It's a shame that not all people have that same sentiment," Professor Xavier wheeled up to them with Indy. "I'm Charles Xavier."

"Mary Jane Watson and Peter Parker," Mary Jane introduced them. 

"See you've cornered another victim?" Peter grinned at Indy. 

"Very funny Parker," Indy smirked. "He's also a photographer for the Daily Bugle."

"A freelance photographer," Peter corrected her. "Not exactly on salary or anything." 

"Still you are connected to the media," Mary Jane said. "And the Bugle does have a history of standing up for civil rights."

"Hey I thought you were the one who needed an agent, being a future actress and all," Peter looked at her.

"Well this is an interesting gathering," Wilson Fisk walked up to them. "Professor Charles Xavier I presume?"

"Yes and you are?" Xavier asked.

"Wilson Fisk," The large man shook his hand. "I presume you have heard of me."

"I've heard a lot of things," Xavier raised an eyebrow. 

"Well not even half of what my critics say are true," Fisk grinned. "However I think a man in your position knows how easy it is to be a target despite all one's good works." 

"Well I suppose people have different definitions of good works," Xavier grinned.

Lance had moved over to Low Light, Cover Girl and the rest of the Misfits that had come on the trip. "What's that all about?" Low Light asked him.

"Some media people hanging around and that philanthropist guy," Lance waved. "Getting kind of chummy." 

"Hmm, I don't think that the Professor ought to be talking to any reporters and I especially don't think he should be hanging around with the Kingpin," Low Light grumbled.

"The Kingpin?" Wanda asked.

"Rumor has it that Fisk is one of the biggest crime syndicate lords since Al Capone," Cover Girl explained. "And not just literally either. We intercepted some files Cobra had on him. They've had dealings with him but nothing that we can use in court." 

"Oh goody," Pietro remarked. "Just the PR mutants need!" 

"Do you think the Professor knows?" Fred asked.

"He reads minds Blob," Pietro said.

"Well not all the time," Fred told him.

"He's right," Low Light said. "We'd better make sure he knows exactly who he's dealing with before he gets himself into any trouble." 

"Too late," Wanda snickered as she pointed to a cameraman appearing. "I think he's already gotten cornered."


	29. An Interrupted Interview

**An Interrupted Interview**

"Okay where are the triplets?" Cover Girl sighed. 

"Still chasing Multiple in the modern art section," Hank told her. "We'd better go get them. I'll take Avalanche and Colossus as well. They need to be around people more mature than they are." 

Xavier was having a brief chat in front of the cameras with Indy. The X-Men were standing with their new friends Mary Jane and Peter while the Misfits were off looking for something to eat. "So did you get some good shots?" Mary Jane asked.

"Well I think so," Peter said. "I don't think Jamenson would pay very much for them but some head shots of Wilson Fisk and Professor Xavier together might be worth at least something." 

"Well I hope they are worth something," Kitty said. "Unless he's anything like your friend Harry." 

"I'm afraid in Harry's case he has some reasons not to like people who have powers," Peter Parker sighed. "His father tried out an experimental formula on himself which not only enhanced his strength and intelligence, it made him completely insane."

"Yeah and he got killed during a battle with Spider Man," Mary Jane sighed. 

"Who's Spider Man?" Amara asked.

"You're kidding?" Peter raised an eyebrow. "You've never heard of him?"

"Wait…I remember hearing something about this guy," Ray said. "He runs around fighting crime but he has the mutant abilities of a spider." 

"You mean there's another mutant running around out there we haven't heard about?" Kitty asked.

"Actually I don't think…" Peter began when a blast interrupted him. 

"WHAT THE…?" Kitty gasped when a silver blast streaked by. "That's not Quicksilver is it?" 

"No, it's Turbo Jet!" Mary Jane gasped. It was a young black man inside a large silver armor that was whizzing through the museum. "How did he get out of prison?" 

"Must be making a withdrawal," Peter groaned. "He has this habit of stealing expensive stuff!"

"Peter the last time he tried to steal that artifact from Harry's corporation!" Mary Jane said. "He must have heard about this exhibit with all the stuff his corporation donated!"

"And he's probably come to get some payback," Peter grumbled as he watched Turbo Jet steal several items as well as scatter the crowds. 

"Oh great…." Kitty groaned. "Why does stuff like this have to happen everywhere we go?" 

"I know the feeling," Peter groaned. 

**Next up: a battle in the museum where your friendly neighborhood Spider Man and our mutant buddies meet for the first time. Well the first time in my series anyway. **


	30. A Melee In the Museum

**A Melee in the Museum**

Turbo Jet fired off a laser from one of his arm wrists as he held onto a very valuable crown. However Pietro swiped it from him. "Oh no, this doesn't suit you at all," Pietro put the crown on his head. "However it looks perfect on me!" 

"Give that back you little…" Turbo Jet snarled as he advanced on Pietro, but Pietro was faster than his suit. "Creep?"

"Gotta catch me first!" Pietro stuck his tongue out.

"That's it boy! You are going down!" Turbo Jet snarled as he charged at Pietro.

At the first sign of trouble Kitty grabbed Peter and Mary Jane's arms and phased them outside the building. "Whoa! How'd we end up out here?" Mary Jane gasped.

"It's what I do," Kitty explained. "Stay out here! You'll be safe!" Kitty phased back in. 

"What about you?" Mary Jane called to empty air. 

"I'm going back in!" Peter ran off inside. "Gotta get the photos!"

"PETER!" Mary Jane yelled.

Back inside the fight was going on full force. "Come on slowpoke!" Pietro laughed as he dodged Turbo Jet's blast. "I thought you were supposed to be fast? You're pathetic!" 

However he was too wrapped up in himself to notice that the blast was a distraction. Turbo managed to hit him hard in the face. "Now who's pathetic?" Turbo Jet growled.

"Well I dunno you look pretty stupid in that space suit!" Ray shouted as he shot out electric bolts. 

"That's all you got?" Turbo Jet grinned as the bolts harmlessly hit his outfit. "This baby's got new modifications. It can not only take it…" He sent the bolts right at the mutants. "It can dish it out!" 

"Oh yeah?" Amara created a ball of fire with her hand. "Let's see you dish this out!"

"Amara no!" Hank shouted. "You might set the museum on fire!" 

"Listen to the furry man, fire girl," Turbo Jet shot a laser at her. "Why don't you be a good girl and stay down!"

A shot of webbing latched onto his laser, blocking it. "What the…?" Turbo Jet gasped.

"I got a better idea Turbo," Spider Man crawled down from the ceiling. "Why don't you stop picking on little girls and try something your own size?"

"Like you Spider Freak?" Turbo blasted at him with his free laser. 

"That's Spider **Man**," Spider Man quipped as he dodged the blasts. "Can't anybody get my name right in this town? I have got to get a new agent!" 

"Wanda use your hex blasts to stop him!" Low Light shouted.

Turbo however was too fast for her to hex. "I don't know what that does but I am not sticking around to find out," Turbo growled. 

"Come on Turbo," Spider Man shot a web onto him. "Stick around and meet some new people." 

"Coming through!" Fred rushed at Turbo intending to body slam him.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Turbo Jet snapped as he broke free of the webbing and easily dodged Fred. He used a sonic boom to not only move past him, but to wreck the walls of the museum. "I have to go but you can stick around a while!" He shot a laser straight into the ceiling above Indy, Xavier and Fisk. 

"Oh no you don't!" Spider Man used his webbing to stop most of the debris from hitting them. 

Turbo Jet used this opportunity to try and leave. "Going somewhere?" Lance growled. He sent a shockwave straight at him. It knocked Turbo Jet to the side but he was able to use his suit to recover. However the shockwave also opened a huge hole in the wall. "Thanks kid!" Turbo Jet laughed as he took off.

"Way to go Avalanche!" Roberto snapped.

"Well I didn't see you do anything!" Lance told him. 

"Uh could somebody give me a hand here?" Spider Man was holding onto a pillar that was going to fall. "I mean spider strength only goes so far here!"

"Sure!" Fred shouted. He and Peter helped Spider Man hold it up as he used his webbing to secure it.

"Never thought I'd be glad to see Spider Man around," Fisk groaned. 

"Well so long kiddies," Spider Man leapt up and went on his way.

"Wait a minute!" Kitty called out. "Where are you going? Wait!" 

"Love to stay and chat but the bad guy just left the building," Spider Man said. "Toodles!" And he swung away.

"So that's Spider Man huh?" Ray remarked. "Weird."

"Yeah but he's gotta be a mutant! Come on! We gotta go after him!" Kitty said.

"I'm one step ahead of you Kit-Kat," Pietro smirked. He had recovered and ran after him.

"PIETRO COME BACK HERE! WE SAW HIM FIRST!" Kitty stomped her foot.

"You did not!" Fred told her.

"Oh dear…" Hank sighed. 

"Well this is going to be an interesting afternoon," Xavier remarked. He looked around and saw all the damage. "Not to mention expensive." 


	31. A Conversation With Your Friendly Neighb...

**A Conversation with Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider Man**

Spider Man looked around from on top of a nearby building. He couldn't find Turbo Jet anywhere. "Great. I lost him."

"Yeah it's real hard to keep track of us speedy guys huh?" Pietro sped up next to him and stopped on a roof looking down. 

"What in the world…?" Spider Man jumped and landed on another wall. "Where did you come from?"

"Well mommy once told me that I came from heaven," Pietro quipped. 

"More like someplace else a lot warmer," Roberto flew up next to Spider Man. 

"New York just got a whole lot weirder," Spider Man remarked. "What are you kids doing here?"

"We just wanna talk," Roberto said. "I'm Sunspot and Mr. Charming over there is Quicksilver."

"Let me take a wild guess…you're mutants right?" Spider Man asked sarcastically.

"Gee how'd you ever figure that out?" Pietro smirked. "Come on we just want to you meet our friends and talk to us for a minute!"

"Well okay…but someplace a little less conspicuous," Spider Man looked around. 

"Fine follow me," Roberto grinned. "If you can keep up."

"Hello, there's a reason people call me the web slinger…" Spider Man told him as he effortlessly followed him to another rooftop where he saw the rest of the X-Men and Misfits that were at the museum. "I know who you are. You're Charles Xavier." 

"Yes I am," Xavier nodded. "Let me introduce my associates." 

As Xavier introduced the people Xavier could sense Spider Man's uneasiness. "Don't worry," Xavier waved. "I won't read your mind. Your identity is safe." 

"Well that's a relief," Spider Man sighed. "Nothing personal but what good is a secret identity if you can't keep it a secret?" 

"You shouldn't be like that though," Ray said.

"Yeah we're mutants too," Lance said. "We can keep a secret." 

"Actually I'm not a mutant," Spider Man told them. 

"Then how are you able to do all that stuff?" Roberto asked. "Climb walls and fight and everything?" 

"I got bit by a radioactive spider," He told him.

"Fine don't tell us," Roberto fumed.

"I'm serious," Spider Man said. 

"Really?" Kitty looked at him. 

"It was a lab accident," Spider Man said. "Long story." 

"So who's the guy in the Moon Man outfit?" Lance asked.

"His name's Turbo Jet," Spider Man explained. "He's got issues." 

"I'll say," Kitty said. "I wonder what he was after?"

"Probably just robbing the place for some quick cash," Spider Man told them. "It's what he does. And unfortunately he wasn't the only crook there. There was also a lady thief named Talon and Wilson Fisk."

"Fisk? That handsome rich guy?" Fred scratched his head.

"He's also known as the Kingpin in crime circles," Low Light explained. "The philanthropy is a cover." 

"Oh great just what we need," Pietro rolled his eyes. "Another super villain running around!" 

"Something tells me that Turbo Jet and Talon will strike again," Spider Man told them. "I don't know if Fisk is involved as well or it's just another coincidence."

"Bet you anything it isn't," Low Light said.

"But what are they after?" Kitty asked.

"Who knows? Maybe they want to add to their modern art collection?" Fred guessed.

"I doubt it," Spider Man said. 

"So do I," Xavier narrowed. "Something tells me we'd better stick around New York for a little longer."

"Yeah better call the Institute and tell them we're going to be late," Hank nodded. 

"Look I appreciate the help…" Spider Man began to say.

"No problem!" Fred waved.

"We do this stuff all the time," Ray said.

"Look we should all meet at the museum later tonight after it closes," Amara suggested. "I mean that's the time when the bad guys usually pick to rob museums."

"Couldn't hurt," Spider Man sighed, resigned to the fact that he had a bunch of 'helpers' with him. "See you tonight and oh Avalanche…this time, don't make a door for him to get away huh?" 

"Well this made my life very interesting," Spider Man muttered as he swung away. "As if I didn't have enough going on. At least things with Mary Jane are going…" 

It then hit him that he left his girlfriend behind at the museum. 

"Oh great! Mary Jane!" Spider Man raced off back to his alter ego's life. 


	32. Orders Fron J Jonah Jamenson

**Orders From J. Jonah Jamenson**

Needless to say Mary Jane was not very happy about Peter Parker running off like he did even though it was his job to be a photographer. Indy wasn't happy that Peter disappeared during the action. His Aunt May called and yelled at him for putting himself in danger for taking even more pictures of 'that awful Spider Man'. (Apparently she had heard all about it from Mary Jane's aunt whom Mary Jane had confided in.) Harry was downright miserable but most likely not with him but since Peter was the only target around of course he would crab about it to him. Ironically the only person relatively happy was the one person who was never happy with him. 

"Great shots! Great shots! For once Parker you've earned your Twenty Five dollars a shot!" J. Jonah Jamenson, editor of the Daily Bugle crowed.

"I thought it was now 30 dollars a shot sir?" Peter asked.

"Don't interrupt me," Jamenson snapped. "I don't know how you do it, but you did it."

Early in his career Peter had learned the art of sticking his camera in the right spot where it wouldn't be noticed, holding it with webbing and setting it on a timer as it took shots as he fought for his life. "Just a little something I picked up, sir." 

"Mutants are big news!" Jamenson shouted. "Okay this shot with Fisk and Xavier is a little lame, but usable. Give the society pages something for their files. But these mutants fighting Turbo is great stuff! Great stuff! Even if they are taking the law into their own hands. But you did say they were working with some army folks right?"

"Uh yeah G.I. Joe but I don't think all of them were…"

"Close enough," Jamenson waved. "Okay Parker normally I wouldn't do this but with all the fighting in the Middle East, the Yankees creaming the Red Sox again and all the other stuff going on in this city all my real reporters are to busy to pick up the slack! One thing about this town, never a slow news day! Sometimes that's not a good thing. I even have to do an interview myself of Senator Kelly. He's an up and coming rising star in politics. I can see it now. 'The Inside Story on Senator Edward Kelly' by J. Jonah Jamenson. What do you think?"

"Well it'll be a change on your usual ranting about Spider Man sir," Peter said it before he thought.

"Who asked you? But you may have a point," Jamenson frowned. "Spider Man is old news. Yesterday's trash. We need something new and fresh. And that's where you come in Parker! I want to find out the inside scoop on the Xavier Institute and you're going to get it for me!"

"Me sir?" Peter gasped. "But I'm just a photographer. I'm not a reporter." 

"Do you know the difference between you and a reporter Parker?" Jamenson asked.

"Uh…I have a camera and I'm cheaper?" Peter asked. 

"You learn fast kid," Jamenson chomped on his cigar. "Now go get me that story!" 


	33. More Bad Guys Plotting

**More Bad Guys Plotting**

"Calm down Talon," Turbo Jet said to Talon in an abandoned warehouse where he was hiding. "If anyone should be upset it would be me." 

"Upset? Upset is not the word for what I am feeling!" Talon snapped.

"Chill out. You're too hyper. We'll get the target soon enough. This afternoon was just a trial run for tonight." 

"You had to ruin it with that stunt of yours didn't you?" Talon snapped. "Now not only Spider Man will be on guard but that group of mutants as well!" 

"Relax my dear Talon," Fisk entered the warehouse. "I ordered Turbo Jet to attack the museum so it's really not his fault."

"Why?" Talon asked. 

"Simple," Turbo Jet folded his arms. "He wanted an alibi in case I pulled it off and if I didn't he'd still be in the clear." 

"Precisely," Kingpin nodded. "Of course our real target was not even in that room. It was only a diversion. Besides I heard about these mutants and I wanted to test their powers for myself. It was quite interesting."

"Yeah well as interesting as it was how much you want to bet that now both mutants and Spider Man are gonna team up to stop us?" Talon asked. "There's no way we're gonna get that parchment for your fancy pants client now! There's too many of them." 

"I am aware of that little complication," Fisk pressed a button. "Which is why I brought in some back up for you." 

Talon's eyes widened when she saw the figures enter the room. "Whoa…"

"Yes I believe this will be sufficient enough to stop even the great Spider Man and his amazing friends," Fisk grinned.

**What is the Kingpin after? Who are these backup people he brought in? What will happen next? Coming soon, more guest stars than you can shake a stick at! **


	34. So What's The Plan Again?

**So What's The Plan Again?**

"Thank you again for allowing us to stay at your home while we sort things out," Xavier thanked his host.

"No problem," Warren Worthington the Third nodded. He winced as something broke. "Uh you're only going to be here a few hours right?" 

"Children please behave!" Xavier shouted.

"Uh that was me actually," Low Light apologized. "Sorry about that. Trying to catch the kids."

Jamie and his clones ran by screaming, being chased by Trinity. "HELP ME!" 

"Come on you know you love it!" Brittany shouted.

"You can't fight destiny!" Daria shouted.

"Kissy! Kissy!" Quinn called out. 

"Listen Rock Head, I am sick of you hogging Kitty!" Peter shouted. 

"What are you gonna do about it?" Lance shouted back. "Come on! I dare ya!" 

"Both of you knock it off!" Kitty was between them, trying unsuccessfully to stop the fight. 

"DRAKE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ICED THE BATHROOM!" Ray shouted.

Warren looked at Xavier. "Could you explain again to me the reasons why you think I should teach at the Institute?" 

"Right now I've forgotten while **I'm **teaching there," Xavier sighed as the triplets chased Jamie some more. He looked up at Hank. "Any luck?" 

"I kept trying the phone but for some reason no one is answering," Hank grumbled. 

************************************************************************

Fast forward to Tuesday morning at the mansion in the living room.

"Wait a minute," Scott said. "We left Xi and Forge behind. Why didn't either of you guys answer the phone?" 

"Well…" Forge glared at Xi.

************************************************************************

Reverse back to the mansion on Monday afternoon when everyone else was at the mall:

"XI LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Forge pounded on the hall closet door. "LET ME OUT! COME ON I SAID I WAS SORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE MESS! WHEN ALTHEA TOLD YOU I OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE IT LITERALLY! COME ON LET ME OUT!" 

Xi however was in the kitchen ignoring the racket, happily munching on cookies while dancing around. _"Can you move it like this? I can shake it like that!" _Xi sang as he bopped around to the Baha Men video on the television. 

"XI THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY YOU INSANE GENDERLESS PSYCHO!" Forge screamed. "THIS IS DEFINITELY UNCOOL! AND WHO MAKES CLOSET DOORS OUT OF ADAMANTIUM ANYWAY? LET ME OUT OF HERE!" 

"Shake! Shake!" Xi danced on the table scarfing down the cookies. He had the volume turned all the way up so that he wouldn't hear Forge's pounding or the phone ringing. 

"AT LEAST TURN OFF THE MUSIC AND ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!" Forge screamed. "XI!" 

************************************************************************

And fast forward again to Tuesday morning at the mansion: 

"So that's what happened to all the cookies," Kurt said. 

"Not to mention why there's scuff marks all over the table," Rogue remarked. 

"Yeah and Forge it was your idea to line that closet door out of adamantium," Sam reminded Forge.

"Don't remind me!" Forge groaned. "I forgot about it at the time, okay?" 

"Yeah that's another one of your ideas that blew up in your face," Bobby said. 

"Why would you do that?" Amanda asked. "Line that closet door with adamantium?" 

"It's a funny story really," Tabitha said. "You see…"

"We'll tell you later," Scott interrupted. "Can we get back to what happened with you guys in New York?"

"Oh yeah right…" Hank scratched his head. "Well if I recall…" 

************************************************************************

Reverse back to Monday night at the museum. 

"How did I let you talk me into this again?" Warren looked at Hank. He was wearing his Angel costume and they were staked out on the roof of the museum. 

"You did say anything to get the kids out of your apartment," Hank reminded him. 

"Uh the kid that makes copies of himself and those girls are in the van right?" Warren asked.

"Yes, Low Light and Cover Girl are with the Professor watching out for them," Hank nodded.

"Oh so we have the easy job, good," Warren nodded. He clicked on his walkie-talkie. "We're on the roof. Nothing yet."

"Yeah it's all quiet in here," Kitty said. They were inside the museum wearing their uniforms. "Good thing we had spare uniforms in the van." 

"Yeah and it's a good thing we're not **in **the van with Trinity and Multiple," Lance snickered. 

"You're gonna wish you were in a second," Someone said. Two figures burst out from a nearby wall. 

"I think we found them," Pietro gulped. 

"Hey that's not Turbo Jet," Ray said. Standing there were two huge men. One was wearing a huge gray rhino costume with only his face exposed. The other was wearing a large green suit with a scorpion tail attached to it.

"Well what have we here?" The Green guy snickered. "Some little freaks come to play."

"Said the pot to the kettle," Wanda growled. 

"Who are these guys?" Lance asked.

"That's Rhino and Scorpion," Spider Man told him.

"Mutants?" Ray asked.

"Henchmen with special powered suits bonded to their skin," Spider Man said. "Rhino's super strong. Scorpion super strong, very fast…" He dodged a shot of venom. "And a tail that shoots venom." 

"Oh goody," Pietro groaned. "Just what we need. Two super enhanced losers."

"Three losers pal," Another figure in a yellow and brown outfit appeared. 

"Shocker!" Spider Man gasped. "Oh great!" 

"What does he do?" Lance asked.

"Actually you and I have something in common," Shocker snapped as he sent some shockwaves at them.

"This guy's ripping off my powers!" Lance yelled as the ground shook.

"Is he a…?" Ray asked again.

"No he's another guy in a special suit," Spider Man told him. 

"No wonder mutants are getting such a bad name," Ray grumbled. "Regular guys in suits are stealing all the spotlight." 

"Speaking of the spotlight! Ta da!" Something flew by on some kind of glider. "Hello boys and girls!" Standing on the glider was a person in a hideous mask wearing an orange and blue outfit that looked more at home in Middle Earth than in modern day New York. "The party has arrived!" 

"Who's **this** guy?" Ray shouted. 

"The Hobgoblin," Spider Man groaned. "Another guy in a suit with a lot of gadgets and a lot of bombs!" 

"Did you say bombs?" Lance blinked. 

"Yup, bombs!" Spider Man yelled as Hobgoblin threw several explosions. 

"Great a flying gargoyle version of Boom Boom!" Kitty grumbled as she dodged them. 

"Are there **any **mutants in this town or is it just us?" Ray shouted. 

"Well…" A figure sparked out of the shadows. "Technically I suppose I could be considered a mutant, even though I got my powers by accident." An electric blast shot out at them and they barely dodged it. 

"Bout time you showed up Electro," Shocker grinned at a man with a silver and blue costume cracking with electricity. 

"Electro?" Pietro gulped. "As in electric powers?" 

"This is really not good," Hank gulped. 

"What **is** this?" Spider Man groaned. "A freaking convention?" 

"Yeah the first annual 'Let's Squash Spider Man' Convention," Scorpion laughed.

"Gentlemen," Hobgoblin grinned. "Let's get this meeting started shall we?" 

**Next up: A big ol' battle! Whoo Hoo! **


	35. Tag Team Takedown

**Tag Team Takedown**

"For the last time STAY IN THE VAN!" Low Light shouted as he tried to hold the van doors shut.

"But we wanna help!" Jamie shouted. He and the Triplets were inside.

"No way! You're too young!" Cover Girl shouted as she tried to hold the doors shut as well. "I hope whatever's going on inside the museum isn't as dangerous as us keeping the lid on these kids!" 

An explosion rocked the building. "Does that answer your question?" Low Light groaned. 

"It seems that they have run into more resistance than expected," Xavier frowned.

************************************************************************

"Well this is just great!" Spider Man hopped around dodging Scorpion's venom blasts and Hobgoblin's bombs. "How much worse can this get?" 

A loud thud echoed as Rhino whacked Colossus against the wall. He fell to the ground unconscious. "Pathetic!" Rhino snickered.

"I had to ask," Spider Man groaned. 

"Oh yeah?" Fred charged. "Try me on for size you reject from 'Death to Smoochy'!" 

"I HATE THAT MOVIE!" Rhino shouted. "It's degrading to rhinos everywhere!" He charged at Fred and soon the two of them were locked in combat. 

"Hold still!" Wanda tried to hex bolt the Hobgoblin's craft as he flew circles around Angel. 

"Take a nap kiddies!" Hobgoblin cackled as he flew and threw a pumpkin bomb that contained knock out gas. It got Wanda and she fell to the ground. "Ding! Dong the Witch is dead! Oh no wait, she's just sleeping. But not for long! HAHAHAHAHA!" 

Meanwhile Ray and Electro were using their electric powers on each other. "Not bad kid," Electro grinned as he made a huge final burst. "BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" His electric attack was much stronger than Ray's and he was knocked out as well. 

"This is not going well," Hank gulped. He saw Shocker and Lance's tremors wreck more of the museum. "And there goes another wall." 

"That Electro guy's attack was stronger than Berserker's!" Amara yelled. "Yikes!" She barely dodged another bomb. 

"Okay we need a new attack plan and we need one now!" Spider Man shouted. "I could use some help here!" 

"There's no one to help you Spider Jerk!" Scorpion laughed. "What's that smell? Smells like something's…." He looked at his tail. It was on fire. "BURNING? FIRE! HELP! FIRE! FIRE!" He ran around wildly. 

"That movie proved how lousy an actor Robin Williams is," Rhino snarled in Fred's face.

"NOBODY INSULTS ROBIN WILLIAMS AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" Fred used his strength to smash Rhino into a wall. 

"You won't beat me you little…" Shocker prepared to throw another tremor at Lance. "Huh?" He noticed his feet were stuck in the floor, thanks to Kitty. "HEY!" he used his powers to break his feet loose. However as he looked up he noticed Lance coming at him too late. "Uh oh…"

Lance punched him hard on the jaw, knocking him out. "Did you see Kitty? I…" He looked and saw Kitty attending to Peter. "Figures…" 

"Oh no you don't!" Hobgoblin threw even more bombs at them.

"How many bombs does this guy have?" Roberto shouted. "Now I'm burning up!" He used his stored solar energy to fly. However he soon ran out. "Aw man I'm out of juice!" 

"Gotcha!" Spider Man swung by and grabbed him. 

"FIRE! FIRE!" Scorpion ran around wildly. "PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" 

"Well since you asked so nicely…" Pietro snickered as he used his super speed to create a huge vortex cone around him. 

"I'M STILL ON FIRE!" Scorpion screamed as he spun around. "AND NOW I'M GONNA HURL!" 

"Oh shut up you big crybaby!" Hobgoblin snapped. Then he noticed that Spider Man had snared his glider and was riding behind it. "HEY! No hitchhikers!" 

"Okay," Spider Man used more of his webbing to stuff up the engines.

"Oh rats," Hobgoblin muttered as his glider started to crash. "I **hate **it when he does that!" 

"Way to go Web Head!" Lance shouted. 

"SOMEBODY STOP MEEEEEEEEEEE!" Scorpion screamed. Then a telekinetic blast knocked him out of the vortex and into a wall. "Ow…" 

"Well at least you're not on fire anymore," Hobgoblin looked at him. He had managed to avoid the crash by jumping off the glider at the last possible second and landing on a dinosaur skeleton. Then the skeleton turned its massive head. "Okay this is not good!" 

"This is fun!" Trinity laughed as they flew in, manipulating the dinosaur so it tried to bite Hobgoblin.

"What the…?" Rhino shook his head and was immediately tackled by a herd of Jamies. "HEY! GET 'EM OFF OF ME!" 

"Sorry, they got loose," Low Light puffed as he and the others entered the building. 

"We came to help!" Trinity cheerfully chirped.

"Oh great," Spider Man groaned.

"GET THEM OFF ME!" Rhino tried to throw off the army of Jamie clones all over him. 

Meanwhile the dinosaur tried to chomp on Hobgoblin had been obliterated by a well-aimed bomb in the mouth. "Looks like he ate something that didn't agree with him," He cackled. 

"Yeah," Shocker got up. "Now let's all rock this place!"

"Hey that's my line!" Lance snapped. 

"Uh oh…" Spider Man noticed they were all awake. "Round two!"

"Not this time," Xavier put his hands to his head. Soon all the villains were unconscious. 

"What did you do?" Spider Man asked.

"I used a telepathic blast to knock them unconscious," Xavier told him. 

"YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT IN THE BEGINNING?" Spider Man yelled. "It would have saved us all a lot of time!" 

"Not to mention a lot of damage," Hank looked around. "We are definitely not going to be invited back here I can tell you that." 

"Just what we need," Pietro rolled his eyes. "Another place we're banned from." 

"Okay so where are Talon and Turbo Jet?" Spider Man looked around. "They've got to be around here somewhere?"

"Ugh…" Wanda was waking up along with the others. "Did we win?" 

"Yes and no," Hank told her. "We beat them but we haven't found either Turbo Jet or Talon."

"I think I've sensed their location…" Xavier put his hand to his head. "They're in the museum and they have what they were really after."

************************************************************************

"This was the easiest job I ever pulled," Talon smirked as she put the parchment from ancient Egypt into her pouch. "Thanks to those morons fighting."

"Now let's get blow this stand," Turbo nodded.

"Let's not shall we?" Spider Man shot some webbing at him. 

"You?" Turbo Jet snapped as he broke the webbing. He saw the mutants coming at them. "Oh great! Looks like our 'backup' failed!"

"Figures," Talon pulled out a smoke bomb. "Turbo! I need a ride!" The smoke bomb went off just as she jumped on his back. Soon under the cover of the smoke and using Turbo Jet's speed they escaped. 

"Great we lost them," Lance grumbled as the smoke cleared. 

"Not exactly…" Spider Man told him. "I do have one other trick up my spider sleeve…" 


	36. Wrapping Up Another Case

**Wrapping Up Another Case**

"There you are," Talon showed the man the parchment. "Right here." They were in an abandoned warehouse. 

Sebastian Shaw grinned. "Very impressive. I must admit I was a little skeptical when the Kingpin recommended you two but you have done a fine job." He nodded to the woman next to him. She had black hair and was wearing a black leather outfit. She opened up a suitcase filled with money. "And as you can see, I always reward those who do an excellent job." 

"Not bad," Turbo Jet fingered the money. "Hey what's she doing?" He pointed at the woman who was using some kind of scanner to record the parchment's image." 

"Sage here is getting what I need," Shaw told him. 

"Scan complete," She informed him in a monotone. 

"Excellent," He handed Talon the parchment. "Consider this a bonus."

"Wait, you hired us to steal this and now you don't want it anymore?" Talon asked. 

"I only needed the image," Shaw told him. "You can do with the parchment whatever you like. I think I must be going," Shaw made his way out with the woman.

"Weird," Turbo Jet muttered as they disappeared into the darkness. "So now what?"

"Hey I figure this little baby might be worth something to somebody," Talon shrugged. 

"Yeah I'd say it's worth about five to ten for you guys," Pietro zipped by grabbing it.

"What the…?" Talon shouted. She saw Spider Man and the mutants enter the building. "How did you find us?" 

"Little thing called a Spider Tracer," Spider Man grinned underneath his mask. 

"And this is a little thing called a…" Turbo Jet began to move when suddenly a psychic blast by Trinity knocked him out cold. 

"Told you we could help," Daria sniffed. 

Talon was about to leave when she was caught in Spider Man's web. "Going somewhere?" He asked. 

"Well another case wrapped up," Pietro quipped. 

"Hey we got back the rare artifact!" Lance cried out happily.

"Yeah and we only wrecked about a dozen other rare artifacts to get them," Spider Man said sarcastically.

"Oops," Fred gulped. 


	37. Some Not So Friendly Warnings

**Some Not So Friendly Warnings**

Fisk was sitting at his desk in his office when his secretary buzzed in Charles Xavier. "Ah Mr. Xavier, how good of you to come. I was hoping to talk some more with you."

"You won't after you hear what I have to say," Xavier told him. "Turbo Jet and Talon along with your other hired hands have been captured. And the parchment is safely back at the museum where it belongs."

"Well I'm glad to hear that those criminals have been brought to justice but I don't know what that has to do with me. I am a legitimate businessman who represents…" 

"Mr. Fisk I am well aware exactly what you represent," Xavier interrupted him. "And I am warning you now that if you plan to involve any of my students, friends or any other mutants in your future criminal schemes or activities Spider Man will be the least of your problems." 

"Oh really?" Fisk looked amused. "Did these individuals you apprehend say anything about me?"

"You know very well they didn't," Xavier frowned.

"Well then you don't have any real proof that I was involved in this do you? Too bad you can't read my mind," The Kingpin pointed at a spot on his head. "These little gadgets Cobra created to block telepathic thoughts are a marvel aren't they? I mean you can barely see them with a little makeup. It was a gift by the way from a friend who was interested in it for purely scientific reasons." 

"Even so…" Xavier told him in a warning tone. "Do not get involved with either the X-Men or the Misfits if you can help it in the future. It might lead to…complications. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," Fisk glared at him. "But let me warn you. It might be beneficial for you and your students if you gave **my **associates and me a wide berth. I mean mutants have enough publicity problems as it is. You don't really want to get involved in a war you probably won't win. A war that would be pointless and easily avoided." 

"Besides," Fisk walked around the desk. "You aren't exactly the only mutants in town now are you? You've met Miss Frost. I'd consider her offer. She is a very generous and reasonable woman, when she can afford to be." 

"Really?" Xavier raised his eyebrow. 

"Well it's not like you already haven't figured it out," Fisk said. "I mean after reading Turbo's mind which I assume you have you would know who the buyer for the artifact was. Oh…I see that you didn't. Very admirable of you Professor. I admire a man with restraint. I must admit if I had your talents I wouldn't be so…hesitant. However I've learned to read people at an early age. You don't need telepathy to learn what motivates a man."

"And what motivates you Fisk?" Xavier asked. "Or do I really want to know?"

"Surprisingly enough it's something I have in common with your people," Fisk took out a canter of brandy and started to pour himself a glass. "Evolution. In my case the desire to become something from something else. A transformation from what I was, into the man I am today. Unlike you I wasn't born with gifts or talents or money. I earned them. I earned every single power and ounce of control with sweat, and work and planning and sacrifices. Everything I am and have I created from myself. And that is why I will fight tooth and nail to protect what I have at any cost." 

"And so will I," Xavier looked at him.

"Really? I wonder," Fisk smirked. "True mutants may be the new species on the block, smarter and faster and stronger and definitely a force to be reckoned with. And I agree that we mere Homo Sapiens are plodding along at a slower pace. But we've been around for nearly a millennia. We know the score and how things work. We have learned how to fight off predators and to outwit, outlast and outlive the competition and we are not going to simply lie back and allow ourselves to become extinct without a fight. Now personally I'm all for change. I have no problems with some new and improved genes. They can come in handy, but they're not everything. What was it that Carl Sagan said? Oh yes, evolution doesn't necessarily mean progress."

Fisk leaned in closer. "Be very careful Professor. You're new to the jungle and you're already challenging the big cats for the top of the food chain. And in the food chain you're either the predator…or the prey. Take my advice Xavier; be very careful not to get into a fight unless you know you can win. Otherwise…." He grinned. "I believe you can let yourself out." 

"You do have one point Mr. Fisk," Xavier said. "We are new to this world. What we represent is change. Hopefully for the better." 

"Now you sound like one of those dreadful advertisers for a new soda," Fisk yawned. "We're new and improved…change the future…blah, blah, blah. Same old song and dance which always leads to the same conclusion. Nothing changes. Oh the presentation might be different, but really below the surface the substance never does. Trust me. I know." 

"Really?" Xavier raised an eyebrow. "I think I will leave now. Oh by the way, you might want to cancel that appointment with Extensive Enterprises. You know whom Xamot and Tomax are really working for. Since Cobra's involved I might have to mention this to GI Joe, and you know what sticklers they are about Cobra. Even more annoying than Spider Man."

"How…" Fisk looked at him.

"I may not be able to read your mind but I can read your secretary's," Xavier told him. 

"Get out," Fisk snarled.

"We may be new to the jungle Fisk, but we're learning fast," Xavier warned him before he left. 

************************************************************************

Meanwhile in another part of town two men had been meeting for quite a while.

"It's good to talk to you Mr. Jamenson," Senator Kelly grinned. "I mean I need to get my message across to the people."

"Well I've been listening to you talk for about an hour and I think I have gotten the message," Jamenson smirked. 

"Yes, mutants are a threat to our existence," Kelly said. "They need to be controlled and registered. The people need to be aware of the fact that if we allow those things to run around loose and breed we're all in serious danger." 

"Oh I can see the danger. And I think I know just what the headline to this article is going to be, 'Senator Kelly, Biggest Windbag Ever!" 

"WHAT?" Kelly shouted.

"Kelly I have heard some really stupid, bigoted crap in my life," Jamenson chomped on his cigar. "But you top the cake. There's nothing I despise more than a bigot, and I ain't talking about the Archie Bunker type." 

"Mr. Jamenson I know what I'm talking about!" Kelly shouted. 

"Yeah and you'd know that over 85% of 'em are just kids!" Jamenson snapped. "I do a little reading myself every now and then."

"But they're dangerous!"

"So is any idiot behind the wheel of a car," Jamenson pointed out. "And you don't even have to be drunk to kill people or ruin lives. Hell do you have any idea how many accidents cell phones have created?" 

"This state's banned driving with cell phones."

"Yeah but not people! Look Senator," Jamenson glared at him. "I don't really have a problem with freaks…in general."

"So what about that Spider Man you're always bashing?" Kelly snapped. "What if he's a mutant?"

"So what if he is?" Jamenson got in Kelly's face. "For all I know he could be a Martian or something. But if he is a mutant that's no reason to bash all of them for one lunatic's misguided actions!" 

"Oh yeah well that lunatic Spider Man trashed the museum with those mutants from the Xavier institute!" 

"Wrong! I check my facts. The mutants were stopping several hired thugs in super powered costumes from stealing and destroying it. Spider Man may have been there as well to rob it but he got away. But the mutants were there to help, not destroy." 

"So it's okay to blast one freak but it's not to trash the lot of them?" Kelly shouted. "That's the most irrational thing I have ever heard! You're insane!" 

"I may be a lot of things," Jamenson snapped. "But one thing I am not is a bigot! While you were whiling your days away at some fancy prep school I was working on civil right campaigns. So if you think for one minute I am gonna allow some snot nosed moron in a bad suit and an even worse combover to dictate what I can or can't publish about mutants you've got another think coming! Now get out of my office through that door before I toss you out the window!" 

"You'll be sorry you ever crossed swords with me Jamenson!" Kelly stormed out.

"Bring it on!" Jamenson shouted. "I welcome a challenge! This is gonna be even more fun than the day I kicked Newt Gingrich on his ass! And we all know what happened to him!" 

Jamenson clapped his hands together. "I love it when I annoy a politician! He's going to be almost as much fun as trashing Spider Man. Almost. Spider Man's not that easy a target." 


	38. And That Leads Us Back To Tuesday Mornin...

**And That Leads Us Back To Tuesday Morning**

"So that's what happened to you guys," Scott remarked. "Boy and I thought we had an interesting afternoon." 

"Why what happened?" Ray asked.

"Never mind!" Ororo said quickly. "Not important. So I take it the museum is also pressing charges against us?" 

"Along with nearly every other establishment in Bayville?" Shipwreck asked.

"No," Xavier sighed. "Of course I had to sign over a very large check to them." 

"That's why it took all night," Hank told them. "That and talking to the police about what happened."

"Well that editor seemed nice," Kitty remarked. "You know the one from the Daily Bugle. He did seem to have his facts mixed up on Spider Man though."

"You mean you really didn't read his mind to find out who he was?" Shipwreck asked Xavier.

"Despite what you think Shipwreck I don't go around reading everyone's mind without permission," Xavier looked at him. Under his breath he muttered. "The headaches are not worth it." 

"At least we made some new friends," Fred said. 

"Yes we may have a visit one day by a Mr. Peter Parker," Xavier said. "We met him at the museum. He's a photographer for the Daily Bugle. He seemed like a very nice lad. So what did happen here while we were away? Why did most of you leave the mansion? And why did you let Xi lock Forge in the closet?"

"Well…" Forge began.

"We had some shopping to do," Ororo interrupted. 

"Yeah shopping." "That's right lots of shopping." "Needed some shoes and stuff." The students all spoke quickly. "Forge hogs the shoes." 

"Okay is there going to be a lawsuit against us?" Xavier groaned.

"Not against us no," Shipwreck said. "Duncan Matthews may have a problem but…" 

"Never mind!" Xavier held up his hand. "I don't really want to know now. I think I just want to have a nice quiet relaxing afternoon." 

"Good idea," Scott sighed. "We could use one." 

But a relaxing afternoon was the last thing they would have. And it all started when Pietro got bored and decided to make a phone call or two. 


	39. And Now Some Random Duncan Torture

**And Now Some Random Duncan Torture**

But before we go back to the Xavier Mansion let's take a quick peek at what is going on at the home of Duncan Matthews shall we?

"I knew you weren't bright but for god's sakes boy!" Mr. Matthews snapped. He was in the living room with his son and wife. "Getting drunk and into brawls at a mall? You're acting like…like a mutant!"

"They were the ones fighting! They started it!" Duncan shouted. "Mutants beat me up!" 

"You mean you were so drunk you got beat up by a scrawny little kid! That is pathetic!" Mr. Matthews snapped. "I heard all about it from the nice security officers! That kid was no mutant!" 

"I'd say we were disappointed in you son but by now we've come to expect these things," Mrs. Matthews sniffed. "Always getting into fights. Lousy grades. Dating mutant bimbos. No wonder I have stress." 

"Hey I had no idea Jean was a mutant," Duncan pointed out. 

"This isn't about her, it's about you," Mr. Matthews snapped. "Ever since you were a junior you've been wasting your life with parties and drinking!"

"Honey you're saying like it's a bad thing," Mrs. Matthews told him.

"Sorry let me rephrase that," Mr. Matthews said. "I was hoping by now that you would have some sense of what you wanted to do with your life. When I was your age I had dreams. I had goals. What are your goals? What do you want to do with your life?"

"Well I wanted to find that out for myself in college," Duncan said. "You know join a fraternity and all that stuff." 

"No seriously what do you want to do with your life?" Mr. Matthews looked at him.

"Well…" Duncan thought hard. "I always wanted to be a race car driver!" 

"Okay…" Mr. Matthews put his head in his hands. "Well at least it's a step up from when you were seven and wanted to be a race car." 

"I need some orange juice and vodka," Mrs. Matthews groaned. "Without the orange juice." She started to make herself a cocktail.

"All right, it's time I made an executive decision here! You have had it easy for far too long mister!" Mr. Matthews warned. "Well that is going to change from now on. You have way too much free time and too much money on your hands! First thing I am going to do is cut your allowance."

"By how much?" Duncan asked.

"All of it," Mr. Matthews said. "Next you have to get a job." 

"I HAVE TO GET A JOB?" Duncan shouted. "You're kidding me?" 

"No I am not," Mr. Matthews folded his arms. "I've set up an interview with a friend of mine. Mr. Brown."

"Wait isn't he the guy that runs a mining company?" Duncan asked.

"Yes you'll be starting from the bottom up. Literally," Mr. Matthews said. 

"Wait a minute! You telling me I have to go work in…?" Duncan looked at him.

"The mines yes," Mr. Matthew said. "Well there isn't exactly a lot of opportunities for you anyway! I mean its not like you have spectacular grades and any athletic opportunities are non-existent anyway!"

"Hey! That's not my fault! No school will pick someone from Bayville High because of all the mutants that went there!" Duncan protested.

"More like because of all the games you lost!" Mr. Matthews snapped. "And it's a waste of money to send you to college! The dog would get better grades than you!" 

"I am not going to spend my life underground in a dirty mine hocking up soot!" Duncan snapped. 

"Well you're going to have to do something because right after graduation you are moving out of this house!" Mr. Matthews snapped. 

"YOU'RE KICKING ME OUT OF MY HOME?" Duncan shouted.

"Technically this is my home," Mr. Matthews said. "I paid for it and everything. You've just been living here free of room and board." 

"Mo-om?" Duncan pleaded. 

"Don't mom me. It's time you learned some responsibility," Mrs. Matthews said as she sipped her cocktail ignoring the fact that the clock displayed that it was 10 am in the morning. 

"And it's time your bedroom was converted into a pool room," Mr. Matthews said.

"With a bar," Mrs. Matthews pointed out. 

"Of course dear," Mr. Matthews smiled warmly. "It will be our room." 

"It will be wonderful wouldn't it?" She sighed happily. 

"I do not believe this!" Duncan shouted. "I am not going to be a miner! No way! No how!" 

"Well there's always that job opening with Mr. Frizzle," Mrs. Matthews said. "He runs charming little boutique downtown."

"The shop where everyone has to wear pink and all the fat old ladies come in?" Duncan winced.

"That's the one," Mrs. Matthews said. "They need someone to take care of the old ladies' dogs while they shop. Oh and give them pedicures too." 

"What time's the meeting with Mr. Brown?" Duncan asked his father. 

**Well that explains why Duncan ends up working in a mine doesn't it? Next up, fun with Pietro and he gets to torture someone else who deserves it! Tee hee! **


	40. Pietro Makes a Phone Call

**Pietro Makes a Phone Call**

"What to do? What to do?" Pietro zipped around the X-Mansion. "Read Kitty's diary, read Jean's diary, read Tabby's diary, drew naughty pictures in Scott's journal…" 

He stopped when he saw the phone. "Hmmm?" He thought. "A phone that's not mine which means I can dial anywhere I want and not get charged for it."

A wicked grin played across his face. "Oh yes. It's time for a Pietro prank call!" He dialed several numbers rapidly. He then lowered his voice. "Yes uh, I'd like to speak to Mistah Senatah Kelly please." 

He waited until he was connected before continuing in a fake Southern accent. "Senatah Kelly I pre-sume? This is the Speaker speaking. How are y'all? Well that's good. Good. And how's that pretty little filly you got there? Which one? Why you sly old dog you! So who are you seeing the sights with? Really? I had no idea. I didn't think you were her type. Oh ho ho. You naughty boy! Well why not spread that sunshine around if you get my meaning." 

Pietro whipped out a piece of paper and jotted some names down. "Now uh, the reason I'm calling Senatah it's about the budget. Well now this is kinda prickly but we all had a meeting and we can't afford to pay the salaries of all the senators so we're gonna have to let some of you go. Actually just you. You don't mind do you? I mean not getting paid for the next couple of years? Well I hate to tell you this but it is in the Constitution. What amendment? The one with the fine print under it. Look let's not go into details but you're getting the ax. We'll send someone to collect your furniture…Now don't you take that tone with me boy I am the Speaker of the House! Oh what are you gonna do? You gonna tell everyone about what? You wouldn't! You have no proof I was anywhere near that brothel! And you'll tell 'em about the water buffalo too? Well go ahead!"

Pietro grinned. "You heard me. Go right ahead and tell everybody! In fact I dare you to call a press conference right now and tell the world! What, you chicken boy? Buck-caw! Buck-caw! I'd like to see you do it! Well same to you!" 

Pietro hung up the phone and laughed. "Something tells me the tabloids are going to have a very interesting week! I love prank calls! Who shall I torture next?"

Xi walked in. "What are you doing Pietro?"

Pietro grinned. "Xi! Perfect! How would you like to have a little fun?" 

"This is going to end up with us being chased around the mansion isn't it?" Xi asked. "Count me in."

**What will Pietro do now? What does he need Xi for? Tune in for some merry pointless romantic fluff, parodies and silliness! **


	41. What's New Kitty Cat?

**Do I need to tell you that I don't own any Tom Jones' songs? Well I got a very deranged idea I had to put down and to start it off I had to use this deranged parody. Enjoy the next block of chapters. I know I will. **

**What's New Kitty-Cat?**

In the mansion living room Lance was giving some flowers to Kitty. He had somehow managed to sneak away with her and find some alone time. "These are for you Pretty Kitty," He smiled. 

"Lance they're beautiful," Kitty sniffed them.

"But not as beautiful…" Lance began.

"As you are," Pietro zipped in between them and finished the line. "God Lance can't you at least think of something original to say to her? They are nice however?" He took them from Kitty and sniffed them.

"PIETRO!" Lance shouted. "Kitty and I were having some alone time here!" 

"Yeah three's a crowd," Kitty glared at him.

"Well that's an unusual statement coming from you," Pietro looked at her. "I thought you enjoyed threesomes?" 

"Pietro…" Lance growled. 

"So what's new Kitty Cat?" Pietro asked ignoring Lance. "Wait isn't that a song?"

"You're going to be hearing the funeral march if you don't get out of here!" Lance snapped. 

_"What's new Kitty Cat? Whoa-whoa-whoaaaaaaah!" _Pietro sang. _"What's new Kitty Cat? Whoa-whoa-whoaaaaaaaaaa-ohhhhhhhh!" _

"Go away!" Kitty fumed. 

Pietro ignored this and danced around them throwing the flowers around. _"Kitty Cat, Kitty Cat you've got flowers. You think you're the female version of Austin Powers. You know it's true. So you go and butt in with your little kitty nose!" _

"Pietro I am warning you…" Lance growled. 

__

"Kitty Cat, Kitty Cat the boys all love you. Is that true? You and your big kitty cat nose!" Pietro continued. 

__

"I do not have a big nose!" Kitty stomped her foot. "Do I?" 

__

"What's new Kitty Cat? Whoa-whoaaah! What's new Kitty Cat? Whoaa-whoaaaa-oohhh! Kitty Cat, Kitty Cat everyone loves you, so what do you do? You string 'em all along! So please go and make up your tiny little kitty cat mind! Kitty Cat, Kitty Cat Lance loves and Colossus too! You and your big kitty cat eyes!" 

"This is so not funny Quicksilver!" Kitty took a swipe at Pietro who dodged out of her way. 

__

"What's new Kitty Cat? Whooaahhhh-whoaaah!" Pietro then grabbed Lance and dragged him into the next room. "_What's new Kitty Cat? Whoa-whoaaaa-ohhhh!" _

"Hey!" Lance protested as Pietro threw him in a closet and locked the door. 

Then Pietro started dancing around with Kitty. _"Kitty Cat, Kitty Cat you're so vicious, but Lancey thinks you're delicious and if his wishes all come true, at the altar he'll be kissing your kitty cat lips!" _

"Pietro stop it! Let me go!" Kitty phased through his grip. 

__

"THAT'S IT!" Lance used his powers to break down the closet door. He stormed out. "Okay Pietro this stops right…" He stopped when he saw a figure in a wedding dress standing before him with a veil covering the face. 

__

Pietro then zipped up to them in a cleric's outfit and shoved the figure into Lance's arms. _"Kitty Cat, Kitty Cat Lance loves you, yes it's true… you and your kitty cat lips," _Pietro sang.

Lance stood there in shock as Pietro continued. _"You and your kitty cat eyes…" _

"Lance?" Kitty walked up to him. 

Lance did a double take and then lifted up the veil. Xi grinned before him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Lance screamed. 

__

"You and your kitty cat nose!" Both Xi and Pietro sang. 

Xi batted his eyes while Pietro stole a kiss from Kitty on the lips. "Hey I just got further with Kitty than Lance ever has!" 

"PIETRO! XI!" Kitty screamed. 

"That's it," Lance growled. "Let's kill 'em!" The two of them chased after Pietro and Xi who were laughing maniacally. 


	42. Another Tender Moment Interrupted

**Another Tender Moment Interrupted**

"Oh you look so cute as a little ducky!" Tabitha squealed. 

Sam winced. "Not so loud Tabby. I don't think they heard you down the block."

"Sorry, but you look so adorable in this costume," Tabitha was looking at a large scrapbook. They were sitting on the floor in Sam's room looking at it. "Your mom actually made it by hand?"

"Yup," Sam nodded. "She makes a lot of our clothes too." 

"That's cool," Tabitha looked. "You and your brothers and sisters all dressed up like ducklings. How old were you again?"

"Three," Sam told her. 

"Man I had no idea you had a lot of brothers and sisters," Tabitha said.

"You should see the pictures with the rest of them and my cousins," Sam turned the page. 

"It must be nice having a large family back home," Tabitha sighed. "All I've got is my mom and a jerk of a father in prison."

"Well if it makes you feel any better I have a few jerk uncles in the clink as well," Sam told her.

"Yeah but it's not exactly the same as having your father…." Tabitha's face went dark. "You don't know how lucky you are Sammy." 

"Well so are you now," Sam told her. "I mean we're all one huge family here now. We all care for each other in our own crazy way. And we'll always be there for each other."

"Really?" Tabitha looked at him. "Do you really feel that way? About me?"

"Uh…" Sam blushed. "Well…" 

Tabitha leaned forward to kiss him. Sam closed his eyes and puckered up.

Then Pietro ran through the room. "Coming through!" 

Xi ran after him laughing while being chased by Lance and Kitty. They knocked Sam, Tabitha and his scrapbook across the room. "COME BACK HERE YOU LUNATICS!" Kitty screamed as they ran out. 

"My scrapbook!" Sam shouted. 

"You jerks!" Tabitha shouted. "The pictures are everywhere now!" 

"Okay why are they chasing each other and why is Xi wearing a wedding dress?" Sam asked.

"We'll find out after we beat it out of 'em!" Tabitha snapped. "Come on!" They chased after the group. 


	43. This Not So Magic Moment

**This Not So Magic Moment**

In another quiet corner of the mansion Rouge asked Remy "Now what is this surprise you have for me?"

Remy gave her a wink and brought out a sheer black scarf. "It's pretty," She looked at it. "I like it. It'll look nice against my outfit."

"This scarf is not for accessories Cherie," Remy grinned. 

"Oh then what…?" Rogue blinked as Remy gently lay the black scarf across her lips. "Oh…" 

Rogue felt herself melting looking in his eyes. _Okay this is the part where I'm supposed to slug him…_Her brain rambled. _Okay fists…fists? Hello? Hands you're supposed to make fists now…Don't just lie there._

Tentatively her hands reached up and felt his chest as he pressed close to her. _Okay…maybe just to push him away…I can feel his heart beating as fast as mine. Man his body feels so…solid. Is it getting warmer in here? What was I going to do again? Oh right…well maybe in a minute or two…_

His lips edged closer to her scarf covered ones. She closed her eyes. _Oh lord…he's gonna kiss me! Me! Oh Remy…_

The next thing Rogue knew she was knocked to the ground. "What the?" She gasped as she saw several people separate and knock the both of them down.

"What was that all about?" Remy shouted.

Rogue looked down and saw that the scarf had been trampled. _ I didn't even get my kiss! _Anger built up inside of her. 

"You people just pushed around the wrong Cajun!" Remy shouted. 

"OKAY! YOU YAHOOS ARE ALL DEAD! DEAD YOU HEAR ME?" Rogue screamed as she and Remy chased after the group. 


	44. Anybody Sensing a Pattern Here?

**Anybody Sensing a Pattern Here?**

"Why do I get the feeling that you purposely assign me to do dishes all the time?" Scott asked Jean. 

"What do you mean?" She asked as she dried.

"Well…you are in charge of the house schedules now," Scott said.

"Yes?" Jean grinned.

"And I notice that most of the time we seem to end up doing the same chores together."

"Really? Imagine that. I hadn't noticed," Jean whistled as she put down the latest clean dish on a semi-large stack. 

"Jean I may not be a telepath but even I know when some people are lying," Scott grinned back. 

"Well this time I admit I had an ulterior motive," She grinned as she brought out a small cake. "Now before you say anything I've been practicing and Roadblock gave me a few pointers." 

"Really?" Scott looked at her as she cut him a small piece and put it on a plate.

"Yes now open wide," She took a fork and fed him a piece. 

"It's…good," Scott blinked. 

"You like it?" Jean beamed.

"I like it very much," Scott grinned. 

"You got some frosting on your lip," Jean grinned.

"Oh really?" Scott grinned back. "Where?"

"Well I can get it…" Jean leaned in to kiss him when she noticed a charged card landing in the kitchen. "Off?" The card landed right on the cake.

At the exact same moment Pietro ran in and around. "You missed!" He laughed before running out in a gust, blowing several items around.

The cake exploded all over Scott and Jean as soon as he left and right before Xi, Lance, Kitty, Tabitha, Sam, Rogue and Remy ran in. "Watch it you maniacs!" Scott screamed.

"Prepare to die!" Tabitha shouted as she threw her time bombs at the people ahead of her. Instead they landed on the dishes. 

Sam slipped on some extra icing and was flung forward. His powers manifested and he crashed right into the kitchen window and outside. "AAAAAAAAGGHHH!" 

"You can run but you can't hide!" Rogue shouted as they ran out of the kitchen just as the time bombs exploded on the dishes. 

Scott and Jean were left alone in the ruined kitchen, surrounded by broken dishes and glass and covered with cake. "The dishes!" Scott shouted. "The window! I am not cleaning this up!" 

"My cake!" Jean shouted. "It's ruined!" 

"COME BACK HERE YOU MANIACS!" Scott yelled.

"You are all in such trouble!" Jean screamed. 

"Let's get 'em!" Scott shouted. "ALVERS! YOU ARE A DEAD MAN! YOU AND THE REST OF THE GUYS!"

"ROGUE! TABITHA! KITTY? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?" Jean screamed as they ran after them. 


	45. Yet Another Couple Gets Into the Act

**Yet Another Couple Gets Into the Act**

"You know it's been a while since we've done this," Todd lay back in the grass and looked at the clouds above them. 

"Yeah I mean it's kind of nice just to kick back and relax," Althea snuggled next to him. 

"Hey Al do you ever think about…you know, the future and stuff?" Todd asked.

"Sometimes. I try not to. I'd like the disasters to be a surprise." 

"I'm serious," Todd looked at her. "I mean aren't you ever…scared?"

"About what?"

"Well you know, everything. Mutants being hunted, growing up in a world that fears and hates your guts, people who want to experiment on you, take your pick." 

"Well a little, yeah," Althea sighed. "But I know I'm not the only one that worries about that. And that makes me feel less scared because I'm you know…less alone. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," Todd snuggled next to her. "Yeah it does."

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Pietro ran by.

"YIKES!" Sam screamed as he zoomed after him. 

"Can't catch me!" Xi laughed in the wedding dress.

"You two are so dead!" Lance shouted.

"DO YOU HEAR US? DEAD!" Kitty screamed. 

"KILL THEM SAMMY!" Tabitha was creating a huge energy bomb. "KILL THEM ALL!" 

"TABITHA YOU HAVE DONE IT THIS TIME! THIS TIME THE GLOVES COME OFF!" Rogue shouted. 

"LEAVE JUST ENOUGH OF THEM FOR ME!" Remy charged up a card.

"IF YOU MANIACS DON'T KNOCK IT OFF I AM GOING TO BLAST YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!" Scott ran by.

"NOT IF I GET THEM FIRST!" Jean ran with him.

"And we'll never be alone with this bunch," Todd remarked. 

"Why is everyone chasing everyone?" Althea asked.

"Who cares? Let's join 'em!" Todd hopped after them. 

"Why not?" Althea shrugged before she followed him. 


	46. Tennis Anyone?

**Tennis Anyone?**

"I like tennis," Fred remarked. "Never get to play much but I like it." He was on the tennis court with Forge, Ray and Roberto. 

"Okay," Forge said. "You and I will play Roberto and Ray. Basically because everyone else is busy with something." 

"Did anybody hear an explosion?" Roberto looked around.

"Probably," Forge waved. "First serve!"

"I wanna do it!" Fred waved.

"Fine just don't do it too…" Forge began. Then he winced as Fred's power serve whacked Roberto across the courtyard. "Hard…"

"All right you want to play it that way?" Roberto powered up and let loose a powerful serve. Unfortunately it hit Fred right in the belly, bounced off it and hit Roberto right in the head. "Ow…" 

"I think that's game, set and match…" Fred looked down at him.

Then Pietro ran by, jumping over the nets and landing on Roberto. He woke up with oomph! "What the…?" He looked up and saw Pietro running away laughing. 

The rest of the gang followed and between Sam's flying, Lance's earthquakes, Tabitha's energy bombs and Remy's cards soon the entire tennis court was wrecked and filled with holes. "Now what was that all about?" Ray groaned.

"I dunno," Forge shrugged. "Wanna chase 'em?"

"Well the game's a loss anyway so why not?" Fred groaned. 

They ran off leaving Roberto lying in pain on the court. "Don't mind me…" He moaned. "I'm only dying in agony here…" 


	47. Still More People Get Into the Act

**Still More People Get Into the Act**

"TRINITY CUT IT OUT!" Jamie screamed as the triplets chased him all around the backyard.

"Kissy! Kissy!" Brittany squealed. 

"NO! NO KISSY! KISSY! THIS IS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!" Jamie shouted. "DIDN'T YOU LEARN ANYTHING FROM BEAST YESTERDAY?"

They all stopped. "What am I saying?" Jamie groaned.

"Oh come on," Daria looked at him. "He couldn't even say the word 'sex' around us. He kept calling it 'You Know What.'"

"Yeah for a guy with a huge vocabulary it sure failed him," Quinn shook her head. "Every time we asked him a question he kept choking and he looked like he was gonna have a heart attack!" 

"Your questions would give the editors of Playboy a heart attack!" Jamie snapped. "Look my point is you guys are too forward! How would you like it if I chased you guys around huh?" Then he saw the looks on the girls' faces. "Definitely the wrong thing to say!" 

Then Pietro and the others ran by. "Okay…" Daria looked at them. "What was that about?" 

"Who cares?" Quinn shrugged. "Hey Jamie you wanna chase them for a while?" 

"Why not?" Jamie made a few more clones of himself. "Charge!" Jamie yelled at his clones. They all ran after them and joined the group.

"HELP!" Shipwreck soon joined them. Ororo was running after him.

"YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE SHIPWRECK!" Ororo shouted. 

"What did you do to tick her off this time?" Jamie asked as he ran alongside Shipwreck. 

"Don't ask kid," Shipwreck gulped.

"Is that a bra sticking out of your back pocket?" Fred panted.

"JUST SHUT UP AND RUN!" Shipwreck shouted. 

****


	48. Maybe We Should Pretend We're Not Home?

**Maybe We Should Pretend We're Not Home?**

"As good as it was to get away I'm kind of glad we're back," Jinx said to Logan as they parked in the driveway. 

"Yeah it's kind of nice to…" Logan began when he saw nearly the entire gang run around. "What in the world…?"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pietro laughed.

"SHIPWRECK YOU ARE GOING TO FRY! FRY I TELL YOU!" Ororo threw lightning bolts at Shipwreck.

"PREPARE TO GET BLOWN UP INTO NEXT WEEK!" Scott shouted blasting his visor.

"THAT'S MY LINE SUMMERS!" Tabitha shouted. 

"Why are they chasing each other now?" Logan groaned.

"Logan usually I find it's best if those questions were left unanswered," Jinx sighed. 

"This looks like something out of Benny Hill," Logan grumbled. "All that's missing is the guy in the…" He winced as he saw Xi run by. "Dress…" 

"You sure you want to come back?" Jinx asked Logan. 

"Maybe we can sneak away before anyone notices we're here…" Logan grumbled.

However it was too late for that. A lone figure had been watching them with long range binoculars. "Target sighted," The figure spoke into an intercom. "Too much activity to successfully remove him now. This place is a regular nuthouse. But soon I will have Wolverine and bring him back." 

**Who is after Logan? Will the madness at the Institute ever end? Stay tuned and eventually your questions will be revealed! **


	49. We Never Should Have Left the Library

**We Never Should Have Left the Library**

"I really appreciate you helping me sort out my issues with my mother Professor," Amanda sighed as she left the library with Kurt. 

"Remember Amanda your mother didn't mean to deliberately hurt you," Xavier told her. "Or you as well Kurt."

"Yeah well Mystique certainly has her share of secrets that's for sure," Kurt grumbled. 

"I think I still need more time to think things out," Amanda said when she heard an explosion. 

"Who can think things through in this place?" Bobby walked in with Peter. "Professor everyone's fighting and chasing each other. The kitchen is totally wrecked."

"Again?" Xavier moaned. 

Lockheed and Polly flew by madly. Both were carrying something in their claws. "Give me back my new top you little thieves!" Amara snapped as she chased them. 

"YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! YOU HEAR ME! DIE!" Jean screamed down the hall. 

"What in god's name is going on **now**?" Xavier moaned. "And where is my scotch when I need it?" 

"That's it!" Kurt grabbed Amanda's hand. "Come on Amanda, we're going out for lunch!"

"This group's already out to lunch," Amanda remarked before they teleported. 

"And you're leaving me to sort this out…." Xavier muttered. "Great, just great! Logan! Get in here and help me! I can sense you're in this building somewhere! LOGAN! HANK! I KNOW YOU'VE LOCKED YOURSELF IN THE LAB! GET OUT HERE AND HELP ME!" 

***********************************************************************

"Well, at least it's quieter here," Kurt remarked. The two of them were at McDonalds and Kurt had his image inducer on. They were finishing up a burger. 

"GET IT! IT'S A FREAK!" Someone screamed. 

Kurt and Amanda looked and saw some thugs chasing a small girl with long brown hair and huge hands into an alley. She was carrying what appeared to be several bags. Without thinking Kurt teleported before them, blocking their access to the girl. "What are you doing? She's just a child!"

"She's a mutant!" One shouted. 

"So's he! It's one of those Institute freaks, " Another thug growled. "You're the one that can turn into that blue demon!" 

"Let's trash 'em!" A third snarled.

"Let's not…" A menacing voice snarled. Several fire covered spears appeared in front of them. One look at the figure in the shadow and the thugs fled. 

"Are you two okay?" The figure stepped out into the light. 

"Yeah but who…?" Kurt asked. Then he recognized him. "**Evan?**"


	50. A Run In With an Old Friend

**A Run In With An Old Friend **

Kurt looked at the tall figure covered with bone plating. His head was crowned by horns and spikes making him resemble something like a stegosaurus. "Evan?"

"Hey Fuzzy," Evan grinned. "What? Don't like the new look? I'd give you a hug but uh…" He indicated the spikes on his chest.

"Man where have you been?" Kurt grasped his hand.

"Oh around," Evan shook it. "It's good to see you."

"Yeah but why…?" Kurt began.

"Kurt? Kurt?" Amanda ran in. "Kurt are you okay? Kurt! Oh!" She gasped when she saw Evan.

"Hey Amanda," Evan grinned. "Still hanging with the Fuzzy Dude huh?" 

"Evan? Is that you? What happened to you?" Amanda asked.

"My mutation?" Evan gave her a wry look.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that," Amanda apologized. 

"Don't worry," Evan waved. "It's not exactly the worst I've heard." 

"Yeah but fire?" Kurt blinked at the glowing spear. "That's a new twist."

"Tell me about it," Evan grinned. "But on the bright side the tunnels have become a lot warmer since I've learned that trick. Not to mention safer." 

The small child made a frightened whimper. "It's okay Torpid," Evan soothed the child. "She won't hurt you." He looked at Amanda. "She's afraid of humans."

"Afraid of me? Why?" Amanda asked.

"They did something bad to her," Evan explained as he gently tussled Torpid's hair. "We don't what. She never talks. But we know it was bad." 

"Oh…" Amanda said. 

"How have you been Evan?" Kurt asked. "Your Aunt worries about you all the time."

"I'm fine considering," Evan shrugged. "But you two shouldn't be out here. Especially with all the attacks in this neighborhood."

"Attacks?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah lately a lot of jerks' favorite pastime is to go hunting and bashing mutants. Especially Morlocks," Evan grunted. 

"I haven't heard anything," Kurt remarked.

"Of course you haven't," Evan said. "Like the cops would ever help a mutant in need. Fortunately none of my people have been seriously hurt so far. I've made sure of that. But the two of you should be more careful."

"And I thought things were crazy enough back with the Misfits at the Mansion," Amanda sighed. 

"The who?" Evan gave her a puzzled look.

"Oh that's right you wouldn't know," Kurt said. "Most of the Brotherhood is now working under GI Joe. You remember Wavedancer?" 

"Vividly," Evan nodded.

"Well she's leading them now. They call themselves the Misfits, an appropriate name if there was one," Kurt explained. "Roadblock is in charge of training them." 

"Wow, I would have never figured the Brotherhood of all people to become pets," Evan shook his head. 

"Pets?" Amanda asked.

"Our word for a mutant that works for humans," Evan shrugged. "Or dates one…Sorry man, I didn't mean…" 

"I take it most Morlocks would not encourage a human dating a mutant?" Kurt sighed. 

"No," Evan sighed. "Some of them even would go as far as considering that an act of treason. I don't believe that myself, it's just some of the Morlocks had it really hard before coming to the Alley. I mean really bad."

"It's okay," Amanda told him. "I understand."

"No you don't," Evan said quietly. "Not really. Look Kurt could you do me a favor? Don't tell my aunt you saw me okay?"

"But she's been worried sick about you!" Amanda said.

"Well then tell her I'm okay but don't tell her about…well, the extra spikes and the fire all right?" 

"But why?" Kurt asked. 

"I don't want her freaking out that's all," Evan explained. "Simple as that."

"Evan we don't care what you look like!" Kurt told him. "I mean look at me."

"It's a bit more complicated than that Kurt," Evan told him. "I don't think you'd understand." 

"Try me," Kurt stared at him. 

"Do you know the real reason why I left?" Evan asked. "It wasn't just because of the way I looked. It was because I realized something. I didn't belong there anymore." 

"Of course you do Evan!" Kurt said.

"No I don't," Evan frowned. "Because I don't believe in Xavier or my aunt anymore." 

"What?" Kurt gasped. "You're joking right? Please tell me that was a joke!" 

"I knew you wouldn't get it. This little skirmish is nothing compared to some of the fights I've been in since I became a Morlock," Evan huffed. "Humans will turn on us sooner or later, I'm just not going to hang around and become a target for them. Or help them so that they can take more shots at us. At least with the Morlocks I'm doing something. I'm protecting those who need help the most. It may not be fancy, but I know I'm making a difference. Which is more than what I can say for the Professor." 

"That's not true!" Kurt defended. "He is working to make things better!"

"How? Making a few speeches? Donating some money to certain people so he can continue to run the school so a few select mutants can join his private little army?" Evan snapped. "That's as good as nothing and you know it!" 

"How can you say something like that?" Kurt said. "You're an X-Man too!" 

"I **was** an X-Man Kurt," Evan said. "Past tense. My eyes have been opened to a lot of stuff since I left. Do you have any idea how many mutants there are on the streets? Hundreds! And that's not even counting the Morlocks that live here! There are Morlock communities in dozens of cities now! All over the world! A lot of them have different names and stuff, but they're Morlocks nonetheless in spirit. I've seen things, heard stories that would make your fur crawl. Mutants forced to hide into the shadows and live in the sewers for no other reason than to escape abuse. All at the hands of humans. And he expects us to get along with them?"

"Not all of us are like that," Amanda said.

"I know Amanda," Evan said. "But for every **one** of **you **there are at least **fifty** of **them **who want nothing more than to see us dead. Only mutants can help themselves. We can't rely on normal humans to help us. Mutants have to fight for our place in the world. By any means necessary."

"Now you're starting to sound like Magneto," Kurt frowned.

"Well on this issue he's right," Evan said. "I ain't saying we should wipe out all the humans so we can rule the planet. That's crazy talk. I'm talking about survival. We're not going to start any fights but we sure as hell will finish them!" 

"We?" Kurt asked.

"There's quite a few Morlocks that feel the same way I do," Evan nodded. "I've been training them on how to fight. How to think in battle. How to use the environment to their advantage. Just how Storm and the others taught me." 

"She never intended you to use that training for this!" Kurt gasped. 

"You mean she never intended for me to think for myself," Evan glared at him. "And for the first time in a long while that's what I've been doing. Somebody's got to take care of mutants who can't take care of themselves."

"And you are that somebody?" Kurt asked. 

"Yes," Evan told him. "Then he softened. "Look man, I didn't mean to go all preacher on you. I'm just…trying to help those who need it the most. I've seen a different world than Xavier's that's all. The real one. You'd understand too if you didn't hide behind that inducer all the time."

"I didn't always have this inducer Evan," Kurt told him.

"No but you've grown dependent on it," Evan said. "Just like you and the others have grown dependent on the Professor telling you what to do and taking care of you. Yeah you're all good fighters, but it's made you soft up here." He indicated his forehead. "Admit it, if something happened to him, you'd be lost."

"We'd survive," Kurt stiffened.

"We'll see…" Evan sighed. "Look it was good to see you again Kurt. Amanda. But I have to take Torpid home. Our food is getting cold." 

"Evan if there's anything you need, anything at all…" Amanda said. 

"Morlocks ain't that much into charity Amanda," Evan told her. "But…I'll keep you in mind. It's nice to know there's at least one human out there that's willing to help us if we need it. Kurt, please remember not to tell my aunt, okay? I don't want her to worry any more than she has to."

"All right," Kurt nodded sadly. "I promise. Goodbye my friend. Take care." 

They disappeared into the shadows. "Kurt what happened to him?" Amanda asked. "He's not the Evan I remember!" 

"No, he's not. He's changed Amanda," Kurt said softly. "And not just on the outside. And for some reason…I'm frightened by what he has become." 


	51. EMail From the Edge

**E-Mail From the Edge**

"What are you doing?" Kitty walked into the library later eating an apple. 

"Just sending an e-mail to Rahnee," Amara said. 

Kitty looked at the e-mail. "Don't forget to tell her that the Misfits aren't going to be here tomorrow so things will be quiet for a day," She said.

"I will." Amara sent it. A few minutes later she got a message. She and Kitty both read it. 

_Amara,_

Boy nothing stays quiet for long in that place does it? I wish I was back there to see all the fun, but Moira my adopted mother won't let me go. It's so dull here on Muir Isle! If you don't count the occasional explosion when something goes wrong in the lab! 

There is some good news however! My mum has a boyfriend! And he's a mutant too! His names Sean Cassidy, calls himself Banshee because he can send out vibrations with his mouth. He's Irish and very nice. And best of all, he has a daughter! She has the same abilities he has! Her name is Theresa and she's loads of fun! Finally! Somebody I can talk to! We're both trying to get her dad to pop the question! 

Speaking of what's going on with Storm? I still say she likes Mr. McCoy! You have got to get him to pluck up his nerve and ask her out before Shipwreck succeeds! 

Got to go now, Moira's complaining about the sprinkler system going off again! As if I'm the only one who's sets fires around here! 

Rahnee.

"Oh wow that is so cool!" Kitty squealed. 

"What is?" Xavier wheeled into the room. 

"Rahnee's mom is getting engaged to this totally hot guy!" Kitty squealed. "Isn't that cool?" 

"Really?" Xavier stiffened. "That's nice. Excuse me…" He wheeled out of the room. The sound of someone banging his head could be heard afterwards.

************************************************************************

Muir Island

"Theresa! How many times do I have to tell you not to fly in the house!" Moira screamed. "Rahnee! I know you dug up my flowerbed! Change back into human form this instant young lady and answer me! Where are you going? Are you going out to chase squirrels again!" An alarm sounded. "Oh great now what exploded?" 

Ten minutes later an e-mail appeared on Xavier's computer.

_Charles…I've been thinking. Perhaps I was a bit too harsh with you. I was wondering that perhaps during the holidays I might allow Rahnee and a friend of hers to visit the Institute. For a week…maybe longer. I still have some concerns about safety however…_

Moira

Ten minutes later:

_Moira,_

We'd be happy to have Rahnee back here at any time, and any friends. Maybe you were right with some concerns about safety. I have been taking more precautions lately. I will talk more to you later when my headache goes away. Congratulations on your engagement. Charles.

Five Minutes later:

_Charles:_

WHAT BLOODY ENGAGEMENT? What are you talking about? 

Moira:

Your engagement to Sean Cassidy. Rahnee informed Amara and Kitty who told the entire mansion. I assume this statement is false? Charles.

Charles:

You assume correctly! Those two girls have been driving us crazy! Sean's daughter I mean. True we're dating but for crying out loud! They have been taking every opportunity to find ways to speed the process up! Locking us in the lab 'accidentally', sending roses to each other using our names! You have no idea what goes on around here! Moira.

Moira,

Don't be so sure. At least your children aren't using mutant astrology to pair up the other adults around you. Or worse, one of the other adults isn't acting like a demented loon trying to get a date with someone. 

Charles,

Mutant Astrology? What is that? What kind of nonsense is going on at that mansion? I know Rahnee's said a few things but I have a feeling they've been carefully edited. Are you talking about that Shipwreck fellow?

Moira,

WHO ELSE? THE MAN JUST STOLE MORE OF MY BEST SCOTCH AND IS NOW SINGING A SERANADE TO STORM WHO IS ABOUT TO BLAST HIM INTO NEXT WEEK! HE'S NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TONIGHT! OR TOMORROW! 

Sorry about that. Things are getting a bit stressed around here. You know this is the first time we have really communicated since the…incident. It is nice to talk to you again. Such as it is. 

In answer to your question, Mutant Astrology is some nonsense Trinity cooked up. It's based on a mutant's powers, which are classified into particular signs. Much like regular astrology except fortunes are told based on one's powers rather than birth dates. A lot of the children here are into it. They are trying to find ways to get some of the faculty to date each other.

I must go now. It looks like Kitty's dragon Lockheed is playing tag in the parlor with Polly the parrot again.

Charles.

Charles

DRAGON? SINCE WHEN DOES KITTY HAVE A DRAGON? AND HOW COULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE A DRAGON IN THE FIRST PLACE? 

No don't tell me, I don't think I want to know. Now I know Rahnee is keeping things from me! 

How do you do it Charles? How do you manage to stay sane in that household? Now with Sean's daughter here at the isle I have my hands full with only two mutant girls running amok! I must admit I never really appreciated what you go through before. I have to admit it is good to talk to you again. 

For a long time I was angry with you Charles. Angry for training my girl to be a soldier in some crazy war. Angry for exposing her to danger when you promised she'd be safe. But I've been reading the papers and…oh Charles even in the U.K. they're starting to talk about mutant registration. In Scotland there have been…incidents. Not as many as there are in the States but still it makes me nervous. Even here there are hate groups that don't like Muir Isle. If they ever found out about Kevin and the children that live here… I shudder to think what will happen. 

I know you're trying to do something. But I don't know if I can let Rahnee go that easily. My own son is being forced to spend his life drugged and in a containment unit. If I lose the girl, it will be just as painful. It would be like losing my own flesh and blood. I know she misses her friends and she's not completely happy here. Then again what teenager is ever happy? Thank goodness Theresa is now here. At least the girls have formed a friendship. Or maybe I should say a conspiracy?

So you can't blame me if I want to keep her here for a little while longer now can you? Maybe some day I'll send her back to the Institute but for now…for now I have my little girl with me. Or maybe I should say my little wolf but you get the point. I know you love your charges as much as I do. 

Of course if a certain party doesn't stop destroying my garden I'd love to whack her nose with a rolled up newspaper! Okay I'd never really do that, but I'm tempted nonetheless. 

So how do you stay sane with all those children there? Just asking. Please send the answer soon! The girls are now picking out the caterer for my non-existent wedding! 

Moira

Of course I understand. I don't blame you for taking Rahnee away. I never did. I would have done the same thing if our roles were reversed. I know you did it out of love and I can't blame you for that. We've been friends and more for far too long to end up hating each other.

In answer to your question…Scotch. Lots of it. 

**Okay, that was just some drabble I needed to get out of my brain. Now it's time for a new adventure or two! Up next, a quiet day at the Xavier mansion is interrupted when an intruder who sets his sights on Logan invades it! But why? Find out! **

__


	52. A Fine Wednesday's Hunt

**A Fine Wednesday's Hunt**

Wednesday morning came and went with little commotion. Well as little commotion as possible with several mutant teenagers in a house. However since there were no Misfits to interact with, the explosions and bickering were kept to a minimum. Morning classes came and went after breakfast. Xavier decided that the students had earned a little break.

"A picnic would be a wonderful idea Ororo," Xavier agreed with her. "The students could go to the small pond in the woods." 

"All right!" Sam whooped. "We can also go swimming! It's warm enough!" 

"That's why I suggested it," Ororo smiled.

"What's wrong with the pool?" Kitty asked.

"Girl sometimes you gotta go back to nature," Tabitha grinned. "It'll be fun! Right Logan?"

"Right kid," Logan grinned. "But I ain't going swimming. I'm going to do me some hunting." 

"Hunting?" Amanda blanched.

"Not real hunting kid," Logan grinned. "I'm just gonna track an animal for the fun of it. See if I can get close enough to touch it. That's all. Don't like killing animals for sport." 

"Yeah he prefers people," Bobby snickered to Roberto.

"I heard that Icicle," Logan glared at him. Then he grinned. "I'll remember that next time we have Danger Room practice."

"Me and my big mouth," Bobby groaned. 

************************************************************************

On the far side of the woods at the Institute Logan was happily tracking down a small deer when he stopped. "Something ain't right here," He unsheathed his claws. "I know that scent." 

Suddenly the ground erupted in front of him, throwing him back. Out of the ground Logan saw a man in a white and red costume fly out. The costume had a maple leaf design on his side. "YOU!" Logan snapped. "What are you doing here?" 

"Logan it's time you came home," The man in the costume told him. 

"James Macdonald Hudson," Logan growled. "I recognized your scent."

"I'm not that man anymore," James glared at him. "Call me Vindicator. And you're coming with me!" 


	53. Vindicator

**Vindicator**

"So you finally finished your little power suit huh?" Logan looked at him. "Pretty dorky if you ask me." 

"Laugh all you like," James said. "This suit evens the odds between you and me and then some."

"We've been over this before Jimbo," Logan snapped. "I'm not your weapon. I made a deal to leave with Xavier long ago."

"What Xavier wants is immaterial. You're Canadian. It's your patriotic duty to return with me. Alpha Flight needs you."

"Sorry bub, but I already have a team that needs me," Logan pointed out. 

"Listen Logan, like it or not you're coming back with me," James told him.

"Yeah right," Logan folded his arms. "I resigned Jimmy Boy. I cut my ties…and Chasen's long ago. Xavier made sure of that. I'm an X-Man now so buzz off." 

"You always were a royal pain in the butt," James snapped at him. "Just as ornery as your namesake but if you insist on doing this the hard way…"

"Those sound like fighting words," Logan shot out his claws. "And if it's a fight you want…" He attacked. "It's a fight you've got!" 

James reacted quickly. _Good lord! He's faster than ever! I barely got up my force shields in time! _He thought. _It' s a damn good thing I made an overhaul to the circuitry last week! Otherwise he'd have just torn me to shreds! _He masked his nervousness with bravado. "Not bad Logan, you throw a good punch as ever! Now let me see you take one!" He gave Logan a good right cross.

"I do all right Jimbo," Logan snarled as he hit back. "Too bad you keep forgetting that no matter how hard you hit me, I'll just keep coming back!" _Big talk Logan, that punch nearly tore your head off, adamantium skeleton or not! That glowing suit he's wearing evens us out! _

Time to take a different tactic, James flew upwards. 

"Aw cripes you can fly?" Logan snapped. 

"Pretty perceptive," James told him. "My battle suit is the ultimate product of Canadian technology. It's powers combined with my training make me equal, if not better than any X-Man!" 

"Prove it Jimmy boy!" Logan snapped. "Cause until then you're all mouth!" 

"How's this for all mouth?" James snarled as he used his speed to ram right into him. 

They both flew straight through the trees. Right past where the others were relaxing. "WHAT'S GOING ON?" Scott shouted.

__

Oh great…James thought. _Witnesses. What are those X-Kids doing here? _

Jinx ran up to an unconscious Logan. "Logan! Can you hear me? Logan?" 

__

That's the woman he was with yesterday, James scanned her. _Files say she's with…GI JOE? This is not good. _

"Get out of my way," James put up a front. "This is Canadian business."

"No, Logan is our friend and instructor," Peter stepped in front of him. "If you want to go through him costumed man you will have to go through me."

"Your funeral big fella…" James prepared to fight. _Now what was the Russian kid able to do? Damn it! I knew I should have paid more attention to intelligence! _

Peter grinned. "I do not think so." He then transformed into his armored form and knocked James across the field using his strength.

__

Oh yeah…**now **I remember…James thought as he sailed though a few trees. Fortunately his battle suit was able to take most of the damage. When he finally stopped he grabbed giant fir log. "Okay Kid, I tried to be nice. But now I'm gonna have to teach you some manners!" 

"I don't think so. When you attack one X-Man you attack us all!" Ororo shouted, conjuring up a lightning blast which turned the tree into cinders.

_Oh this is just great! Not what I had in mind for a field test! _James thought. "Lady you throw a mean zap! But I'm no slouch in that department either!" He shot out an electric charge.

Peter used his armored form to shield Ororo. The charge zapped off of his body and knocked Tabitha across the head. She screamed and fell back into the lake. 

"TABITHA!" Sam screamed.

**Coming up! The battle concludes! **


	54. The Battle Concludes

**The Battle Concludes**

"TABITHA!" Sam cried before he dove into the water. 

Scott swam in after him. "Is she...?" He asked as Sam brought her up.

"Still breathing yeah…" Sam panted. "But she's out cold and she's got a burn on her forehead and she could have a concussion or worse!" 

The X-Men glared at James. "You are such trouble…" Amara growled. 

"Okay Major Maple Leaf or whatever you call yourself," Sam shouted. "You just made the biggest mistake of your life!" He handed Tabitha to Scott and charged at James at full power.

"This…is gonna hurt…" James gulped seconds before Sam plowed into him. 

"Well there go a few more trees…" Tabitha moaned before she fell unconscious again. 

"Nightcrawler! Take her to the infirmary!" Scott ordered. "X-Men! Take him down!" 

_That's it! I'm out of here! _James managed to get himself loose from Sam and flew into the air. _I don't know if the battle suit can cope with this type of fighting and quite frankly I don't intend to stick around to find out! If I can buy some time by flying…_

"And just where do you think you're going Sugar?" Rogue flew up with Ororo.

"Great, two of them can fly!" James snapped aloud. "This fight is over for now, but I'll be…I can't move!" he couldn't fly off. 

"Actually four of us can fly…" Jean remarked as she held him in place. 

"Four?" James looked and saw Roberto flying ahead. He gave out a blast of energy that shocked him. "YEOW!" He fell two the ground.

Rogue flew down and grabbed him. "I oughta let you drop!" She snapped as she lowered him to the ground. 

"I can take care of myself kid!" James let out an electric volt that shocked Rogue. Rogue dropped him. He attempted to fly away but the suit shorted out and he dropped to the ground. "Ugh…Out of power."

"That's not all you're out of!" Scott snapped.

"I've got it covered Cyclops!" Amara used her powers to fry James' suit. And that wasn't all she did. "Or should I say…uncovered?"

James glared as he covered himself. The only thing he had left on was his mask. "I knew I should have worn my underwear…" He grumbled/ 

"He's nothing without his suit!" Peter chuckled. 

"Oh now I wouldn't say that," Rogue laughed. 

"What happened?" Logan woke up. "Oh…well Jimmy I see these kids caught you with your pants down! Now you were saying?" 


	55. Fallout

**Fallout**

That evening Hank was talking to Xavier. "How is Tabitha? Is she seriously damaged?" Xavier asked. 

"She'll be fine," Hank told them. "Sam got to her in time and the beam only grazed her temple. It looked worse than it actually was. So you know this James Macdonald I take it?"

"I'm afraid so," Xavier sighed. "I should have known General Chasen wouldn't have just given up. I think it's time I made a few phone calls." 

"You think he might bring in those others you told me about to rescue Macdonald?" Hank asked.

"It's a possibility," Xavier said. "Let's see if we can avoid that." 

Kitty had been secretly listening in on the whole thing. She phased out of the room. "These guys have tangled before," Kitty informed the others. "And the Professor says some guy named General Chasen is behind all this. And there's some other guys too but he didn't say who."

"But who is this guy and what does he want with Wolverine?" Jean asked. 

"And more importantly what are we gonna do with this guy?" Bobby asked. "Turn him over to the authorities?"

"The Professor told us that he doesn't want to call them yet," Scott said. "Which is just as well. I have much better idea. I think I'm going to make a phone call." 

Twenty minutes later the Misfits arrived with General Hawk and Jinx. However as soon as they arrived the adults sequestered themselves. "Great we still don't know the whole story!" Bobby grumbled. "We fought off the bad guy and they still won't tell us anything!" 

"And I thought our day was eventful," Althea shook her head. 

"Why what happened?" Kurt asked.

"NOTHING!" Lance snapped.

"Oh really?" Peter snickered. "That embarrassing huh?" 

"What did he do?" Scott grinned.

"Well technically it wasn't him…" Pietro began.

"Pietro not one word!" Wanda snapped. 

"Yeah you're not exactly in the clear on this either, **remember?**" Todd grinned maliciously. 

"You know we really should find out what's going on with Logan," Pietro said quickly. He grabbed Kitty. "Come on Kitty-Cat! Let's do some spying!" They whizzed down the hall with her. 

They found Logan and Jinx out in the garden. They were downwind so Logan couldn't smell them. Kitty put her finger to her lips to indicate silence. She phased them through a wall into some nearby bushes.

"But I don't understand what that has to do with us?" Jinx said. 

"Look it wasn't just the fact that Chasen was a jerk who wanted to use me there's more," Logan told her. "There's another reason I left, a reason even James doesn't even know. But you should."

"What? What could be so horrible that would cause you to leave them and stay with Xavier?" Jinx asked. "Didn't you want to stay with Xavier in the first place?" 

"Yes and no," Logan said. "It's…complicated. True, Charles helped me out. But it was James and Heather that really helped me to recover from my trauma. However…something happened. Something I couldn't control."

"Did you hurt someone?" Jinx asked.

"No but if I stayed I would have hurt James," Logan said.

"I don't understand," Jinx said. Logan took her hands. "Logan what did you do?" 

"I fell in love with his wife Heather," Logan admitted. 

Kitty and Pietro looked at each other. _WHAT?_ Their mouths motioned but no sound came out.

**Okay, what's the full story on Logan? I'm basing this origin on the Evolution Comic that was out previously and adding a bit of the original comic to it to form my own twisted spin! What will happen when the truth comes out? Stay tuned! **


	56. The Whole Story Explained

**The Whole Story Explained**

"I don't believe this!" Pietro whispered. "Logan fooling around with some other guy's wife? And he has the nerve to lecture us on **our **love lives? Can you believe the utter gall of the man?"

"Shut up!" Kitty hissed as she tugged on his arm. "They'll hear us." 

However Kitty lost her balance and they fell forward with a yelp. Logan glared at them. "What are you doing out here?" 

"I think its pretty obvious what they're doing," Jinx folded her arms.

"I think the question should be what intentions you have for Jinx!" Pietro said defiantly. "You…you philanderer!" 

"Now just wait a minute…" Logan snapped. 

"You have to admit he has a point," Althea popped out her head from a nearby tree. She was holding on to Todd. 

"How long have you been there?" Logan snapped.

"Not long after I found Pietro and Kitty here," Xi made himself visible. "I find it odd though you would do something so dishonorable."

"So would I!" Rogue appeared out of another bush. "Logan would never cheat on another guy!" 

"I dunno Cherie," Remy came out with her. "Amor makes a man do strange things." 

"Oh please!" Kurt popped out with Amanda. 

"Mr. Logan doesn't seem to be that type of guy!" Amanda protested. 

"Hey! Any guy can be that type of guy!" Lance appeared from some more bushes. "Trust me I know!"

"Speaking from experience Alvers?" Scott growled as he walked out of his hiding place. 

"You wanna make something out of this?" Lance snarled.

"ENOUGH!" Logan shouted. "ALL OF YOU!"

"Is there anyone in this mansion that's **not** here?" Jinx shouted. "Come on out all of you!" 

"Well Sam's with Tabby," Jamie came out. "And the others are trying to listen in on the other adults. But I can get them with this communicator." He showed them. 

"Okay I was hoping to talk about this in private but since that's **not **gonna happen I want everybody in the living room in ten minutes and I will tell all of you the whole damn story!" Logan roared. "But first I want to talk to Jinx alone! **GO NOW**!" 

"Sheesh! For an adulterer he's so touchy," Pietro grumbled as he walked away.

"DON'T CALL HIM THAT!" Rogue shouted. This started off another round of bickering. 

"You can't keep anything secret in this joint," Logan groaned.

"And I thought ninjas were good at getting out information," Jinx shook her head. "Are they all gone?"

"Not quite," Logan stomped over and revealed one of Jamie's clones. "GET OUT OF HERE!" The clone faded away. 

************************************************************************

"All right I'm glad all of you are here," Logan stepped into the living room where all the students were assembled. Storm and Jinx were there as well. "I'm gonna tell you all the whole blasted story so that no stupid rumors will go all around the mansion. But some things I am gonna say now stay right here! Get it? So don't go blabbing your mouths off to anyone! Especially our little guest that's locked up down below!" 

"So what's the story?" Bobby asked.

"It all started after I escaped the Weapon X project," Logan sighed. "I had no memory of who or what I was. I was confused. When Charles found me I was out of it a little. He knew he couldn't completely fix me on his own so he called in for help. A few old friends of his. James and Heather Hudson were both doctors experienced in dealing with mutants and worked for the Canadian government. They helped me get my head together, deal with a lot of stuff in my head." 

"Charles was also helping the Hudsons establish something called Department H," Ororo continued. "It was supposed to be a secret program dedicated to helping young mutants develop their powers for good."

"Wait a minute," Todd held up his hands. "Let me get this straight, these guys were going to run the X-Men at first?"

"That's news to me," Scott folded his arms. 

"Not exactly," Logan said. "It was just going to be a school with no military applications whatsoever. Unfortunately the Canadian government muscled in and put someone else in charge, a certain General Chasen. He wanted to use Department H to train mutants for government service, to be a branch of the Canadian Army. And he wanted me to lead it." 

"So why didn't you?" Lance asked.

"Two reasons," Logan sighed. "Number one is that Chasen is an opportunistic jerk who cares more about what mutants can do and how he can use their powers rather than helping them. He even tried to make Charles and Ororo stay against their will. Didn't work. I don't like being used." 

"And let me guess, this Heather is the other reason?" Xi asked. 

Logan took a breath. "I grew…attached to her. But I as much as I loved her I knew she loved James even more. So I never told her how I felt." 

"So you didn't do anything," Pietro felt disappointed.

"Told you!" Rogue said triumphantly. 

"So you left because it would be too painful to be around the woman you loved who was in the arms of another man?" Amara sniffed. "That is so sad!" 

"Well let's just say I didn't want to give into temptation," Logan sighed. "But yeah you got it."

"Oh that is so romantic!" Amara squealed. 

"It's stupid that's what it is," Fred grumbled.

"Shut up! What would you know about romance?" Amara snapped at him. "Oh how could we have ever doubted you?"

"I didn't," Rogue said smugly.

"Oh quit being a teacher's pet!" Jean snapped.

"Okay who else gets the irony of Jean's last statement? Raise your hands," Lance called out. Quite a few shot up. Jean looked like she was going to kill Lance. 

"Long story short I resigned," Logan interrupted before another fight broke out. "Chasen however wasn't happy about me going. And neither was James. He took it as a betrayal of our friendship and my country." 

"It wasn't exactly the most diplomatic of departures," Ororo said. "Although I do admit I enjoyed it when you sliced Chasen's tie off. Then Logan and I went with the Professor to found the Xavier Institute. The rest you know." 

"So that's it?" Pietro said. "That's boring!"

"It is not!" Amara snapped. "It's romantic and tragic! Imagine leaving your true love behind!"

"**A-hem**!" Jinx glared at her. 

"Oh…" Amara backpedaled. "Sorry Jinx I didn't mean it like that." 

Xavier wheeled in with Hawk. "Logan, I take it you've informed everyone about the history of our guest?" 

"And then some," Fred remarked. 

"I didn't have a choice!" Logan snapped. "The CIA could use these kids to help gather intelligence. They could find anything out!"

"That reminds me," Kitty turned around at Lance. "What did happen with you guys today?"

"Yeah it was something you and Pietro would find embarrassing right?" Peter grinned.

"It's no biggie," Hawk said. "It was just a typical Cobra attack that went wrong."  
Of course what Hawk said was only a half-truth. The day was a lot weirder than that. A lot weirder. 

**So what did happen to the Misfits that day? And what will happen to James? Find out in upcoming chapters! **


	57. Down at the Misfit Fishing Hole

**Down at the Misfit Fishing Hole**

That Wednesday at the Misfits had started out uneventful. After training the Misfits then went to class with their guest teacher Airtight. Five minutes later after the fire had been put out it was decided that the kids would have the rest of the day off and that Airtight would no longer be allowed to teach any chemistry classes for a long time. 

So that afternoon Roadblock and Low Light found themselves by the dock of the Joe base fishing with Todd and Xi. "We're not gonna catch anything you know." Low Light grumbled.

"The purpose of this is not to catch but to try," Roadblock explained. "It's about spending time with Toad and Xi." 

"So this is fishing with a pole," Xi observed. "Interesting. So you just sit here and wait for a fish to come and eat the bait?" 

"Yeah," Low Light nodded. "IF CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE DON'T EAT IT FIRST! TOAD KNOCK IT OFF!" 

"But these crickets are good," Todd gulped another one down. 

"Yes why are we fishing if we already have food?" Xi asked. "Is not the purpose of fishing to take the life so that we may sustain life? If we do not need the fish's life, are we not taking it for sport? And isn't that wrong?"

"Look Xi in the first place the chances of us getting a fish around here are pretty much nil to begin with," Low Light said. "Between all the activity in the harbor here and your racket I can't see how any fish would want to be here!" 

"But there is no one else in the harbor here today," Xi pointed out. "They are all on maneuvers. It is possible we can catch a fish."

"Xi even if that did happen we'll just throw the fish back," Roadblock explained.

"But isn't that cruel?" Xi asked. "If we want to spend time together wouldn't it be better to watch TV instead?"

"The kid has a point here," Low Light remarked. 

"Yeah and you don't need a pole to get a fish," Todd shot out his tongue into the water and grabbed a fish. He showed it to them. "Theee?" He said, trying to speak with a fish in his tongue. He gulped it down. "Yummy!" 

"Okay we're done," Roadblock started to pack up. "TV time!" 

"Yay!" Todd rejoiced and hopped away. They were unaware that they were being watched from the water by a Cobra sub. 

"I thought they'd never leave," Mindbender hissed. "Zandar are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be to infiltrate that base full of lunatics," Zandar grumbled.

"Just find the device and get out of there fast," Mindbender told him. "The Joes will never know what hit them!" 


	58. The Return of the Coyote

**The Return of The Coyote**

Meanwhile back at the Misfit Manor, the Triplets were happily playing around with a device imbedded in the kitchen wall. Lance was going to get a drink from the refrigerator. "What are you three maniacs doing?" He asked. 

"We're trying to fix this thing," Daria said matter of factly.

"Oh," Lance shrugged and got his soda. He was about to leave when he realized exactly what they were doing. "WAIT! DON'T" 

Suddenly the device began to glow and then…

"TA DA!" The Coyote appeared before them. "I'm ba-ack!"

"God no!" Lance groaned. "My third worst nightmare come to life…again!" 

The Coyote put his paws around Lance. "Aw come on, don't say you didn't miss me Lancey-Wancy?" 

"Fine I won't say it," Lance quipped. "But I'll make sure I won't miss this time!" He grabbed a knife from a drawer. "DIE!" 

"Uh oh…" The Coyote gulped. "Feet don't fail me now!" It ran off.

"COME BACK HERE YOU FLEA FARM FROM HELL!" Lance chased after it, swinging the knife. 

"Okay now why didn't Lance try to shut off the device instead?" Quinn asked.

"Because he's stupid that's why," Daria told her as Lance screamed some more obscenities. 

"He is not stupid," Brittany defended as something crashed in the living room. "He just doesn't always think things through." 

Up in her room Althea was reading magazines with Wanda. "Do you really want to know what the racket is about downstairs?" She asked.

"Not particularly," Wanda responded casually as she flipped the pages. 

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT GUM?! MY SHOES ARE STUCK!" Lance screamed as the ground shook. "GET ME OUT OF HERE!" 

Both girls looked at each other. "Pietro," They said at the same time.

"Close but no cigar!" The Coyote trotted into the room. "Ladies!" 

"Oh great! Who let **this **loose?" Wanda groaned.

"Five will get you ten it was my sisters," Althea said. 

"Oh come now is that any way to greet someone who sounds like your brother?" Coyote asked. "Even though my voice is much better than his." 

Lance ran in barefoot. "All right! Let me at him!" 

"Oh come on Lance," The Coyote said. "After all we've been through? Where's the love?" 

"DIE!" Lance lunged at it. 

Of course Coyote easily dodged him and sat on his back. "Oh isn't that cute? He wants to play!" He laughed as he ran off. 

"My sisters let him loose didn't they?" Althea asked.

"Bingo…" Lance groaned.

"HEY! Who painted the halls purple?" Fred called out. 

"Come on Wanda," Althea sighed. "We gotta get Lance's imagination under control before things get out of hand."

"It's a bit late for that," Wanda remarked as they left the room and saw the Coyote dancing around in a can-can outfit. "It's like watching a live action cartoon!" 

"But you gotta admit, Lance has a better imagination than one would think," Althea remarked as the Coyote dumped the outfit and ran as Lance chased him. Then he started to chase Lance on the back of a motorcycle. 

"WILL YOU TWO GIVE ME A HAND HERE?" Lance screamed. "EVEN IN MY MIND HE'S NEVER THIS BAD!" 

"Well what do you want us to do?" Wanda asked. "Hit him with a rolled up newspaper?"

"Oh yeah!" Coyote appeared before her wagging his tail. "Spank me baby! Spank me!"

"Okay this is officially sick!" Wanda groaned. 

"What is all the noise about?" Roadblock walked in with Xi, Low Light and Todd. "Oh…" 

"Hey the Coyote's back!" Todd said cheerfully. 

"And I wish he'd go away!" Lance moaned. "You have no idea what that thing puts me through when I see him in my head! It's bad enough without having to face him in the real world." 

"Actually Lance we're getting a pretty good idea of what he's like in your head," Low Light remarked as the Coyote ran out of the room and ran down the hall. He came back out with Shipwreck's socks and Shipwreck was chasing him.

"Come back here you land pirate!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"Lance remind us to give you some extra time in therapy this week," Low Light said. 

Ten minutes later, Trinity managed to shut off the device and it was decided that it had to be removed from the house one way or another before Lance had a nervous breakdown. 

"Okay, we've finally managed to move this thing out of the wall," Fred called out cheerfully.

"Yeah Fred too bad you took out a whole section of it as well," Roadblock groaned.

"Aw we needed a new window anyway," Shipwreck waved. 

"Why don't we take it to the lab?" Althea suggested.

"For once that's a good idea," Lance agreed. "And I want to see that thing dissected to pieces!" 

"Let's go to the lab kids," Roadblock said. They went to the lab where Airtight was looking for something. "Hey Airtight! We got something for you to play with!" He was about to hand the McGuffin device over to him. 

"Hold it!" Xi stopped him.

"What's wrong Xi?" Airtight asked. 

"That is not Airtight!" Xi growled. He charged at him.

'Airtight' managed to dodge the tackle but was not able to keep the mask he was wearing. "You really are a nosy little thing aren't you?" Zandar snarled. 

"Zandar?" Althea gasped. "Here?" 

"Yes and thanks for the gift!" Zandar laughed as he rushed Roadblock and grabbed the McGuffin Device. He threw a smoke bomb to cover his getaway. 

"After him!" Roadblock shouted.

"I got him!" Pietro shouted as he ran up to Zandar. However Zandar had come prepared and managed to throw another small device. It turned to a gum like substance and enveloped Pietro's feet. "NO FAIR!" 

"Playing fair is for suckers!" Zandar laughed as he managed to make his way to the dock. He jumped into the waiting Cobra sub that took off. 

By now the remaining other Joes on the base had noticed and were firing on it, but it quickly disappeared. "It's got a cloaking device!" Tunnel Rat, one of the Joes shouted. "That must be how it got past our defenses!" 

"No? Ya think?" Low Light asked sarcastically. "And with most of the other Joes away from the base it picked the perfect time to hit!" 

"A Cobra Sub at the Joe base!" Shipwreck snapped. "They've got nerve I'll give them that!" 

"We have to get the McGuffin Device back!" Roadblock said. 

"Why?" Lance asked. "They can have it!" 

"As much as I'd love to agree with you, who knows what Cobra will do," Roadblock told him. "They'll use it as some kind of weapon that's for sure. So we gotta stop it from happening!" 

"Maybe we'll get lucky and the coyote will beat us to it?" Todd asked.

"Yeah, right Toad…" Pietro scoffed. "That'll happen. And maybe I'll start wearing Jean's clothes." 

**Next: What happens when Mindbender gets impatient and starts playing with the McGuffin device on the sub? Two words: Big Mistake! **


	59. Cobra vs The Coyote

**Cobra vs. the Coyote**

"At last Cobra has the McGuffin device," Mindbender cackled as he hooked the device up to the main computer of the sub. "Now to analyze it and…" Suddenly the monitors went crazy. "What in the world…?" 

On the monitors a silver coyote appeared. "This is a test. This is only a test…Well actually its not. Do not attempt to change the channel. I have the power. I am in control. I…'_ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts! De de le de! There they are standing in a row! Big ones small ones some as big as your head…" _

"What the hell is this?" Mindbender snapped. He tried to adjust the computer but it sent out sparks. "OW!" 

"Uh uh," The Coyote waved his paw. "No touchy! No touchy!" 

"What's going on?" Zandar asked as all the Cobra alarms raised. 

"It appears the McGuffin Device has some kind of virus inside it!" Mindbender told him.

"Well that is rude!" The Coyote snapped. He materialized in front of Mindbender. "Do I call you a disease ridden ball of pus? Even though you are one I'd never say it!" 

"Well get rid of it!" Zandar snapped.

"I hate to break this Pinky," Coyote told him. "But you can't." He ran around and created a mini whirlwind. This knocked Zandar into the next room. 

"Somehow it's taken control of the sub's functions!" Mindbender yelled.

"Yeah some idiot managed to connect the McGuffin Device to the main computer where it could infect it and take over," Coyote said matter of factly. "Oh wait that idiot was you wasn't it?"

"Way to go doc!" A Cobra Soldier shouted.

"Well how was I to know that this was going to happen?" Mindbender snapped.

"Duh cause everything you do backfires on you," Coyote grinned.

"It does not!" Mindbender snapped. "I have had thousands of successes!" 

"Oh yes like the time you created an idiot emperor for Cobra," Coyote rolled his eyes. "And after the first failure kicked the bucket you had to try and make another one who gave up a life of crime for a life of cross dressing!"

"THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT!" Mindbender snapped. "THOSE IDIOT DREADNOKS GOT THE WRONG DNA!" 

"Yeah blame the Dreadnoks," Coyote said. "What kind of moron hires morons in the first place? Answer: An even bigger moron!"

"I am not a moron!" Mindbender snapped. "I have several degrees and…and what am I doing arguing with a fictional entity?"

"Moron!" The Coyote slapped him.

"HEY!" Mindbender snapped. The Coyote slapped him again. "STOP THAT!" Of course this led to the Coyote slapping him several times more. "THAT'S IT! DIE YOU!" 

"Hey I wonder how fast this sub can dive?" The Coyote grinned. He disappeared into the computer just as Mindbender made a grab for him. Mindbender fell flat on his face. 

Then the sub started to dive rapidly. "I wonder how fast I can go up?" The Coyote grinned. The sub went up. Everyone in the sub was thrown against each other. "And now I'm gonna go down again!" Again everyone was thrown against each other. 

"Sub goes up! Sub goes down!" The Coyote sang. "Sub goes up! Sub goes down! And now the sub goes round and round!"

"WE'RE UPSIDE DOWN!" One Cobra soldier screamed.

"I think I'm going to be sick!" Mindbender howled. 

"EVERYBODY SING!" Coyote shouted. "LET'S SING THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS THEME!" 

"Now I know I'm going to be sick…" Mindbender groaned. 

Back at the Joe base the Misfits were getting ready to go after the Cobra sub. "When I get my hand on those bozos I'm gonna…" Shipwreck muttered. "What's that?" 

"Hey is it me or is the sub…returning?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah and its course is a little…erratic," Althea blinked. "What is Cobra…"

"HELLLOOOO LANDLOVERS!" The Coyote could be heard on the sub's loudspeaker. 

"What in the world?" Low Light blinked as the Coyote began to sing the Spongebob Squarepants theme. 

"This might be easier than we thought," Roadblock said as the sub surfaced. 

"WE SURRENDER!" The Cobras screamed as they escaped the sub. 

"Take us to a nice jail cell!" One Cobra wearing a dress and makeup screamed.

"A nice **quiet **jail cell!" Another Cobra wearing a tutu whimpered. 

"Behold the power of Lance's imagination and Pietro's annoyance," Todd remarked. 

"Zandar's gotta be somewhere down there," Low Light motioned. "I'm going in! Cover me!" 

"With what?" Pietro asked.

"Just cover me!" Low Light groaned. They went down the sub letting the remaining Joes deal with the surrendering Cobra prisoners. "I don't believe this!"

"He even painted the inside," Lance looked around. "Okay where did he get the paint?" 

"Who knows?" Todd remarked. "Oh man we should have brought the camera!" 

Mindbender was tied to a torpedo with duct tape. The Coyote was doing an Irish jig around him. "_If nautical nonsense be something you wish! Spongebob Squarepants! Then drop on the deck and glub like a fish!" _The Coyote sang. 

"No more Spongebob Squarepants…" Zandar was in a fetal position in a corner. "No more Spongebob Squarepants…" 

"Take it back…" Mindbender moaned. "For the love of god please **take it back!**" 

"Or better yet destroy that evil machine for the good of all humanity!" Zandar shouted. "Did I really just say that?" 

"What did I tell you?" Todd grinned. "You guys should listen to me more often." 

"Well it's time to say goodbye to new friends," Lance told the Coyote.

"Good idea!" Coyote grabbed Zandar and managed to shove him, Mindbender and the torpedo in a torpedo tube. "Fire in the hole!" Coyote called out as he shot them out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Both men screamed as they were shot out and disappeared over the horizon. 

"Looks like Team Stupid is blasting off again!" Coyote said gleefully. 

"Well I'll be darned," Pietro blinked. "The Coyote did get rid of them." 

"Hey Pietro I saw this one outfit of Jean's that would look so fetching on you," Todd snickered. 

"Oh shut up Wart Boy," Pietro grumbled. 

"Hey that was fun!" Coyote cheered as they went to the main room where the device was stored. "Can we do that again? Can we? Can we?" 

"Sorry pal but for the good of humanity, you gotta be put to sleep," Low Light raised his rifle.

"NOT AGAIN!" The Coyote howled as Low Light blasted the device. The Coyote fizzled out.

Half an hour later the Misfits returned home. "I hope those guys at the computer research lab never let that thing out again!" Lance groaned.

"So do we," Pietro groaned. 

"Well I take it you guys had a fun day," Cover Girl and the Blind Master met them.

"Fun isn't even the word for it," Lance groaned. "Humiliating yes, painful, yes…" 

"Hey we just got a phone call from the X-Mansion," Cover Girl said. "You won't believe what happened over there today."

"Couldn't have been as bad as ours," Wanda groaned.

"I think Tabitha would disagree with you on that," Cover Girl said. 

"And what's more you won't believe what they want from us," Blind Master grinned. 


	60. Don't Mess With the Mutants

**Don't Mess With the Mutants**

"I have to hand it to you Summers," Lance shook his head. "This idea of yours was worthy of a Misfit." Several X-Men and Misfits were outside the room where James was being held prisoner. 

"I'll take that as a complement," Scott grinned. 

"NO! NOT THE PINK RIBBONS! ANYTHING BUT THE PINK RIBBONS!" James could be heard screaming. 

"Siccing the Triplets on him," Todd shook his head. "Now that is cruel. I like it." 

"It's also very inventive," Hawk chuckled as he, Logan and Xavier made their way towards them. 

"So are you guys gonna take him?" Logan asked Hawk. 

"Well…no," Hawk grinned. "Since this was a covert operation the Jugglers have decided to handle this a different way. They are willing not to make this an international incident provided that the Canadian government shall we say…makes a few concessions that we don't need to go into right now." 

"So who's going to come pick him up?" Logan asked.

"Some of his own people are coming…unofficially of course later tomorrow," Hawk told them. "Would you mind holding him until them? The Jugglers don't want us to do it or any official authorities so that no one will get wind of this. I will send a few of my men to help watch him, unofficially of course."

"You want us to baby sit Jimmy boy?" Logan asked.

"Well he did try to kidnap you so I figured the punishment would fit the crime," Hawk grinned. "And in exchange for your assistance certain members of the Jugglers will help nudge things in your direction should anything come up if you get my meaning." 

"We help them out now, they'll help us later," Xavier understood. "Well as long as he's not a danger to any of my students…"

A loud scream could be heard. "Something tells me **that's** not going to be a problem," Hawk grinned. "I think I'll let the Misfits and Jinx handle this one." He flinched as he heard another loud scream. "Maybe we should check on the girls?"

"Well I left them with Rogue to make sure things don't get too out of hand," Logan said.

"WHAT IS THIS? BLACK LIPSTICK! GET THIS OFF OF ME!" James shouted. 

"You might have a point," Logan shrugged. He went into the room and nearly choked. There was James, wearing jeans, a blue shirt and gobs of makeup all over his face. He also had pink ribbons in his hair. "Why Jamie darlin', you've grown to be a fine young lady."

"Very funny Logan!" James snapped. 

"Don't look at me," Logan grinned. "They wanted to do a lot worse to you!"

"Let's just say you're just lucky we decided to put pants on you," Rogue snapped. 

"Well I have this nice blue dress that would look good on him," Daria remarked. 

"Logan I've had enough of this!" James shouted. "I order you to let me go this minute! You have no right to keep me here like this!" 

"Oh please," Brittany glared at him. She turned to her sisters and Rogue. "Do you believe this guy?" 

"Listen bub," Logan glared at him. "I didn't ask you to come down here to get me. You invaded this school all on your own and hurt one of my students! Accident or no I don't take kindly to that."

"Is she all right?" James asked, his tone had softened. 

"Just a slight burn and mad as hell but yes," Logan folded his arms. "Point is, you're our 'guest' here until your ride comes to get you tomorrow. By then you will never want to set foot on this estate again or come near me as long as you live!"

"And you'll make sure of that?" James glared at him.

"No…" Logan gave him an evil grin. He opened the door revealing all the students waiting outside. "But they will." 

Logan took great delight in watching James' jaw drop. "Okay kids, don't kill or maim him significantly, other than that…use your imaginations." 

"OH I HAVE GOT QUITE A FEW THINGS ON MY MIND!" Tabitha stormed into the room with a bandage on her forehead. 

"You are so dead…" Jamie giggled at James. 

"And may god have mercy on your soul," Hank snickered. "For nobody else here will." 

**Next: An escape! But not who you think it's going to be! A new character is gonna show up soon! Who is it and what is her relationship to the mutants? Stay tuned for the excitement. **

And for those who are confused on the Vindicator/Guardian thing…James Hudson started out calling himself Vindicator before…well let's just say a major incident. (I'm not going to spoil it for those who don't know.) Then Heather donned the suit and called herself Vindicator. When James came back then he changed his name to Guardian and Heather kept the name Vindicator. 

Confusing isn't it? 


	61. The Great Escape

**The Great Escape**

Somewhere deep in the Midwest there is a prison. This is no ordinary prison. This is a prison where certain people go where the government doesn't want people to find them. Mob bosses, assassins, even a few ninjas and cult leaders populate this place. However there is one prisoner that even the most hardened inmate fears. One prisoner that even the warden is afraid of. 

And now that prisoner has just managed to blow a hole in the wall.

"HOW THE HELL DID PRISONER 3456 GET A BAZOOKA?" The warden screamed at his underlings.

"Friends on the outside smuggled it in," One of the guards told him.

"AGAIN?" The warden groaned. 

"YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A loud voice laughed as a large truck blasted through the prison gates. 

"Sir all our cars and wagons have been damaged!" Another guard told the warden. "The other prisoners somehow must have helped incapacitate them!" 

"Dear god in heaven," The warden groaned. "She's loose!" 

Prisoner 3456 laughed maniacally as she drove to freedom. She pulled a map out of her pocket and looked at it. "Bayville here I come!" She laughed.

**Who is this person? Well you're gonna have to wait, but have no fear. She'll return and all will be revealed! **


	62. Oh What a Night!

**Oh What a Night**

"So how's Jimmy boy been doing?" Logan asked Jinx. He and Hawk were in the kitchen talking and having some coffee.

"Well after his little makeover by Rogue and the Triplets, Tabitha let him have a piece of her mind," Jinx grinned. "Not to mention a little bit of her time bombs. Nothing serious but let's say he's having a hard time sitting. Don't worry I got it all on tape." 

"That sounds good," Logan laughed.

"Then Todd came in and was asking him a lot of questions but he wouldn't stop to let him answer any of them," Jinx went on. "He did that for about an hour. Then Multiple got into the act. Then Jean decided to give him a lecture on being responsible."

"Ouch," Logan squirmed. "Now that is painful." 

"Just when she was winding down Kitty decided to feed him some of her home made muffins," Jinx finished. "He's currently in the infirmary." 

"I hope Mr. Hudson will be alive by the time his handlers pick him up tomorrow," Hank winced. "Who is going to pick him up by the way?"

"Probably some old friends of mine," Logan sipped his coffee. "This ought to be very interesting." 

"Not half as interesting as what's going on in the infirmary," Pietro zipped in. "I thought our guest was getting lonely so I put Polly and Lockheed in there as well. They are currently 'playing' with our friend." 

"James is gonna end up scarred for life at this rate," Logan shook his head. 


	63. A Car Ride From Canada

**A Car Ride From Canada**

"What was James **thinking **when he went down there?" Heather snapped as she drove the van. 

"I told him we should have taken the full team," A dwarf with black hair and a black beard grumbled in the seat next to him. "But nooooooo! He had to do it his way!" 

"You know James will always go his own way Puck," A Native American man with long hair spoke. "That is his nature." 

"Will you please stop using that pseudo-shaman psychobabble?" Puck groaned. "Michael you know it gives me a headache."

"Speaking of headaches," Michael Twoyoungmen motioned to the back seat of the van. "You should try sitting back here some time."

"Look! I don't understand why we couldn't at least fly down there!" A nineteen-year-old boy with dark hair asked in a French Canadian accent. "I could have run there and back by now!"

"We've been over this Jean-Paul," Heather sighed. "We need to be as inconspicuous as possible. This is orders from the top." 

"Well you know what I think about that?" Jean-Paul made a gesture with his finger.

"Must you be so crude?" A young woman nearly identical to him asked. She had medium length black hair and also spoke with a French Canadian accent. 

"You think everything is crude Jeanne-Marie," Jean-Paul snorted. 

"Blame my upbringing brother," She looked at him. "And considering who my twin is I like to think I inherited the better virtues."

"Ah the old 'evil twin' excuse," Jean-Paul mocked. "Are you so sure that it is I who am the evil one? You've been known to do a few things that are not quite on the side of the angels."

"Are you calling me a liar?" Jeanne-Marie snapped.

"Pants on fire, hanging from a telephone wire!" Jean-Paul mocked.

"Why you…" She growled.

"THAT'S ENOUGH YOU TWO!" Heather snapped. "Don't make me pull over this van!" 

"Sasquatch was wise not to come," Michael sighed.

"No room in the van," Puck snickered. "Hey didn't we pass that same tree?" 

"Don't tell me we're lost again?" Heather groaned.

"Okay I won't tell you," Michael said. "Of course if **someone **hadn't thrown out our maps and insisted we take the van without the Onstar features…" 

"Hey those maps were out of date anyway!" Jean-Paul snapped. "I knew where we were going!"

"No you didn't that's why I had to take over driving," Heather sighed.

"Ha! Loser!" Jeanne-Marie laughed.

"Am not!" Jean-Paul snapped.

"Are too!" 

"James when I get my hands on you," Heather groaned. "You are so dead!" 


	64. Tabitha Gets Another Headache

**Tabitha Gets Another Headache**

Early Thursday morning found the X-Men and Misfits, Amanda and Joes a bleary, but strangely cheerful bunch. Knowing there was someone even more miserable than they were helped. "I swear how was I supposed to know that you were in the infirmary the same time as Polly and Lockheed and James?" Pietro pouted.

"Hello?" Tabitha pointed to her bandage. "Remember this? As much as I loved them dive bombing Captain Canada and charring him they kept me up half the night!" 

"They were pretty loud weren't they?" Hawk nodded as he ate breakfast.

"He's here too?" Tabitha asked Hank.

"All the Misfits are here and Hawk and Jinx," Hank replied. "He and Logan played pool all night."

"Only until one in the morning," Logan waved. "Hey Kitty isn't bringing James his breakfast now is he?" 

"Nah we're bringing him here," Todd wheeled in James who was tied to one of Xavier's wheelchairs. "Thought he should be here enjoying the festivities."

"Okay can you at least untie my arms or something so I can feed myself?" James groaned. "Obviously I'm not going to be able to do anything with all of you around!" 

"Now let's not be all cranky," Todd said picking up a spoon. "Here comes the airplane!" 

"Logan!" James shouted. 

"Toad that's not gonna be necessary," Logan said. "Have some donuts Jimmy!" He tossed some at him and one landed in James' mouth. 

"Hey I wanna play this game!" Sam called out. Soon several people were tossing donuts at James.

"ALL RIGHT ENOUGH!" Xavier snapped. "I don't want **another **food fight this week if I can help it! Or at the very least not one this early in the morning. So stop throwing donuts and untie him!" 

The doorbell rang. "Tabitha could you answer the door please?" Xavier sighed. "I believe it's for you." 

Tabitha shrugged and went to the door. There on the doorstep was a woman with blonde hair and a pink T-shirt and jeans. She looked older than she actually was. "Mom? What are you doing here?" Tabitha gasped.

"Tabitha?" Samantha looked at her bleary-eyed. "I need a place to crash for a day or so. Can I stay here?"

"Are you out of your mind?" Tabitha asked. 

"Oh let her stay," Xavier said in a resigned tone as he wheeled into the lobby. "Everybody else on the planet comes and goes around here whenever they feel like it. Why not?" 

"Hey Charley I think we're out of donuts," Shipwreck walked in. "Some of them are kind of stuck to the ceiling." 

"Hello there," Samantha grinned at Shipwreck. "I remember you. You're that handsome sailor I met a while ago."

"Oh god…" Tabitha groaned. 

"Well isn't this interesting," Pietro snickered as he ran in. 

**Next: As Samantha moves in, Ororo has mixed feelings. Then some news really sends her into a panic! **


	65. Ororo's Range of Emotions

**Ororo's Range of Emotions**

"Who is that?" Ororo asked as Shipwreck led a blonde woman to the breakfast table.

"Everyone this is my mom," Tabitha announced.

"Samantha Smith at your service," She said. "Oh lots of faces…"

"Yeah I'll introduce you to everyone sweet cheeks," Shipwreck said. 

He started to introduce everyone Kitty nudged Ororo. "Can you like believe her? She just latched onto Shipwreck's arm just like that! Storm you must be feeling awful!" 

"Actually I'm very happy!" Ororo said. "At least now maybe Shipwreck will get off my back!"

"And maybe now you can ask Mr. McCoy on a date!" Kitty said cheerfully.

"Not this again!" Ororo groaned. 

"But you two are like so perfect together!" Kitty babbled. 

"If this is any more nonsense about those stupid mutant astrology signs…" Ororo warned. 

"It's not just that!" Kitty told her. "A lot of us really think the two of you would get along perfect! Just give it a chance that's all I'm asking!"

"And all I'm asking is that you stop meddling in my private affairs," Ororo said.

"You don't have any affairs," Tabitha told her. "That's the problem! Unlike my mom! I can't believe this!"

"What's wrong?" Althea asked her. "Your mom seems okay to me."

"This doesn't bother you?" Tabitha asked, pointing at Shipwreck and Samantha laughing and talking.

"Not really," Althea shrugged. "Hey if worse comes to worse it wouldn't be the first time I get a psychotic sister." 

"WHAT?" Tabitha yelped.

Ten minutes after breakfast Ororo was enjoying a Shipwreck free morning when she received another shock. She passed the study where Xavier, Logan and Hank were discussing something. "Oh Ororo there was a message on my machine for you," Xavier called out to her.

"Message?" Ororo asked as she went into the study. 

"Yes your sister said that she's back from her trip and will visit you and Evan tomorrow," Charles said. 

"Evan?" Hank looked at her. "Why would she think Evan is still here?"

"Why indeed?" Charles raised an eyebrow. "Ororo?" 

"Oh god Charles I am in such trouble…" Ororo moaned. 


	66. Keeping Secrets Are We?

**Keeping Secrets Are We?**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T TELL YOUR SISTER ABOUT EVAN?" Logan shouted.

"Say it a little louder why don't you?" Ororo snapped. "I don't think they heard you in the west wing of the mansion!" 

"I thought you told them long ago what happened?" Hank asked.

"Most of it," Ororo said. "I told them his mutation had accelerated and he went somewhere to work on his powers." 

"So where do they think he's been all this time?" Hank asked.

"Camping…" Ororo replied weakly. "In Colorado…" 

"Let me get this straight," Xavier pinched his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "You…one of my most trusted faculty and the most honest woman I know, have purposely deceived your own sister about your nephew's whereabouts these past few months?" 

"Yes," Ororo sighed. "Well what was I supposed to say? 'Vi, your son is now living in the sewers? It seems I couldn't take care of him after all. He wasn't happy at the mansion so he preferred to run off with a bunch of strangers?' You don't know my sister! Remember, she's a lawyer!" 

"Oh…" Xavier thought about this for a second. "That's right. I see your point." 

"We're gonna be sued again," Hank groaned. "How many lawsuits does that make now?"

"I don't know but my lawyers do," Xavier grumbled. "Not that they're complaining. I swear every time I call them up and tell them of our latest problem I hear somebody screaming, some accountant singing and dancing for joy in the background and somebody shouting 'Here we go again so break out the champagne'!" 

"So I guess we'll have to keep Evan's whereabouts a secret huh?" Logan asked.

"I'm afraid we have to," Xavier sighed. 

"I know I should have told them but I was so sure Evan would be back by now," Ororo sighed. 

"Well the important thing is to get through the next couple of days with as few disasters as possible," Xavier said. "Speaking of which where is Mr. Hudson now?"

"In the infirmary again," Hank sighed. "Kitty decided to make him an omelet." 

"Oh lord…" Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose. He sent out a general telepathic call for an announcement. Soon nearly everyone in the Mansion responded with the exception of James and Logan. Logan decided to look after James in the infirmary. "Students and guests…I have a few announcements to make. First this afternoon members of Alpha Flight, the Canadian Special Forces team will be here to pick up Mr. Hudson. Now despite our initial meeting please try to be friendly with them."

"Of course some of them have already been friendly to them," Pietro snickered.

"You're not gonna start **that **again are you?" Rogue snapped. 

"We may have some more visitors this weekend dropping by," Xavier said. "Like Ororo's sister. So please be on your best behavior." 

"Oh by the way if anybody asks Evan is currently residing in Colorado working on his powers," Hank spoke. "Not living in the sewers with the Morlocks." 

"WHAT?" Nearly everyone in the room gasped. 

"Where would they get a stupid idea like that?" Lance asked. Then he looked at Ororo. "You're kidding me!"

"It just sort of got out of hand…" Ororo cringed. 

"You told a lie," Todd said innocently. "That's bad." 

"Like you never tell lies every day of the week?" Kitty snapped at him.

"Yeah but look at my upbringing," Todd pointed out. "Pre-Misfits of course."

"Not to mention during the Misfits," Scott snapped. "But he does have a point. I mean Storm I'd never expect you to do something like this." 

"Can you say 'hypocrite'?" Pietro snickered. "I knew you could." 

"Hey don't judge her like that! You don't know the whole story," Remy snapped.

"Yeah we do," Pietro looked at him. "Evan's powers went nuts thanks to the Power 8. He ran off to the sewers with the Morlocks because he didn't think he fit in with you guys any more. She lied about it. What's to know?" 

"Like she's the only one keeping secrets from her family," Kitty huffed.

"If my folks knew half the stuff I do here they'd disown me," Bobby grumbled. 

"Yeah I can imagine your folks wouldn't be happy hearing about you still dating Lance," Tabitha said to Kitty. "Or did you tell them you're only dating Petey?" 

"My folks don't know about either Lance or Peter! And they certainly haven't heard much about Lockheed!" Kitty told them. 

"Much?" Tabitha asked. 

"I told them Lockheed was a rare reptile," She shrugged. 

"Well that's not **that** far from the truth," Kurt admitted. 

"Quite an interesting place here Tabby," Samantha shook her head. 

"This is turning out to be a real parent's weekend around here," Jinx remarked as the doorbell rang. "Anybody else coming that we don't know about?" 

"Who knows?" Hank sighed. 

Jinx opened the door and found herself looking at a beautiful red haired woman wearing sunglasses and a designer outfit. "I'm from Alpha Flight. Is my husband here?" She asked. 

"Hello…" Jinx's eyes narrowed. "You must be Heather."

Pietro popped his head out. "Oooh! I smell a catfight coming on!" He snickered to himself. 


	67. Say Hello to Alpha Flight

**Say Hello to Alpha Flight**

The X-Men and Misfits soon greeted their guests in the living room. "Everyone this is Alpha Flight," Xavier said. "This is Heather Hudson, Vindicator's wife."

"Oh we all know about you," Pietro snickered. Wanda elbowed him. 

"Well this over here is Puck," Heather introduced the team. "That's Michael Twoyoungman whom we call Shaman. He's a mystic."

"Cool," Lance nodded. 

"Then we have the twins here," Heather introduced. "Jean-Paul and Jeanne-Marie Beaubier affectionately known as Northstar and Aurora. They're mutants like you."

"Interesting," Pietro cocked his eyebrow. He used his speed to go up to Jeanne-Marie. "So you're a twin too. And like me you're the cute one. So what's your mutation?" 

"You are a fast one aren't you?" Jeanne-Marie grinned.

"Fastest there is baby," Pietro grinned. "Call me Quicksilver." 

"Well I might be even faster," She used her super speed to move out of his way just as he started to put his arm around her. Then she zoomed back to the van outside, grabbed a water balloon, went inside, filled it up and doused him. 

"What?" He sputtered. "She's got super speed too?" 

"Great, two speed demons in the world," Lance rolled his eyes.

"Three actually…" Jean-Paul ran around him and joined his sister. 

"He's got super speed too?" Pietro gasped. "How is that possible?" 

"Oh come on Pietro there's more than one telepath in the world," Althea waved. "It is possible for different people to have the same mutation you know." 

"That's not all we can do," Jean-Paul grinned.

"The twins can both manipulate light and fly," Puck told them.

"What?" Pietro gasped. "I can't do that! No fair!" 

"Interesting," Xi looked at them. "You are twins and have similar mutations, but Pietro and Wanda are twins and yet their mutations are different."

"I think the fact that Magneto screwed around with their DNA when they were young might have had something to do with it," Michael informed him. "We were given files on all of you just before we left so we know all about you guys."

"And you still sent only him?" Bobby pointed out James who was being escorted by Hawk and Logan. 

"He left on his own," Heather put her hands on her hips angrily. "James! You have a lot of explaining to do!" 

"Heather thank god you're here!" James breathed a sigh of relief. "You have got to get me out of this nuthouse!" 

"James I don't really want to talk to you right now," Heather snapped. Then she saw Logan. "Logan…"

"Hello Heather," Logan said.

"I'm sorry about all this," Heather apologized. 

"Well too late to do anything about that," Jinx said testily. "So now that you've got your husband back I suppose that you'll all be going back to Canada now. What a shame. And we were all getting along so well too." 

"Well actually," Xavier said. "I'd like to invite Alpha Flight to stay for the rest of the day." 

"What?" Jinx glared at him. 

"I think despite our initial encounter it would be good for all teams to get to know each other," Xavier said.

"Not one word Pietro," Wanda glared at him. 

"That's not a bad idea actually," Heather sighed. "Logan would you mind if we went somewhere to talk? Privately?"

"Uh…" Logan looked back and forth at Heather and Jinx. "I guess…" 

Jinx glared daggers at Logan and Heather as they left. "Well this is going to be an interesting afternoon," Pietro snickered. 

**Next: As the two teams get to know each other, jealousy rears it's ugly head! **


	68. Tea Time Will Never be the Same Again

**Tea Time Will Never Be the Same Again**

An hour later Xavier and the others were out in the garden patio. "Holding an impromptu tea party," Hank shook his head. "This is interesting."

"Even better now that the tea has something stronger in it," Shipwreck grinned as he gulped some tea down. Obviously it was mixed with something else.

"Whoo Hoo! Let's party!" Samantha was dancing on a table. 

"Mom! This is so embarrassing!" Tabitha groaned. 

"Welcome to my world," Althea said. "Duck!" They dodged an erratically flying Lockheed who happily set a small bush on fire. 

"SHIPWRECK DID YOUR PARROT GET MY DRAGON DRUNK?" Kitty shouted. 

"Well they aren't the only ones," Tabitha groaned. 

"Nor will they be the last," Hank sighed. "Anybody wanna…?"

"Right behind you," Puck said following him. "You must have scotch delivered by the case!" 

The members of Alpha Flight were spread around. Heather was sitting next to Logan, making Jinx unhappy as she sat next to them. James was sitting next to Xavier and Ororo. Michael was talking with Spirit and Lance. Jeanne-Marie was flirting with several of the X-Boys, much to the annoyance of several X-Girls. Jean Paul was sitting with some of the Misfits. 

"So you're a teacher here?" Heather asked Logan. "I can hardly believe it."

"Yes Logan is full of surprises isn't he?" Jinx remarked sweetly. "I mean you never know what he's going to do next…or what pops up out of his past." 

Logan shot Jinx a look. "Uh…Jinx do you want to take a walk or something?"

"Yes I'd love to," Jinx then went over and grabbed Logan's arm, pulling him away from the table to a corner of the garden.

"Okay Jinx what the hell is your problem?" Logan snapped. "You know it's a good thing almost everybody is watching Shipwreck and Mrs. Smith getting drunk and dodging the flying lizard to notice how nuts you're acting!" 

"Well I'm sorry but it's hard for me to stay calm while my boyfriend's ex love of his life is in the same area!" Jinx snapped. "Particularly when he's spending all his time with her!" 

"Wait a minute…You're jealous?" Logan gasped.

"Damn right I am!" Jinx snapped. 

"Mariko I thought we've been over this," Logan said. "Obviously nothing is going to happen."

"Well maybe you wish it would happen," Jinx muttered.

"What?"

"I saw the look in **both **of your eyes so don't tell me I'm acting irrational!" Jinx snapped. "I am a ninja you know! I notice things!" 

"Heather is not…"

"Oh yes she is! And you know it!" Jinx snapped. 

"She's in love with James, that's why I left!"

"Maybe she's not in love with him as she thinks she is," Jinx said. "Or maybe she's bored! It happens Logan! I'm not going to lose you without a fight!" She stormed away.

"Mariko…" Logan rolled his eyes and followed her.

Unbeknownst to them they had been watched. "I told you something good was going on," Pietro smirked to Jean-Paul, Todd, Althea and Wanda. "I've got a nose for scandal."

"Well that explains why Logan left then," Jean-Paul sighed. "I knew there was something more to it."

"Told ya," Todd nodded. 

"Yes there's always a lot of fun and romance to be found here," Pietro grinned. "You know you and I have a lot in common. I'll bet if we ever got loose around the city all the girls would line up to date the two of us! No female would be safe!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Jean-Paul shook his head.

"Oh come on," Pietro said. "So which girl do you like around here!"

"He'd better not say Al," Todd grumbled.

"Don't worry she's safe," Jean-Paul said. 

"So you do like someone," Pietro crowed as he folded his arms. "Who is she?"

"There's no girl okay," Jean-Paul snapped.

"Why not? What's wrong with them?" Todd asked. "Well besides the obvious insanity." 

"It's not them, it's me. I'm gay…" Jean Paul admitted softly. 

"Say what?" Pietro looked at him. "Oh…Well…then which guy are you attracted to?" 

Jean-Paul looked at the others. "He takes things very well doesn't he?" 

"Considering our past, very little shocks him," Wanda remarked. "Or us."

"It doesn't bother you?" Jean-Paul asked.

"Please," Todd waved. "We live with a guy who doesn't even **have **a gender. Why would it bother us?" 

"No gender at all?" Jean-Paul blinked. "How is that possible?"

"I thought you knew all about us?" Todd asked.

"Just your powers but not much of your backgrounds," Jean-Paul admitted. 

"Well Xi is a genetically engineered mutant," Wanda told him. 

"Oh, I thought something was odd about him," Jean-Paul admitted. "But I just thought he was…like me." 

"I don't think there's anybody like Xi," Todd admitted. "But he does like to cuddle." 

"Don't ask," Pietro responded to Jean-Paul's questioning look. "So who do you like!"

"Pietro I've only just met you people!" Jean-Paul snapped.

"Yeah but you must have some idea," Pietro said. "It's Scott isn't it? He does give off an odd vibe sometimes."

"Look who's talking," Todd grumbled.

"What is that crack supposed to mean?" Pietro snapped.

"Well you have to admit that sometimes you do act a little fruity," Todd snapped. "No offense JP. But you should see some of the stuff this guy does!"

"Okay just because a guy likes fashion, spa treatments and takes care of how he looks does not make him out to be gay!" Pietro snapped. "I don't know why you always rag me on about that! I am one hundred percent he-man." He looked at his nails. "Darn! I need a manicure! This clear nail polish comes off way too easy!" 

"And I thought my twin had mental problems," Jean-Paul looked at Wanda.

"Actually…" Todd snickered. 

Wanda hit him on the head. "Not one word Toad!" She snapped. 

"Ow!" Todd rubbed his head.

"Well honey you do need reminders on how to keep your little mouth shut sometimes," Althea remarked. "Want me to kiss it and make it better?"

"Okay!" Todd beamed as she kissed him on the lips. 

"So who do you think is cute?" Pietro asked. 

"Just answer the question," Wanda sighed. "He won't shut up until you do." 

"Fine," Jean-Paul sighed. "This is hypothetical mind you. I kind of like the one that can create ice. Just a little. Nothing much." 

"BOBBY? YOU LIKE BOBBY? THE HUMAN FREEZE MACHINE? WHAT'S HE GOT THAT I DON'T?" Pietro shouted. 

"Will you keep your voice down?" Wanda grabbed him by the wrist and made him quiet down. "You're not gay anyway!"

"So? I still want to be the most attractive one in the place!" Pietro snapped.

"Do you **ever **listen to yourself?" Althea groaned. 

"You know he loves the sound of his own voice," Wanda said. "But it's the words he says that never really register!" 

"Look it's a ridiculous question anyway," Jean-Paul told him. "Bobby's a nice kid but he's only fifteen, I'm nineteen. He's a bit young for me."

"He'll be sixteen in a few weeks," Todd told him. "Then it'll be only 3 years difference. And you can wait until he's older anyway. No big deal. I mean me and Al are waiting until we're older."

"It does make it more romantic to promise yourself to someone," Althea sighed as she looked at Todd. Then she glared to the others. "Don't tell my father I said that!" 

"Maybe we should get them together?" Pietro thought.

"You people are insane you know that?" Jean-Paul remarked. 

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Todd remarked.

***********************************************************************

"So these are your students?" James asked as he looked around. 

"Uh not all of them," Xavier winced as he saw Fred and Xi eat their way through nearly everyone's plate. "Some of them are from GI Joe. The more…eccentric ones." 

"You mean like him?" James pointed out to Bobby making a huge ice sculpture of Jeanne-Marie.

"No he's one of mine," Xavier admitted. 

"What about him?" James pointed to Kurt who was doing acrobatic tricks to amuse Amanda and the Triplets. He was juggling with his tail.

"He's mine too," Xavier said. 

"And them?" James pointed to Jamie running amok with his clones. Ray was chasing them all unsuccessfully.

"Yes well…" Xavier was trying to put a positive spin on things. "They are all full of sugar right now." 

"That's not all some people are full of!" James looked and saw Shipwreck and Samantha dancing on the table. Ororo was trying to stop them without any luck. Logan and Jinx walked back. "Logan will you please explain to me why the hell you left Department H to live in this madhouse?" 

This caused everyone to notice. "Here we go…" Lance shook his head. 

"James let's not go into this again," Heather remarked. "It's obvious Logan wasn't happy."

"More like he couldn't be happy," Pietro whispered to Todd. They had wandered back to the scene. 

"I can understand how you feel about Chasen," James told him. "But for you to turn your back on your country and your friends. I don't know how. You betrayed me! When you left it felt like you reached into my heart and pulled it out! After everything Heather and I did for you, you just walked out on us!" 

"I had my own life to live," Logan snapped. "And I wasn't going to be anyone's property!"

"No you just didn't want to face any responsibility," James snapped. "You put your selfish attitudes over our friendship!" 

"Boy you really are something pal," Todd snapped. "Did you ever think that Wolverine left to preserve your friendship pal?"

"What?" James looked at Todd. "What are you talking about?"

"Well I mean would you have preferred for Wolverine and your wife to have an affair or something?" Todd snapped. "Oops…" 

"WHAT?" James shouted. 

"Way to go Toad…" Logan winced.


	69. Alpha Fights

**Alpha Fights**

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?" James glared at Todd then Logan. "IS THIS TRUE?" 

"Toad you are going to be a frog pancakes when I get through with you!" Logan shouted. 

"James nothing happened!" Heather told him. 

"YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?" James shouted. 

"Not exactly…" Heather sighed.

"That's because you had feelings for him too," Jinx glared at her.

"So that's why you've been so hostile to me all day?" Heather snapped.

"You'd be hostile too if someone was putting the moves on your man!" Jinx snapped.

"I did not…" Heather snapped.

"Oh please!" Jinx snapped.

"Well it seems she's not the only one," Rogue glared at Jeanne-Marie who was making eyes at Remy and Scott.

"Yeah," Jean growled. 

"Catfight! Catfight!" Pietro chanted. 

"There is not going to be any catfight!" Ororo snapped.

"There will be if a certain French slut doesn't stop pawing my boyfriend!" Jean shouted. 

"And mine!" Rogue snapped.

"Oh really?" Jeanne-Marie glared at them. "I do not see a bill of sale on them!" 

At this time James was glaring at Logan and Jinx was glaring at Heather. "How could you betray me like this?" James shouted.

"He didn't. That's why he left!" Lance called out.

"You are not helping Lance!" Kitty snapped. 

"WAK! LOVE! BETRAYAL! FILM AT ELEVEN!" Polly squawked as he flew around. 

"Oh dear," Michael sighed. "At this time it seems we must be flexible and bend like the reed when the storm approaches." 

"The wise man knows when it is time to allow the wind to howl and the storm to rage," Spirit agreed. 

"What did they say?" Ray asked Lance.

"It means there's gonna be a fight so you might as well sit back and enjoy it," Lance grinned. 

"You know Scott I think we need to go make some coffee," Remy tried to get away.

"Good idea," Scott gulped. "I'll help you." 

"Oh wait," Jeanne-Marie grabbed their arms. "Please stay!"

"Hands off the merchandise sister!" Jean shouted.

"I'll hold her down! You hit her!" Rogue said. "If I do it I may kill her with my strength!" 

"I don't have a problem with that!" Jean told her.

"No fighting!" Ororo shouted. "You two!" She tried to quell the bickering between Logan, Jinx, Heather and James. 

"Is everybody happy?" Puck laughed as he and Hank sauntered outside, currently soused. "Uh oh…" They watched as Jeanne-Marie sailed across the table. 

"Apparently not," Hank sighed as Jean-Paul started to fight in defense of his sister. Soon all the X-Men were fighting with either the two Alpha Flight teens or betting on the fight. The Misfits were enjoying the fight between the two couples. 

James screamed and tackled Logan. Heather tried to stop him while Jinx tried to tackle Heather as Logan tried to stop her. Soon all four of them were tangled up and fighting each other. Ororo was now screaming at Spirit and Michael to do something but they were calmly ignoring her and having a drink. Until she started up her lightning. This prompted Lance to defend Spirit and Kitty to try and help Ororo. This prompted those X-Men that weren't fighting the Alpha Flight twins to get into a fight with the Misfits. Both Puck and Hank were trying to quell the fighting but ended up getting caught in the middle as well. 

Amanda was comforting Xavier. "Come now Professor it's not that bad!" 

"I don't know why we can't get along! Please tell me why the hell we can't all just get along!" Xavier shouted. "WILL ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF?" He was about to send them a psychic blast but a stray shoe hit him on his head and knocked him out cold. 

"Well something tells me it will be quite a while before these groups get together again," Shipwreck shook his head as he and Samantha watched the melee. 

"Too bad they couldn't keep their heads clear like we could," Samantha hiccuped. "Pass me some more of that special tea will ya?" 


	70. Miss Match

**Miss Match**

"Well now that Alpha Flight has hit the road at least the mansion should be a lot less crowded," Rogue grumbled later that evening. 

"And at least we're not gonna get punished for what happened," Amara sighed. 

"How could we? Logan and the other adults were just as responsible," Kitty said. "Besides at least the Misfits are not coming over tomorrow."

"Yeah we get a whole day's break from their insanity," Rogue said. "I hope the Joes train 'em extra hard!"

"And with Shipwreck not annoying Storm maybe now I can get Beast and her together!" Kitty squealed. 

"Kitty you can't even sort out your own love life," Rogue snapped. 

"Don't worry it'll be great!" Kurt said as he appeared with Amanda. 

"Oh don't tell me you guys are in on this too?" Rogue groaned. 

"Why not?" Kurt grinned. "Okay Mr. McCoy is in the foyer. Like you told him to!" 

"Did you give him the rose?" Kitty asked. 

"Oh yeah," He nodded.

"Oh man," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"I even got the dining room set up," Kurt told them. "So that they'd have some private time together." 

"Come on let's go watch!" Amara squealed.

"Why not?" Rogue sighed. "Nothing better to do."

"Yeah I've learned just to go with the flow around here," Amanda said. 

They hid in the corners as they watched Hank pace back and forth. He was dressed in a suit and held a rose. "I don't know why I am doing this," Hank sighed. "Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained."

He cleared his throat and practiced. "Now I know you might find this quite odd that I am asking you this, but will you please do me the honor of dining with me tonight. The beauty of your eyes is enough to delight this poor beast's heart." 

"That is so sweet!" 

Hank startled and turned around. There was Samantha behind him. "I knew from Tabitha's letters that you were a romantic but I never believed it."

"Uh…Ms. Smith," Hank gulped. "I…I…"

"Don't bother," Samantha grinned. "I heard the whole thing!" 

"Uh oh…" Kitty's face fell. 

"Oh what a lovely rose!" Samantha took it from him and sniffed. "And you're all dressed up! What a gentleman!" 

"Well I uh…" Hank stammered. 

"When I saw Kurt and the others fixing up the dining room I wondered what was going on," Samantha said. "You are full of surprises." 

"Well yes," Hank said. "But I thought you and Shipwreck…?"

"Oh no," Samantha waved. "He's a nice guy and a good drinking buddy. But there's no real chemistry there. Besides, I've always gone for the more…exotic guys. My ex-husband was the exception to the rule. Go figure." 

"Oh," Hank didn't know what to say. "Well if you don't mind?" He gallantly offered his arm. _Well, she's not running away screaming at the sight of me. I suppose she deserves some points for that. And who knows where this might lead? _

"You are such a cutie!" Samantha played with the fur on his chin. "I really dig the fuzzy dudes!" 

"Oh man…" Kurt moaned. "Now that I've heard that line I will never use it again!" 

"Well at least some good has come out of all this," Rogue remarked as they left.

"How?" Kitty moaned. "How could this have happened? Tabby what could your mom see in Mr. McCoy?" 

"It's probably genetic," Rogue said. "Tabby was into Kurt for a while too. Remember?"

"How could I forget?" Amanda glared at Tabitha. 

"Hey I was still sore at the time," Tabitha said. "That time bomb in your sundae was a long time ago!"

"So much for the Romance queen over there," Rogue pointed at Kitty. "Way to go girl!" 

"This is not what I had in mind," Kitty winced.

"I dunno," Tabitha said. "I think in my case I've traded up." 

**Ah romance is in the air…unfortunately so is several alcoholic beverages. Coming soon, a disastrous date (Or two)! **


	71. An Evening of Odd Romance

**An Evening of Odd Romance**

"What's going on in the dining room?" Remy asked Rogue and Kitty later. "How come it is closed off?" 

"Well Kitty and the others were trying to set Storm up with Beast," Rogue explained. "Unfortunately somehow Tabitha's mom thought that he was trying to ask her on a date so…"

"Oh boy…" Remy flinched. 

"Well now," Kitty said. "Tabitha's mom is nice. She likes how he looks. That's a start. Maybe this is a good thing. Tabitha might end up with a new dad out of this if I play my cards right." 

"Now you're trying to get them together now?" Remy asked. "Girl why don' t you take care of your own love life before messing around with other peoples?"

"That's what I said!" Rogue snapped. She felt an earthquake. "Speaking of which…" 

They all ran downstairs. Both Lance and Peter were facing off. "I said out of my way Chrome Dome!" Lance snarled.

"And I say Kitty is busy Rock Head!" Peter snapped. 

"And I say that I should see for myself Steel Face!" Lance shouted.

"And I say that you are not going to disturb her Pebble Brain!" Peter shouted back.

"And **I **say to the both of you **cut it out!**" Kitty stormed between them. Soon all three of them were fighting. 

"I'm gonna get Logan!" Rogue snapped as she stormed to Logan's room with Remy. She rapped on the door. "Logan! Logan! We got a situation here!" 

Logan opened the door a crack. He was bare chested and in his pajamas. "Uh…What's going on?"

"Look Avalanche and Colossus…" Rogue opened the door and saw Jinx on the bed. "WHAT THE HELL…?"

"Thought you two were fighting?" Remy chuckled. 

"Uh…We made up," Logan gulped.

"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?" Rogue shouted. "Why is it every time I turn around you two are acting like the oversexed teenagers you think **I **am!" 

"She has a point," Jinx said. 

"Okay what's it gonna take for me to make it up to you?" Logan gave in.

"You think you can bribe me with material things…" Rogue began.

"How much?" Logan interrupted.

"$300 ought to do it," Rogue said simply.

"THREE HUNDRED BUCKS?" Logan yelled.

"AND TO TOP IT OFF I CAN NEVER EVEN TOUCH ANYONE LET ALONE…" Rogue yelled back.

"Okay! You win!" Logan surrendered. "I'll get my wallet. But you don't play fair!"

"That's why I win," Rogue told him. 

"She's good isn't she?" Remy grinned.

Meanwhile downstairs the rest of the Misfits had arrived. "What are all of you doing here?" Kurt groaned. "Besides driving us crazy?"

"We came to get Dad and Polly," Althea said. "But Lance got distracted, as usual."

"What about Polly?" Amanda asked as she watched Lance and Peter still go at it.

"Well…" Fred began before another squawking interrupted him. "I think we just found Polly." 

They went out to the balcony to the source where they saw Polly dancing with another parrot. "What is that stupid bird doing here?" Kurt yelled.

"I think he's doing the tango with that other bird," Todd informed him.

"I CAN SEE THAT TOAD!" Kurt snapped. 

"Then why'd you ask me?" Todd snapped back. "Sheesh!" 

Then another bird settled next to them and started squawking. "Oh shut up!" Polly shouted. "She's my girl now! Awk! Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?"

At this the second bird screamed and lunged at Polly. Soon the feathers were flying all over the place as the birds fought each other. "Take this loser! AWK!" Polly screeched.

"Oh lord just what we need," Logan walked in with a shirt on. "A bird version of Avalanche and Colossus." 

"Speaking of which," Rogue said as she looked in another room. She and Remy had followed him. "Yup those two are at it again." This was confirmed by the sounds of something breaking and another tremor. 

They heard a loud yelp and the crack of lightning. "I think we also found Shipwreck as well," Pietro grinned.

"Oh dear," Hank walked out. "I'm afraid I need some assistance here!"

"What's going on?" Tabitha walked in. "Besides the usual? Is that a bird fight outside?"

"Yeah," Todd remarked casually.

"Tabitha I'm afraid your mother is not feeling well," Hank told her. 

"Please tell me it wasn't something she drank," Tabitha groaned. 

"Is everybody happy?" Tabitha's mom danced around, completely plastered. 

"MOTHER!" Tabitha shouted. 

"DAD!" Althea shouted as Shipwreck ran by.

"Can't we even have one night of peace in this house?" Xavier moaned as he wheeled in. "What in heaven's name is going on now?" 

"Well let's take stock of the situation," Logan remarked. "Tabitha's mom is drunk. Avalanche and Colossus are fighting again. Storm is trying to fry Shipwreck. And there's one heck of a bird fight outside." 

"Not to mention the fact that tomorrow some parents are going to visit their son who no longer lives here," Xavier sighed. "And we might very well end up with another lawsuit on our hands!" 

"Then there's only one thing we can do Charles. Do we have any scotch left?" Logan asked with a sigh.

"I just called for our weekly order and doubled it," Xavier replied. "But I have some emergency gin in the study." 


	72. A Brief Heart To Heart Talk or Two

**A Brief Heart To Heart Talk or Two**

"I can't believe how drunk you are!" Tabitha snapped as she dragged her mother down the hall. "Do you have any idea how irresponsible that was? And poor Mr. McCoy! You threw up all over him!"

"I didn't mean too," Samantha hiccuped. 

"You never mean to," Tabitha groaned. "That's the problem!" 

"I needed something, I was upset," Samantha explained. 

"Well I've been a little upset as well but you don't see me getting drunk now do you?" 

"Tabby…" Samantha's eyes teared up. "You know why I'm letting Xavier take guardianship of you right?"

"Yeah Mom I know," Tabitha sighed as she led her mother into the guestroom. "I heard Dad got out of jail again. At least I know he won't be stupid enough to come here!" 

"It's not just to protect you," Samantha sobbed. "I can't keep doing this anymore! I need help!"

"Well that's why I talked to the Professor about sending you to rehab," Tabitha told her. "It's okay mom, Xavier and the others will take good care of me. And I've got my friends here so it's going to be all right. You just worry about getting better, okay?" 

"But it isn't fair!" Samantha screamed. 

"Mom you know this is for the best," Tabitha sighed. "You can't just take care of me now. For instance, **I'm** the one who's supposed to be saying that! Not you! Mom? Are you paying attention to me? Great she's passed out." 

Tabitha placed her mother on the bed and left the room. Althea was out there as well. "Parents are so weird," Althea sighed.

"Tell me about it," Tabitha sighed. "How's Shipwreck?" 

"He'll be alright. Didn't even get singed this time," Althea said. "Hey is it true that your mom's signing over custody of you to Xavier? That's tough." 

"Actually in a way it's a relief," Tabitha sighed. "At least with Xavier I know my father can't hurt me anymore. And my mom's a real mess. She's had an even more screwed up past than I do."

"Yeah well my old man's been on a few benders himself," Althea told her.

"Did your father ever do drugs when he was a kid?" Tabitha asked.

"Hell no," Althea whistled. 

"Yeah well, my mom's a good person. She's just…out of control. As much as I hate to admit it, I need **some** kind of stable home life."

"So you're living here?" Althea raised an eyebrow. 

"Hey I used to live with the boys when they were the Brotherhood," Tabitha countered. "Not exactly rock solid either over there."

"So we're both a couple of mutant weirdoes with divorced insane parents that are drunks and act like kids," Althea quipped. "Living in a house that's more like an insane asylum. Between us, Rogue and Wanda we should form a club." 

"We'll certainly have a lot to talk about at our meetings," Tabitha grinned, knowing she found an ally. 


	73. Let the Friday Fun and Games Begin

**Let The Friday Fun and Games Begin**

Friday morning came quickly. The Misfits had all left the previous night and had left surprisingly little damage in their wake. Apart from a stray feather or so there was no indication of the bird fight. The X-Men were gathered in the foyer to say goodbye to Tabitha and her mother and some others. 

"Look we're going to get my mom settled in rehab," Tabitha sighed. "Sammy's coming with me for moral support." 

"I'm also going to assist Tabitha," Xavier said. "And to sign some papers. Logan is coming with me."

"In other words you're ducking out before my sister gets here," Ororo looked at him. 

"Well…" Xavier looked at his watched. "Oh is that the time? We really must be going." They left in a hurry. 

"All right," Ororo sighed as she looked at the group. "Now I want you all to be on your best behavior. And remember what we discussed?"

"Yeah Evan's in Colorado," Bobby said. "We get it, we get it." 

"You are gonna get it Drake!" Amara stormed in. "You iced up the bathroom again!" She started to chase him around. 

"Amara! Bobby! Stop that!" Ororo shouted. "No snowball fights! What did I just say young man?" 

Lockheed flew by erratically. "Kitty has your dragon been in the carnations again?" Ororo groaned. The doorbell rang. She opened it and found her sister and husband there. 

"Ororo," Vi smiled. "Hi! How are you…" She trailed off and her eyes widened. 

Ororo looked behind her. Bobby was using his snowballs to pelt Amara, who countered with a few fireballs. Scott and Jean were trying to stop them only to get pelted with snowballs. Jean used her telekinesis to dump water from a nearby vase onto Bobby and Amara. Kitty and Peter were chasing around Lockheed. Rogue was arguing with Remy over something. Kurt was flirting with Amara (without his image inducer turned on of course). Jamie and several of his clones were playing ball in the house while Ray was trying to get the ball. And Hank was just standing there.

"Hello!" Hank waved in a friendly way. 

"Oh…my…." Vi's mouth was open.

"Hello Vi," Ororo smiled weakly. "Welcome back to the Xavier Institute." 


	74. Nothing Strange Going on Here

**Nothing Strange Going on Here**

"I still don't understand why Evan hasn't called or written," Vi asked as they walked through the halls. 

"Well…" Ororo thought. "He's been…busy."

"Busy doing what?" Mr. Daniels asked. 

"Working on his powers," Ororo said. _It's not a lie. He's got to be using them living with the Morlocks. _

"Ororo," Vi looked at her. "What do you mean by that? Where exactly is Evan?"

"He's…" Ororo didn't know what to say.

"Hello there!" Shipwreck appeared. "Hi there sweetheart!" 

"YOU?" Ororo gasped. "What are you doing here? I thought the Misfits were training at the base today?" 

"They are," Shipwreck said. "I came over by myself." 

"Sailing! Sailing over the bounty main!" Polly flew by. "Okay let's play my favorite game: Where'd Charley Hide the Booze? AWK!" 

"Okay so I brought the parrot," Shipwreck shrugged. 

"HELP ME!" Jamie and his clones ran by nearly trampling them.

"KISSY KISSY TIME!" Trinity skipped after them. 

"And the Triplets," Shipwreck added. "But other than them, no one else." 

"Oh boy!" Bazooka walked in. "Hey guys did you know how many things Ray can blow up with his electric powers? It's neat!" 

"Okay he followed me on his own," Shipwreck pointed. "I had nothing to do with that!" 

"Bazooka why are you here?" Ororo moaned.

"I was lonely," Bazooka told her. "I wanted to play with the kids today! But the Misfits are doing training so…" 

"Who?" Mr. Daniels asked.

"The group of mutants working with GI Joe," Ororo said. "I told you about them."

"Oh yes," Vi looked Shipwreck over. "Is he your boyfriend?" 

"NO!" Ororo protested. 

"So what is going on with Evan?" Vi asked. 

"Evan? But isn't he…?" Bazooka began. 

"Oh look what Polly's done now!" Ororo shouted suddenly. 

"Oh yeah come on Bazooka!" Shipwreck grabbed him and dragged him off. "Let's go find Polly."

"Ororo is there something going on that you're hiding from me?" Vi looked at her sister.

"What makes you say that?" Ororo asked innocently. Then an alarm went off. "Oh thank god…I mean goddess! It's a…fire drill!"

"Fire drill?" Mr. Daniels asked as she rushed them off. "Ororo what is going on here?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Ororo muttered wondering what exactly caused the alarm to go off. 


	75. Shipwreck to the Rescue

**Shipwreck to the Rescue**

"So they don't know about Evan?" Bazooka asked.

"No! And you're not gonna tell 'em!" Shipwreck snapped as they went outside. There was a commotion by the gates. "What's going on here? What sounded the alarm?"

"It's Tabitha's father!" Amara told him. "He tried to sneak in!"

"Why of all the…" Shipwreck grumbled. He rolled up his sleeves and stormed up to him. A very irate Hank was currently holding Mr. Smith in place.

"Get your paws off me you blue ape!" Mr. Smith snapped. "I have a right to see my daughter and wife!" 

"After how you treated her the last time?" Hank glared at him. "I doubt it. Tabitha is not here. Nor is your **former** spouse!" 

"I have rights!" He shouted. "Tabitha belongs to me!"

"In the first place Tabitha is not a piece of property," Hank growled. "Secondly custody was given to Tabitha's mother and as we are speaking it is being transferred to Mr. Xavier. And his explicit instructions were for you to take a hike!" He pounded the wall next to him, making a dent. "Have I made myself clear?"

"Hey Beast!" Shipwreck said. "Let me have a word with him." 

"Who are you?" Mr. Smith glared.

"I'm a human father like you," Shipwreck said as he walked up and took Mr. Smith away from Hank. "Excuse me please. Can we talk? As one father of a mutant child to another?" He brought him around some bushes so they could be hidden from sight.

"Oh dear," Hank blinked.

"I hope Shipwreck doesn't kill him," Scott remarked. 

"If he does, don't worry," Bazooka grinned. "We know plenty of places to hide the body." 

A loud scream could be heard. "Ooh that does not sound good," Scott winced. 

A few minutes later Shipwreck walked out. He had a knife in one hand. "Shipwreck did you stab him?" Hank gasped.

"Of course not. I just had a nice friendly talk with Mr. Smith," Shipwreck grinned. "Reasonable guy. Well as reasonable as expected under the circumstances." He put away his knife.

"Where is he?" Scott asked.

"He kinda went over the wall," Shipwreck grinned. "Quite a good listener when he puts his mind to it. I merely informed him of how a father should be nice to his children and not use them for his own selfish purposes."

"Ironic coming from you," Remy scoffed. 

"Very funny," Shipwreck told him. 

"So what did you do?" Bobby asked.

"Let's just say it's going to be a long time before Mr. Smith even **thinks **about going after his daughter and trying to get her to steal stuff again," Shipwreck grinned. "He'll also never look at a mulberry bush the same way again. At least not without needing to change his drawers." 

"Shipwreck that was amazing," Hank shook his head.

"Yeah well you gotta admit this way at least he can't run to the cops and complain about mutants harassing him," Shipwreck said. "I'm gonna go check on Ororo now." 

He went back into the mansion. "So where exactly is Evan?" He heard Vi's testy voice. 

"Look the truth is Evan's…" Ororo started.

"He's working with some underprivileged mutants," Shipwreck told them. "Kind of an underground deal. If you know what I mean."

"What are you talking about?" Mr. Daniels asked. 

"Well let's just say that there's a lot of mutants out there who don't exactly have access to the help they need," Shipwreck said. "Evan's trying to work with them and give them a hand. But they don't exactly have phones or e-mail so…" 

"Oh," Vi nodded. "That makes sense. I mean if it's out in the woods or something."

"Or something," Shipwreck said under his breath. "I know they should have told you earlier but Evan really wanted to do this and he was afraid you'd say no, so he…"

"I think I understand," Mr. Daniels said. "Never thought that boy had it in him to do volunteer work."

"What can I say?" Ororo shrugged. "Evan's full of surprises." 

"I know this isn't an excuse but you know with all the lawsuits against them…" Shipwreck began.

"Lawsuits?" Vi looked at him.

"School board at Bayville," Ororo said. "I told you about that."

"Oh right," Vi nodded. 

"Plus we've been working with some children with real problems," Shipwreck continued. "One girl's mother is in rehab now. Another girl that was here was a bit out of control. Stole credit cards. Powers went haywire. Swam naked in the pool."

"WHAT?" Mr. Daniels gasped. Ororo glared at him. 

"Oh she's much better now," Shipwreck grinned at Ororo. "Right honey?"

"Yes…dear," Ororo gritted her teeth and fought the urge to strangle him. 

"Ororo do you have anything to drink?" Vi asked.

"Oh sure," She saw Bobby. "Bobby could you show my sister the kitchen?"

"I need to use the facilities as well," Mr. Daniels nodded.

"Well that was close," Ororo breathed a sigh of relief as they left the room. "I just wish I didn't have to lie to my sister and brother in law like that!" 

"Well technically it's not a lie," Shipwreck said. "It's just not the entire truth."

"Shipwreck…" Ororo sighed. "Thanks. I owe you."

"I love the sound of that," Shipwreck grinned. 

"Oh god maybe I should have just told her!" Ororo rolled her eyes. "At least my death would have been quick and painless!" 


	76. As Some Guests Leave

**As Some Guests Leave**

As Shipwreck and Ororo walked into the kitchen they were struck by an amazing sight. Bazooka was juggling food with Kurt and Jamie. Bazooka was doing it unsuccessfully. "Oops!" Bazooka winced as he lost control of a slice of banana cream pie. "Sorry! I got some club soda that will wash that right out."

"No need," Vi sighed as she wiped it off her shirt. 

"Bathroom…" Mr. Daniels shivered as he walked in. "Ice…Everywhere!" 

"I'd forgotten about that!" Ororo groaned. "BOBBY!" 

"You know I'm not thirsty any more," Vi said quickly. "I think we should go!"

"But you just got here," Jean said.

"Yes and I think we'll be leaving now, don't want to meet traffic!" Mr. Daniels said as they hurried out the door. 

They went faster as Lockheed flew by and Kitty walked through a wall. "Lockheed! I told you to stay out of my make up!" Kitty shouted. 

"Well I'm sorry Evan isn't here to see you but I'll make sure when I see him again he contacts you," Ororo told them. 

"Actually Ororo, don't take this the wrong way," Vi sighed. "But I'm kind of glad Evan's not here right now!" 

"Well that was a close call," Jean sighed as they left. "But still Storm you should have…"

"I know I know," Ororo sighed. The doorbell rang again. "Now who could that be?" 

She answered it. There stood Margali Sefton. "Mrs. Sefton?" Ororo gasped.

"Where's my daughter?" Margali fumed. 


	77. More Guests Arrive

**More Guests Arrive**

"MOM?" Amanda gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"What am **I **doing here?" Margali Sefton snapped. "What are **you** doing here?" 

"Well since you were too busy with your magic and stuff to make any time for me I went here for some peace and quiet!" Amanda snapped. 

"And you know that's saying something if she has to come **here** for peace and quiet," Shipwreck remarked. 

"Shipwreck!" Ororo snapped. "Come on let's go into the kitchen and clean up the mess Bazooka made!" Many of the others left as well.

"Uh yes I think I should go too," Kurt gulped.

"No way!" Amanda held onto his arm. "Anything she has to say to me, she can say in front of you! Not that she ever wanted to talk to me before…" 

"I WAS BEING ATTACKED BY INTERDIMENSIONAL PLANTS THAT WANTED TO SUCK OUT MY LIFE ESSANCE!" Margali screamed back. "I DIDN'T EXACTLY HAVE TIME FOR A LONG CONVERSATION!" 

"YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME BEFORE! ALL MY LIFE TO TELL ME!" Amanda screamed. "I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A HYPOCRITE YOU ARE! FIRST YOU TELL ME KURT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME BECAUSE HE'S A MUTANT BUT YOU DON'T MIND PRACTICING MAGIC BEHIND MY BACK? HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT?"

"Amanda…" Margali began.

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!" Amanda stormed off into the next room, dragging Kurt along.

"DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME YOUNG LADY!" Margali stormed after her. 

"Something tells me we might have an extra guest for dinner," Amara shook her head. She and Jamie were left behind in the foyer. 

"Yeah a lot of people have been showing up this week," Jamie remarked. Then the doorbell rang again. "Who could that be?" 

He answered the door and found himself face to face with an old woman wearing jeans, a red shirt, brown cowboy boots, a blue bandana around her neck and a red cowboy hat. Her long white hair was braided in the style of Native Americans. Even though she looked about ninety, her attitude was clearly that of a teenager. Her clear blue eyes twinkled with mischief. 

"Howdy," The old woman grinned. "Is Freddy around here?"

"Freddy?" Jamie asked. "You mean The Blob?"

"Well of course I do young'n," She drawled in a Texas accent. "Drove a long way just to see him. That I did." 

"He's not here now," Amara said. "Can we help you?"

"Why you sure can," She sauntered in. "Where are my manners? I'm Daisy Mae Dukes. I'm Freddy's grandma!" 


	78. Meet Daisy Mae Dukes

**Meet Daisy Mae Dukes**

"You're the Blob's…grandma?" Jamie blinked. 

"That I am my little man," Daisy Mae sauntered in. "I hate to impose on you but I don't know the address of where he lives and from his letters I heard he hangs around here. And I just happened to be in the neighborhood. So I thought I'd drop in and see how my baby boy is doing!"

"Well he's not here right now…" Amara said.

"Don't worry I can wait," Daisy Mae nodded. "Now where's this kitchen I keep hearing about? I got a powerful hunger and it's nearly time for lunch!" 

"Well uh…" Amara gulped. 

"WILL YOU TRY AND LOOK AT THINGS FROM MY POINT OF VIEW FOR ONE MINUTE?" Margali could be heard shouting in the other room. 

"OR WHAT? YOU'LL TURN ME INTO A TOAD?" Amanda shouted.

"THAT WAS A LOW BLOW!" Margali shouted. 

"My oh my, sounds like there's a lot of fussing and fighting going on in there," Daisy Mae clucked her tongue. "Looks like there's a lot of work for me to do!"

"I think I'd better get Ororo," Jamie gulped. He ran into the kitchen. Ororo and several others were trying to clean up. "Storm! Storm!"

"Jamie please don't run," Ororo sighed. 

"Where'd Shipwreck and Bazooka go?" Jamie asked.

"Home! Where I hope they stay!" Ororo snapped. 

"He made a pass at you didn't he?" Jamie looked at her.

"Was there something you wanted to tell me or not?" Ororo looked at the boy. 

"So this is the kitchen," Daisy Mae walked in. "Whoo! My oh my isn't this a mess!" 

"And you are…?" Ororo looked at her.

"Daisy Mae Dukes at your service," She tipped her hat. "I'm Freddy's granny. I've been looking for him for a while and I hear he shows up here a lot."

"You have no idea," Scott grumbled. 

"You mind if I stay a spell until I can find him?" Daisy Mae asked. "I just haven't seen my baby boy in oh so long and I miss him so! Oh I don't mind you all are mutants. Hell half my relatives worked in a circus at one time or another so it's not big deal." 

"Well I guess it could be okay if she stays here until Fred gets back from his training," Ororo shrugged. "It'll only be a day or so knowing the Misfits."

"Why thank you kindly my dear," Daisy Mae grinned. "Well now let's get this kitchen all cleaned up spic and span so I can prepare a proper lunch for y'all!" 

Daisy Mae quickly began to clean and grab food almost as fast as Pietro. "Well here's another surprise today," Ororo sighed. "Just when I thought things could not get any weirder…" 


	79. Daisy Mae Steps In

**Daisy Mae Steps In**

"Don't you all worry now," Daisy Mae called out as she cooked. "I'll have this lunch ready faster than two shakes of a lamb's tail!" 

"She's certainly made herself at home hasn't she?" Rogue blinked as she watched the activity.

"I see the family resemblance," Remy snickered in her ear. 

"DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME YOUNG LADY!" Margali shouted as she stormed after Amanda.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Amanda yelled. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO LECTURE ME!" 

"Mrs. Sefton, Amanda…" Kurt was trying to make peace between them. 

"YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!" Margali shouted at Kurt.

"DON'T YELL AT HIM!" Amanda shouted. 

"What's going on?" Daisy Mae asked the others.

"You know about Kurt right?" Jamie told her.

"From Freddy's letters yeah," Daisy Mae nodded. "That's Amanda right?"

"Yeah," Jamie nodded as the two women fought. "Turns out Amanda's mom is a real sorceress!"

"No kidding?" Daisy Mae asked. "Well then what was the big deal about her daughter dating a mutant?"

"THAT'S WHAT I KEEP ASKING HER!" Amanda shouted.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER DATING SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THE CREATURES I USED TO FIGHT ALL THE TIME!" Margali shouted. 

"KURT IS NOT A THING! HE'S A PERSON! HE'S KIND AND DECENT…" Amanda started.

"BLUE, FURRY, AND **HAS A TAIL!**" Margali shouted. 

**"SO WHAT? I DON'T CARE!" **

**"WELL I DO!"**

"NOW YOU TWO **SHUT UP!**" Daisy Mae fired a pistol into the air. 

"WHAT THE…?" Scott shouted. "You brought a gun in here?"

"I'm from Texas, nearly everybody has a gun," Daisy Mae snapped. "Besides you shoot those laser beam thingys out of your eyes. You're one to talk. But that ain't important now. This is. Allow me." 

"All right now first off young lady you have no right to be talking to your momma like that," Daisy Mae squared off with Amanda. "Now maybe she shouldn't have kept her secrets from you but they were her secrets to keep. Your momma has a life outside of you ya know so you ought to respect that. Maybe she did have good reasons not to tell you everything, like keeping you safe from harm. Not exposing you to god knows what? Well whatever her reasons she didn't do it to be mean to you. She did it because she loves you! And you know it deep down!" 

"And **you**," Daisy Mae glared at Margali. "Now I know we've just met and all and I have no right to be sticking my nose in your beeswax but you gotta admit that girl has a point. And besides from what I've heard it's obvious that blue boy loves your little girl very much. Hell even now I can see the love in their eyes. If there's one thing I know its real love and I'm seeing it. And just like you have your life you gotta let your little girl have hers even though you think she's making the biggest one of your life. Besides, now about this whole mutant thing…Girl you can't be complaining about skunks in your neighbors barn when you've got weasels in your attic!" 

"Skunks in the barn?" Scott looked at Jean.

"Weasels in the attic?" Jean blinked at Scott. 

"You know what I mean!" Daisy Mae shouted. "Now its obvious that you two are having problems. Well there's only one solution, you both need to get to know each other again in a neutral environment. Ain't I right Ms. Monroe? Or is it Storm? Can I call you that?" 

"Uh yes…" Ororo blinked. 

"Good, since you agree with me the mansion is the best place for you ladies to stay and settle your differences," Daisy Mae said. "And you can get to know everybody better." 

"Wait a minute…" Ororo began. 

"Well they do need to get together right? And you want to stop the fighting right?" Daisy Mae asked her.

"Well yes…" Ororo said. 

"Well it's all settled then!" Daisy Mae grinned. "We're all staying!" 

"We are? I mean you are?" Scott blinked. "Oh boy…" 

"But…but…" Jean stammered. 

"Now come on girls and let me get back to work! This is one meal you ain't gonna believe!" Daisy Mae went back to work cooking like a dervish. 

"I heard a shot? What's going on? Who is this?" Hank ran in.

"Hank…uh…" Ororo pointed. "That's Daisy Mae, Fred's grandmother. She's cooking lunch. And…"

"And somebody's gotta show Amanda's mom her room where she'll be staying," Daisy Mae said.

"Staying?" Hank looked at Margali. 

"Well I'm not leaving my daughter alone in this house!" She stormed off.

"Mo-ther!" Amanda went after her. 

"The Professor is just going to love this," Hank sighed.

"Well I'm not telling them they can't stay," Ororo said. 

"Dinner tonight is going to be very interesting to say the least," Hank said. "Not to mention the next couple of days." 


	80. Dr Strange Comes to Dinner

**Dr. Strange Comes to Dinner**

Later that evening the X-Men and their guests were getting ready for dinner. "I tell you if tonight's repast is anything like that lunch we had…" Beast patted his stomach. "I think we're all going to gain forty pounds overnight!" 

"That Daisy Mae is one good cook," Kurt agreed.

"Cooking for Blob she'd have to be," Ray remarked. The doorbell rang. "Who's that? The Professor and the others?"

"Why would they ring the doorbell stupid?" Amara groaned as she went to answer it. She opened the door revealing Dr. Strange and Benny Barumpbump. 

"Dr. Strange and Benny?" Amara looked at them. "What are you two doing here?"

"Well…" Dr. Strange began.

"We were in the neighborhood and we kind of felt bad about the whole mother daughter situation," Benny told them. He sniffed the air. "Is that fried chicken I smell?" 

"YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA! COME AND GET IT!" Daisy Mae shouted as she walked in. "Well who's this? Is this the good Professor?"

"Uh no," Dr. Strange coughed. "I am Dr. Strange, Sorcerer Supreme."

"And I'm his apprentice and future comedic superstar Benny Barumpbump!" Benny waved. "Boy that smells good!" 

"Stephen? Benny?" Margali and Amanda walked in. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh uh…" Dr. Strange looked around. "We were in the neighborhood and we thought we'd…check up on you." 

"Well come on in and stay a while," Daisy Mae grinned. "We're all friends here!" 

"We are?" Scott asked. 

"Sure we are! Pull up a chair and stay a spell," Daisy Mae grinned. "You might as well spend the night too!"

"Now wait a minute…" Scott moaned but his protests were falling on deaf ears as they went into the dining room. 

"We've certainly met a lot of strange people this week," Kurt muttered. "And they're all eating our food." 

************************************************************************

Later that evening the others returned. "Well that was one of the longest days of my life," Tabitha sighed. "Hey something smells really good!" 

"Well there's plenty of leftovers," Ororo and Hank walked out to meet them.

"Oh Ororo how was your sister's visit? Or do I want to know?" Xavier asked. 

"It was…interesting," Ororo said. "She still doesn't know but I'm afraid…"

"YAHOOO! WATCH THIS!" Daisy Mae shouted. The sound of something breaking could be heard. 

"Who is that?" Xavier asked Ororo.

"Daisy Mae," Ororo sighed. "Fred's grandmother."

"What is she doing here?" Tabitha asked.

"Looking for Fred," Hank sighed. 

"Mother will you please calm down!" Amanda could be heard next. "Things break all the time around here! It's no big deal!"

"Uh…Margali Sefton is here as well," Ororo said. "She came for her daughter but kind of ended up staying here a little longer." 

"Define a 'little longer'," Logan asked. 

"Well…" Hank gulped.

"BARUMPUMP WILL YOU STOP LEVETATING THE FURNITURE!" Dr. Strange shouted. 

"Benny and Dr. Strange are here too?" Xavier asked. 

"Yeah Daisy Mae invited them all to dinner," Hank nodded. "And to stay the night."

"Say what?" Logan snapped. "What is this? The Mutant Holiday Inn?" 

"All right that's **it**!" Xavier started to make his way to the living room. "It's bad enough the Misfits take advantage of our hospitality but I am not going to continue to allow all the comings and goings of their crazy friends and relatives to disrupt this mansion!" 

"Yeah we have enough trouble with our crazy friends and relatives," Logan quipped.

They went into the living room. Daisy Mae was demonstrating her knife throwing skills. "Bulls eye!" She cheered as it hit an apple perched on one of Jamie's heads.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Ororo shouted.

"It's okay it's only one of my clones," The real Jamie remarked. 

"NO KNIFE THROWING IN THIS HOUSE!" Ororo snapped.

"Since when?" Logan asked her. 

"You must be Professor Xavier," Daisy Mae shook his hand. "Daisy Mae Dukes. How ya doin'?" 

"Fine I…" Professor Xavier began.

"You know Professor I'm so grateful for your hospitality," Daisy Mae grinned. "Aren't we?"

"Yes we are," Benny grinned. "I knew the Professor was a great guy! And don't worry, no evil dimensional tears are going to happen this time. We hope."

Dr. Strange casually kicked Benny in the leg. "Yes Professor we appreciate your assistance. Especially with you helping Margali and Amanda."

"But…" Xavier started to say. 

"Yes we're really quite grateful to you!" Daisy Mae grinned.

"They're staying aren't they?" Scott asked Ororo as Daisy Mae continued to talk. 

"I think we'd have an easier time getting rid of the Juggernaut," Hank groaned. 


	81. So It's Going to be Longer Than a Week, ...

**Well I've gotten this far, so I might as well drag this fic out to a hundred chapters! **

**So Its Going To Be Longer Than A Week, Sue Me**

"Let me see if I get this straight," Logan looked at Hank later that evening. "Now Amanda's mother is here trying to patch things up with her daughter. Fred's grandmother is here waiting to see her grandson. And now Dr. Strange and Benny are here… Why?" 

"I haven't a clue," Hank moaned. "They just showed up and the next thing I knew Daisy Mae invited them for dinner and to stay the night."

"I'd never thought I'd say this but I'm starting to miss the Misfits," Logan muttered. He heard the doorbell. "Oh wonderful, who **else** is here to visit us tonight?"

At the door was Matt Burke, British Secret Agent and Kurt's biological father. "Hello there old chap, is Kurt around?" 

"Ask a stupid question," Logan muttered. 

"Mr. Burke…" Xavier entered with Kurt and Amanda. "You're here too I see."

"Matt what are you doing here?" Kurt asked.

"Well I was in the neighborhood and I thought we should spend some time together," Burke said. "I mean it was only a week ago I sort of had a part in ruining your special evening." 

"Only a week?" Amanda sighed. "It seems longer for some reason." 

"Well if you'd like I could stay for a while," Burke said. 

"YEEEEHAAA! NOW FOR MY FIRE LASSO TRICK!" Daisy Mae called out from another room.

"Unless this is a bad time," Burke added. 

"Professor can my father…?" Kurt asked weakly.

"Why not?" Xavier gave in. "Everybody else stays here!" 

"Elf go show your old man where he's going to stay while Amanda and I see what's on fire this time," Logan sighed as he went to investigate. 

"Sometimes I think I should turn this mansion into a hotel," Xavier muttered. "It would save me a lot of money in the long run." 


	82. Professor Penguin

**What happens when you let loose three people with magical powers in the mansion and one of them is very bad at it? Some fun Xavier torture that's what! **

**Professor Penguin**

The next morning breakfast came and went with very little excitement. Well almost no excitement. "One of these days I must train Barumpbump not to practice his magic at the dinner table!" Dr. Strange washed out his cloak in the bathroom. "His stupid levitation demonstration got syrup all over it!"

"You would think magical garments would be more durable," Margali snickered. "Tumble dry low and all that."

"Well fortunately for me I know a very good cleaning spell," Strange used his powers to dry it. "With my apprentice it's been a necessity."

"Speaking of necessities…" Margali looked at him.

"I was wondering when you'd get around to asking," Strange sighed. "I'm afraid I detected a new danger on the horizon. And it's not Benny's inept magic."

Meanwhile in another part of the mansion…

"NO WAY!" Sam gasped. Some of the mutants were sitting with Benny in the living room. 

"I thought I told you never to mention that little incident again!" Logan roared. 

"It just sort of slipped out," Benny defended himself.

"Mr. Logan as a unicorn…" Amara snickered. "I just can't see it!"

"You're thinking cutesy type 'My Little Pony' unicorn," Scott informed her. "He was a Megadeth type unicorn. With a metal horn and hooves."

"Okay now I see it," Amara laughed. 

"Oh you are all going to be in such pain when we do our training in the Danger Room!" Logan snapped. 

"Oh come on Logan," Jean grinned. "You can't tell me you didn't enjoy being something so powerful and magical!" 

"Weren't you horny enough?" Ray snickered. 

"Okay! You're all dead!" Logan snapped. 

"Logan I believe you are over reacting," Xavier said. "It was an accident after all and the spell was not permanent. Look back on it as a learning experience."

"If by learning you mean total and complete humiliation yes I guess you could see it that way!" Logan snapped.

"Oh come on," Benny said as he casually raised his wand. "I've gotten a lot more control over this thing since then!" Then the wand shorted out and gave out a burst of magic. "HIT THE DIRT!" 

Everyone ducked for cover as the magic bounced off one mirror and hit another. It landed on Xavier. He screamed. Benny gulped. "Oh dear…" 

Kurt teleported to the washroom where Dr. Strange was with Margali. "Dr. Strange come quick! There's been…an accident!" 

"What?" Margali gasped as Kurt grabbed both of them and they ended up in the living room. "Oh my!" 

Sitting in the Professor's chair was a penguin. "You didn't," Dr. Strange moaned.

"He did," Logan was snickering.

"BENNY!" Dr. Strange glared at him.

"It was an accident!" Benny protested. 

"You turned the Professor into a penguin…" Dr. Strange moaned. 

Logan chuckled. "You were saying Charles?" 

Xavier the penguin glared at them. _* I am not happy! * _

"But Charles think of this as a learning experience," Logan grinned. 

_* THIS IS NOT FUNNY LOGAN! NOT FUNNY AT ALL! * _Xavier squawked as he sent his message. 

"Change him back Benny," Logan guffawed. "Before we need to make a trip to the South Pole."

"Uh…" Benny gulped. "I can't." 

"WHAT!" Scott shouted. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?" 

"I don't know how…" Benny answered weakly.

"WELL YOU'D BETTER LEARN HOW MISTER!" Scott stalked him and put a hand to his visor. 

"Ulp!" Benny gulped. He did the only sensible thing he could do when faced with an angry optic-blasting mutant. He ran. 

"COME BACK HERE!" Scott shouted.

"GET HIM!" Ray shouted.

"HEY DON'T HURT HIM!" Logan shouted as he chased several of his students who were chasing Benny. "AT LEAST UNTIL HE TURNS THE PROFESSOR BACK!" 

"If anyone deserves to mangle my apprentice it's me!" Dr. Strange sighed as he flew after them.

This left Margali alone with Kurt, Amanda and Xavier. "Does this happen often?" Margali asked.

"People turning into penguins or the chasing?" Kurt asked. 

"Never mind!" Margali sighed. "I suppose I should help Stephen. He looks like he could use it!" She went after them with Kurt and Margali. 

__

* Excuse me? Hello? * Xavier flapped his wings in his wheelchair. _* WHAT ABOUT ME? *_

"I wonder who Daisy Mae has been on the phone with all day?" Kitty asked as she walked in with Rogue. 

"I dunno," Rogue remarked. "But she said…What the heck is that penguin doing here?" She gazed at where the Professor was. 

"Oh how cute!" Kitty squealed.

Xavier glared at her. _* Kitty…I am **not** cute! * _

"Professor?" Kitty gasped. "Is that you?" 

"No Kitty its some other penguin riding in a wheelchair that has telepathic abilities!" Rogue snapped. "Professor what happened? Don't tell me it was Benny!" 

_* Bingo. And I thought when I lost the use of my legs I had suffered my worst humiliation. I was wrong. * _

"What's wrong?" Kitty asked.

"Besides the fact that the Professor is a penguin now?" Rogue looked at her.

"You know what I mean!" Kitty fumed. 

_* I can't move my chair! My flippers can't reach the controls! * _ Xavier flapped his short stubby wings uselessly. _* I'm stuck here! Everyone ran out to chase Benny! * _

"I guess your legs don't work in penguin form huh?" Kitty asked. 

_* No, just like my human legs didn't! Will you please get me out of this room and help me find Benny so I can get back to normal. Or if not assist me in pecking what there are of his brains out! * _

"Okay I'll help you Professor," Kitty grabbed the handles.

It soon became clear that asking Kitty to pilot the wheelchair was not the smartest move he could have made. _* Kitty…slow down! Slow down! SLOW DOWN! * _ He mentally screamed as she tore through the mansion.

"But if we slow down we'll miss everything!" Kitty shouted as they phased through several walls. 

_* Life…flashing…before my eyes…* _Xavier started to twitch. 

"Darn we lost them!" Kitty phased out into the backyard garden. She looked down. "Professor? Are you okay? You look a little pale."

Xavier panted. _* Kitty…Just let me rest here in the garden for a while please? You go find the others on your own and bring them to me. Can you do that? *_

"Sure, but do you want something? Like a blanket or some fish maybe? I can make you something?"

_* NO! I mean…Just go and find the others and bring them here. Please? *_

"Okay," Kitty shrugged and left, leaving Xavier alone to recover. 

Xavier sighed and sat there. _Well at least it's peaceful out here, _He thought. Then he heard a noise.

"I can't believe we managed to get this far without any muties spotting us," Someone said.

"I told you," Duncan appeared with a few of his football buddies. "These freaks have gotten too lazy!" 

_Oh no! What are they doing here and how did they get past security? Oh wait, this morning Benny accidentally zapped our security system while practicing his magic and we didn't have a chance to restart it! _Xavier frowned as he saw they had spray paint in their hands as well as a few Molitov cocktails. 

Xavier was now very angry. In the first place he had had a very stressful week. Secondly he had several uninvited guests in his home. Thirdly he was now a penguin and had barely survived Kitty. To say that he was annoyed already would be an understatement. _But now these hoodlums are invading my home intending to do some damage? That is the last straw! _

"Hey guys!" Duncan pointed. "Look at the cute little penguin! Probably starting a zoo. Fit right in with all the other animals!" 

*** _GET OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE PUNKS!!!!! *_** Xavier then projected several very frightening images into their minds. Images that could only be described with an NC-32 rating. **_ * AND IF YOU EVEN THINK OF COMING BACK HERE I WILL KNOW AND TEAR YOU ALL LIMB FROM LIMB! GOT IT? * _**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The jocks screamed in terror.

"KILLER PENGUIN! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! RUN! RUN!" The boys screamed. They ran out of the front gate, down the street and into the arms of some policemen on patrol. "PENGUIN! PENGUIN" 

"What is going on here?" One cop asked. He looked at the boys. They were all carrying homemade bombs, hyped up and all of them were in serious need of a change in underwear. "What are you punks doing with those Molitov cocktails?" 

"PENGUIN! EVIL MUTANT PENGUIN!" Duncan screamed. "YOU GOTTA HELP SAVE US FROM THE EVIL MUTANT PENGUIN!" 

"What the hell are you on kid?" The cop asked. "Come on! Let's go to the station!" 

"NO IT'S THE PENGUIN! THERE'S AN EVIL MUTANT PENGUIN ON THE LOOSE! WE'RE NOT CRAZY OFFICER! IT'S THOSE FREAKS FAULT!" Duncan and his buddies screamed as the cops dragged them away. 

"Better call the wagon, Harry," The cop said. "Not to mention the shrink."

"They came from the direction of the mutant place," Harry said. "You think they did something?"

"Who knows? We'll check it out," After sending Duncan and his buddies off to jail they went to the Xavier mansion. Ororo answered the door. "Excuse me but we've had reports of some kind of mutant penguin running amok around here. Is that true?"

"No I can honestly say that there is no penguin here," Ororo stated. 

"I told you it was the drugs Harry," The cop said. "Sorry to bother you." They left.

Ororo went inside. "Well at least I didn't have to lie."

Sitting in the wheelchair was a chimpanzee in a suit and tie. **_* BENNY! * _** Xavier screamed psychically. 

**Next: Let's have some fun in the Danger Room. But a session becomes really dangerous when Benny accidentally adds one of his own programs in! **


	83. Another Disaster in the Danger Room

**I got this idea after reading one of my old Damage Control comics. Oh this should be fun. Ha Ha! **

**Another Disaster in the Danger Room**

That afternoon Benny was with Forge in the Danger Room's control booth. "I really appreciate you helping me out with this," He told Forge.

"Well if the Danger Room can be used to help harness mutant abilities I don't see why it can't be used to help harness magic abilities," Forge shrugged. "But what's with the comedy tapes and CD's?" 

"It's to also help me with my act," Benny explained. "Sharpen up my magic shtick! Ooh! What does this button do?" 

Nearby unknown to them Burke was following Margali. "Listen Burke my husband and I are separated not divorced! I am not going go on a date with you!" She snapped. 

"I was not asking you on a date. I merely was giving you my number in case you needed something," Burke told him. " A word of comfort, a shoulder to cry on…"

"A name of a good divorce attorney," Daisy Mae said as she appeared behind them.

"AHHH!" Burke startled. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh just minding my own business which you should be doing," Daisy Mae remarked. 

"Can't you do it somewhere else?" Burke growled.

"But I like it here? Hey what's in this room?" Daisy Mae opened the door and looked inside. 

"Go find out will you?" Burke shoved her inside. He closed the door. "Now where were we?" 

"I was giving you the brush off!" Margali opened the door and shoved him inside and closed the door. She walked away. 

Ten minutes later she saw Scott and the other X-Men run down the corridor wearing their uniforms. "What's going on?" She asked Kurt. 

"Somehow Burke and Daisy Mae got locked in the Danger Room and it's running amok!" Kurt told her. 

"The Danger Room? Isn't that your training area?" Margali asked. "Uh oh…" 

"Uh Oh is right!" Logan groaned. "Barumpbump strikes again!" 

"Actually Forge had a hand in this as well," Scott glared. "Again!" 

"Can't you just shut it off?" Margali asked as she followed them into the control room. 

"Uh no…" Benny said. There were wires everywhere. "We seem to be in a slight state of disrepair."

"Oops," Forge gulped as he saw what was going on in the Danger Room.

"That's the second time you said that this week," Scott snapped. "And again it means trouble!" 


	84. You Bet Your Life

**You Bet Your Life**

"What's going on down there?" Jean asked as she heard an explosion. 

"I can't tell! Something's covered up all the windows!" Scott told her. "It looks like…Banana Cream Pie?"

"I'm going in!" Logan ran to the door and managed to open the door. 

"Don't shut the…" Burke shouted. The door closed. "Door…" 

"What in the world?" Logan started as he saw Daisy Mae take out a few robotic clowns. "Where did she get those grenades?"

"I always keep a few handy," She explained as she danced around dodging the clowns' laser fire. "YEAHOOOO!"

"Spry little thing isn't she?" Burke grumbled. He was tangled up in something and dangling off the floor.

"What the hell is this? Clowns? And is this silly string?" Logan looked at Burke. 

"Apparently yes," Burke told him. "You think you could get me down from here sometime this week?" 

"Oh come now," A short man with black hair and a big black mustache and black glasses appeared. "Can't you hang around some more?"

"Groucho Marx?" Logan blinked.

"That's right and this is You Bet Your Life," Groucho said. "The game of skill and knowledge where foolhardy contestants risk their lives for no apparent reason. Introduce our next contestant George."

A relatively average man in a blue business suit appeared. "Well Groucho our next contestant is Wolverine. He says he's the best at what he does." 

"What's that? Make coleslaw?" Groucho quipped as Logan cut Burke loose. 

"Benny put in his comedy tapes into the computer," Burke explained. 

"I figured that out," Logan growled. "Now where's the flamin' door?" 

"We're locked in!" Daisy Mae told him as she blasted some more clowns with a rifle.

"Where did you get that weapon?" Logan asked. 

"Stashed it in my purse," Daisy Mae shouted. "DUCK!" 

"No it's a pie actually," Groucho launched a pie at Burke. Logan shoved him out of the way only to get hit on the face with it. 

"Thank you," Burke brushed himself off.

"Glad to be of help," Logan growled. 

"Now I must remind our viewers in order for the duck to come down and give you a special prize you must say the secret word," Groucho continued. "It's a common word, one you probably use every day." 

"You mean like 'disaster'?" Logan growled. 

Dr. Strange appeared. "How did you get in here?" Burke gasped.

"I can teleport a little," Strange explained. "I'll get you out of here. What by the fires of Hades is going on here?"

"Your little friend was playing around in the Danger Room," Logan explained as he dodged another cream pie.

"More like Romper Room," Strange remarked. "Well at least pies aren't dangerous."

That was when he was hit in the face with a very heavy pie. "They are if you put a brick in 'em!" Groucho smiled as Strange passed out. 

"Oh great he's out cold!" Logan groaned.

"BOYS! SEND IN THE CLOWNS!" Groucho called out. Suddenly the Keystone Cops appeared. "Well I was going for lawyers but close enough!" 

That was when Kurt teleported in with Ororo and Peter. Scott managed to open the door and ran in with Rogue. "Oh goody more guests!" Groucho clapped joyfully.

"Don't close the…" Logan, Burke and Daisy Mae shouted. Of course the door closed. "Door…"

"Is that pie on your face?" Kurt asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Logan growled. "DUCK!" The Keystone Cops then began to shoot lasers out of their eyes. 

"No," Groucho remarked as they chased the X-Men around the room. "No duck yet." 

Logan got hit in the face with another pie. "I swear Elf if you laugh…" He growled.

"I'm not laughing! Really?" Kurt chuckled. 

"Can't we just shut this thing down?" Rogue asked as she bashed through a few cops. 

"I'm afraid that is not possible, Rogue," Xavier told her telepathically. He glared at Benny.

"I said I was sorry! I didn't mean to pull out that wire! Honest!" Benny protested. 

"To be fair it was on fire," Forge said. "My bad." 

"We gotta get this room shut down now!" Scott said.

"Oh do you have to?" Groucho looked at Ororo. "Hello there! Will you marry me? How much money do you have? Answer the second question first."

"Cyclops use the cut off switch at the end of the chamber!" Ororo shoved away Groucho. 

"No problem," Scott raised his visor sending his optic beams across the room. It hit the cut off switch. "Simple. Okay now let's get these people out of…"

Groucho appeared behind him. "That's cheating! Using the cut off switch! How dare you sir? I'd horsewhip you, if I had a horse!"

"This…is gonna be harder than I thought…" Scott groaned as he saw the Three Stooges appear with more clowns, preparing to attack. 


	85. Say the Secret Word

**Say The Secret Word**

"Kitty go down there and see if you can repair the cut-off switch!" Xavier groaned as he watched the X-Men face off against an army of clowns, Keystone Cops, Abbot and Costello and the Three Stooges. 

"HEY ABBOT!" Costello ran around with a baseball bat. "WHO'S ON FIRST!" 

"I HATE THAT ROUTINE!" Scott shouted as he blasted Costello's bat. 

"I'm a bad boy…" Costello blinked right before Scott blasted him to smithereens. 

"And I thought the Mojoverse was crazy," Kitty muttered as she phased her way inside. "Hey guys! I need to stay solid to work on this thing! I need some cover!" 

"You got it Half Pint!" Logan said. "Move it out!" 

"Nightcrawler why don't you try teleporting some of these people out of here?" Rogue shouted. She saw him on the floor. "Nightcrawler!"

"I can't believe I fell for the old banana peel on the floor routine…" Kurt muttered before he passed out.

"Well this certainly inspires confidence," Burke grumbled as he ran for his life. 

"YEOW! THAT HURT!" Ororo groaned as a spring with a boxing glove sprang in front of her and knocked her down.

Groucho appeared with a bomb. "You said the secret word! Hurt! Congratulations! I hope you appreciate this little token of my appreciation!" He handed her the bomb.

Peter took it. "Oh no you don't!" He snapped off the fuse. "HA! That takes care of that!" Then the bomb exploded in his face. His metal body was covered in soot. 

"You'd have think he'd seen that one coming," Ororo sighed.

"I did," Groucho grinned as he put his head on her shoulder. 

Ororo screamed and zapped him to ashes. "YOU ARE EVEN MORE ANNOYING THAN SHIPWRECK!" She screamed. Then she looked at the pile. "Oh wait, no you're not. I can turn you off."

"Say I don't look at all well," Groucho appeared again. He took Ororo's hand. "Don't turn us off. Can't you see what I'm trying to say? I love you! Your eyes, your throat, your hair…everything reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that?"

"SOMEBODY SHUT THIS PROGRAM DOWN NOW!" Ororo screamed. 

"LOOK OUT FOR THE PIES!" Rogue snapped.

"I got 'em!" Scott used his optic blasts to zap all of them.

Well almost all of them. Burke got hit with one. "Oops," Scott gulped. "Sorry." 

"Stooges to the left!" Daisy Mae shouted as she threw another grenade. "They're mine!" 

"WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!" They shouted as they were blown up.

"Where is she getting all these weapons?" Logan shouted. 

"Got it!" Kitty turned off the switch and the Danger Room deactivated.

"We did it!" Burke grinned as he brushed off the pie.

"**We **did it," Scott corrected him. "I know the Danger Room is supposed to prepare us for he unexpected, but that was a little too unexpected for my tastes!"

"I thought it was a hoot!" Daisy Mae grinned. "Most fun I've had in a long time!" 

"It's official," Rogue muttered to herself. "Insanity runs in Blob's family." 


	86. Another Evil Entity Lands on the Doorste...

**Another Evil Entity Lands on the Doorstep**

"Well this has been a fun day," Logan grunted as he left the Danger Room. "Let's see, this morning the Professor got turned into a penguin and a chimp. We had a few punks from the high school try to trash the mansion. The Danger Room is wrecked and all our uniforms are covered in cream pies. And it's only…" He looked at his watch. "One in the afternoon." 

"What hit me?" Dr. Strange groaned.

"A brick filled pie," Burke told him. "Of course if someone hadn't shoved us in there in the first place…" He glared at Margali.

"Mom!" Amanda glared at her.

"Well he was annoying me," She glared at Burke.

"Looks like nothing's broken," Hank checked over Dr. Strange. 

"Yes the hologram only had enough density to knock me unconscious but not to do any permanent damage," Strange groaned. 

"Sorry doc," Benny gulped.

"I already am," Strange glared at him. "Wait, did you say one in the afternoon?"

"That's right," Logan confirmed.

"Oh no! We don't have much time before the rift appears!" Strange said.

"What rift?" Xavier asked.

"I detected a possible rift in the fabric of time and space that will occur around 1:05 PM today," Strange told him. "I fear that a malevolent being from the dimension of Limbo is behind this." 

"Another evil force from another dimension?" Amanda asked. "ALREADY?" \

"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Scott shouted.

"I believe you were all otherwise occupied," Strange said.

"Where is this dimensional rift going to be?" Hank asked.

"Hey guys!" Jamie ran to them. "There's this weird black hole appearing in the back yard!" 

"I believe that answers your question," Dr. Strange replied. "Come on!" 

"Of course it would land right here in Bayville," Margali muttered as they ran. "And of course it would end up right here at the Xavier Institute! Where else would it come?" 

"This does seem to be quite the place for gatherings doesn't it?" Burke commented. 

"I'm afraid the only thing we can do is to stop the rip from the other side of the dimension…"Strange began. He flew into the vortex. 

"Wait for me!" Benny ran after him. 

The vortex began to pull on the X-Men as well. "It's sucking us into it!" Xavier shouted as his wheelchair flew in. 

"No kidding!" Kurt groaned as he and Amanda fell behind him into it. 

"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER!" Margali shouted.

"We're being sucked into a dimension of evil and she's worried about those two?" Ray groaned. "Lady you have got to get your priorities straight."

"Well like it or not, it looks like we're going on a trip," Hank said. 

"Oh wonderful," Burke muttered as they were sucked into the vortex. "And I was worried we wouldn't have anything to do today." 

Unexpectedly the vortex closed behind them. Left behind were Forge, Jamie, Tabitha, Amara and Daisy Mae. "Oh man! Why is it we always get left behind whenever those guys go off into another dimension?" Jamie grumbled. "It's not fair!" 

"Oh don't worry about it short stack," Daisy Mae waved. "I'm sure they'll all be fine. Now come on, I need your help in getting ready for the party."

"Party?" Amara raised her eyebrows. "What party?" 


	87. Some Battles and Some Surprising Revelat...

**Okay this chapter is heavily influenced by what's in the comic version of X-Men. This is my own twisted spin on it. **

**Some Battles and Surprising Revelations**

"Man I've played some real dives before but nothing like this," Benny whistled as he looked around. The sky was gray, there were shattered purple shards sticking up out of the hard ground.

"Barumpbump please get off my back," Hank moaned as he lay underneath him.

"Oops! Sorry! No wonder the ground felt so soft," Benny got off of him.

"Not as soft as your head," Logan grunted. "Are we all here?"

"Most of us," Scott looked around. "I don't see Forge, Multiple, Magma or Boom Boom."

"Daisy Mae is not here as well," Ororo noted. "They were left behind."

"But my daughter is here in harm's way?" Margali groaned. "Wonderful!"

"Hey you can't blame Kurt and the others for this!" Amanda snapped. "Magic is **your** department! Remember?" 

"Um if we can all focus on the big picture here?" Kitty interrupted. "Okay what do we do and how do we get out of here?"

"Simple," Dr. Strange said. "We go to Belasco's temple, stop the invasion, heal the rift in the dimension and I will use my powers to transport us home." 

"That simple huh?" Logan grunted, folding his arms.

"Well in addition to your powers we do have two sorcerers on our side," Dr. Strange told him. 

"Don't forget me Doc!" Benny said cheerfully.

"I couldn't if I tried," Dr. Strange groaned. "But despite that we may have a good shot."

"I'm guessing this Belasco guy is the ruler of this dimension?" Sam asked.

"You guess correctly young Cannonball," Dr. Strange remarked.

"Is that him?" Sam gulped as he pointed upwards. Towering over them was a giant 40 foot purple demon with six arms, two horns and a tail with spikes.

"Uh no," Dr. Strange remarked. "That's one of his lesser minions I believe." 

The demon shot out some flames from its mouth. Jean used her telekinesis as a shield. "You call this a **lesser** demon?" She shouted. "His flames are too strong! I can't hold it back much longer!" 

The force from the blast and the collapsing of the mental shield scattered everyone. Between dodging the fire blasts, the arms and the tail the X-Men were not having an easy time. Dr. Strange and Margali were using their powers trying to protect Amanda, Benny, Burke and those that were knocked down. 

"It's like fighting a freaking mutant Sentinel!" Logan snarled. "My claws barely made a dent!" 

Peter managed to dodge one blast only to lose something from his uniform. A small piece of paper floated to the ground. "NO!" Peter in armor form jumped toward it just as the giant demon was about to swing down a huge club right where he was.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Rogue flew up and used her super strength to sock the demon on the jaw. The demon whimpered and fell to the ground unconscious with a thud. "Well I guess what they say is true. The bigger they are…"

"The harder they fall," Dr. Strange groaned. "We know, we know. Let's leave the bad jokes for Benny shall we?" 

"Wow," Benny mused. "Who would have thought that such a big guy would have such a glass jaw."

"Well that's why he's a lesser demon," Dr. Strange explained. "But what I don't understand Colossus is what made you jump right into harm's way like that. I mean what is that that's so important to you that you nearly got killed over?" 

"This is a picture of my little sister," Peter told him. 

"You carry that wherever you go?" Benny asked. "Well couldn't you have simply called up and asked her for another one if it was lost or something?"

"His sister is missing you moron!" Rogue snapped at him. 

"Oh sorry…" Benny gulped. "You know me, open mouth insert foot. What happened to her?"

"She was kidnapped by the Russian Mob I believe…" Peter sighed.

"WHAT?" Benny asked.

"It is a long story," Peter sighed. "But somehow they found out about my abilities and kidnapped my sister. Magneto told me about this. He said that if I would work for him he would help me find my sister. It took me a while to realize that he had no intention of helping." 

"Sorry," Benny apologized. He heard something. "Oh great! Reinforcements!" 

Several demons appeared. "Here we go again!" Rogue groaned and soon the X-Men were fighting them. 

Kurt was knocked down by one demon. "KURT NO!" Amanda shouted as she saw the demon prepare to impale her boyfriend with a sharp spear. Before she realized what had happened a powerful feeling enveloped her. Light shot out of her hands and she used the blast to not only knock out the demon but several demons around it. 

"Amanda…" Kurt blinked. "You're…a mutant?" 

"That was not a mutant related blast," Dr. Strange told them. "It was a magical one."

"What?" Margali asked. 

"It seems your daughter has inherited your innate magical abilities," Dr. Strange nodded. "As I suspected she will grow to become a powerful sorceress." 

"What?" Amanda gasped. "I'm a sorceress?" 

"Oh god no…" Margali groaned.

"Well it's not like you did not know that this would be a possibility!" Dr. Strange told her. "You should have prepared her." 

"It is you who should be prepared!" A loud voice called out from the army of demons that regrouped. 

"Is that you Belasco?" Dr. Strange shouted. "Come out and face me!" 

"So if Belasco is not in charge of Limbo anymore…who is?" Dr. Strange mused. 

"Our mistress rules here," A huge purple demon appeared. "I am S'ym! Enforcer of Limbo!" 

"Mistress?" Dr. Strange. "Since when does Limbo have a female leader?"

"You don't know?" Logan looked at him. 

"Hey even I miss something once in a while," Dr. Strange shrugged. 

S'ym grunted. "Soon our mistress will rule that pathetic mud ball of a planet!"

"Not on my watch pal!" Benny powered up. "Now you're going to see some real sorcery!"

"Benny?" Dr. Strange gulped. "What are you doing? Benny! Benny!" 

Too late. Benny shot out a magic blast. Unfortunately it went in the wrong direction and hit most of the adults head on. "BENNY YOU IDIOT!" Dr. Strange screamed as the blast shot him, Xavier, Logan, Burke, Margali and Hank far off into the distance.

"Oops," Benny gulped. "Sorry! Storm you and the other X-Men…" He looked around and saw that the blast had knocked everyone else unconscious. 

"Uh oh…" Benny gulped as the spears were pointed around them. "This is not good." 

************************************************************************

"Wonderful," Hank brushed himself off in another location. "We got blasted off thanks to Air Benny!" He looked around and saw they were in a huge fog. "And such a lovely destination it is." 

"It's worse than that I fear," Xavier held his fingers to his head. "The X-Men are unconscious and they've been captured." 

"Great we're split up and they've got the kids," Logan grunted. "Barumpbump screwed up again!" 

"Oh I don't know," They heard Burke's voice. "It seems that it did do some good after all." Out of the smoke appeared a huge red demon wearing dark navy blue armor. He had horns, a tail as well as a moustache and a goatee. 

"What did that idiot do to you, Burke?" Logan snapped. "Great! Now we gotta find a way to change him back as well!" 

"Actually my friends," The figure that was once Matt Burke grinned. "This **is** my real form." 

Dr. Strange's eyes narrowed. "Azazel…" 

**Didn't see that coming did ya? **


	88. Kurt's Dad is a WHAT?

**Yup, it's true. I brought Azazel into the Misfit Universe. Here's my spin on his tale. Or in his case maybe it's tail? **

**Kurt's Dad is a WHAT?**

"Azazel," Dr. Strange growled. "I should have known you'd have found a way to survive."

"I told you that you couldn't get rid of me **that **easily," Azazel harrumphed. 

"Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on here?" Logan shouted.

"Well to put it simply," Dr. Strange said. "Matt Burke never really existed. He was the human form of the demon lord Azazel."

"Demon…lord?" Xavier looked at him.

"I remember reading about you," Margali looked at Azazel. "But the legends say you were destroyed over fifty years ago!" 

"Obviously they were wrong," Azazel flicked his tail. "The reports of my death were greatly exaggerated." 

"You mean he's a demon?" Logan looked back and forth at Strange and Azazel. "An actual demon?"

"Yes I am," Azazel was annoyed. "Why are you so shocked? Like you I happen to be of another species other than human. Most of my kind just decided to move to another dimension eons ago, that's all."

"Mutants are human bub!" Logan snapped.

"Details, details," Azazel waved. "Like you my kind tend to be vilified for no reason."

"No reason other than the fact that you've tried to take over the Earth several times!" Dr. Strange said.

"Well who hasn't?" Azazel asked. "It's practically a requirement for a warlord to at least try to take over the planet or something along those lines. And of course this leads to several battles with the so called saviors of the planet and their ilk." 

"But how…?" Hank asked. 

"It's a long story," Azazel groaned. "And tedious and I don't come off very good in it."

"My master the Ancient One battled him for centuries," Dr. Strange explained. "Until one final day when he shot a magical blast at Azrael that was supposed to scatter his essence to the corners of the universe!" 

"And it would have worked too," Azazel said. "Fortunately for me there was a tiny rift in the fabric of time and space that led me to this dimension. I had enough of my power to cast one final spell."

"In other words to save your life you turned yourself into a human," Margali looked at him. 

"It was a desperate measure," Azazel looked at them. "That goes without saying. But it worked. I managed to transform myself completely into a human male. And I've lived as a human ever since that day." 

"Are you saying the Elf is really…half demon?" Logan looked at Azazel. 

"Not exactly," Azazel flicked his tail. "When I and Mystique…met, my body was fully human. However some of my demon traits were locked away in my DNA. Apparently somehow Magneto managed to unlock those traits in Kurt while he was an infant in the womb, probably mistaking those extra traits for mutant abilities. Technically Kurt's a mutant with only a quarter demon heritage or something like that." 

"This is a problem," Xavier frowned. "Now we have another entity trying to destroy the Earth." 

"Oh please," Azazel glared at him. "I've spent nearly all my mortal existence saving that wretched mud ball. Do you really think I'd try to ruin all my work by destroying it now?" 

"You expect us to believe that you liked being human and you don't harbor any resentment towards us?" Dr. Strange looked at him. 

"Actually I've quite enjoyed myself this past quarter century," Azazel grinned. "I haven't had this much fun in a millennia. Playing secret agent, saving the planet, all the fighting and adventure. Quite a challenge actually. Especially without my powers but a hell of a lot more enjoyable."

"Not to mention sleeping with everything in a skirt," Margali huffed.

"That too," Azazel grinned. 

"You don't expect us to believe that the devil himself has decided not to conquer the Earth after only a quarter century imprisoned as a human do you?" Dr. Strange folded his arms.

"In the first place I look like **A** devil, I am not **THE** devil," Azazel was miffed. "I do wish people would stop getting us confused!" 

"Look as fascinating as all this is we have a problem," Margali said. "The rest of our party including my daughter is missing. Can we please put all this aside until we rescue them?"

"Considering one of them is my son I have no problem with that," The Demon Lord nodded. "And now that I'm a demon lord again we should have no problems. Other than one that is."

"And that is?" Hank asked.

"Just who our opponent is," Azazel's brows furrowed. "Whoever this female is, she was powerful enough to conquer Belasco, who wasn't exactly a lightweight among demons to begin with. Even I at the height of my powers would think twice about tangling with him! We're in for a fight, make no mistake about that."

************************************************************************

Kurt was enveloped in darkness. Then some strange smell entered his nostrils. "Blech!" He woke up and found himself being unchained by Hank. "Vas?" 

"Wakey, wakey!" Hank told him. The adults were freeing the captured X-Men. 

"What happened?" Scott moaned.

"Oh you were captured by the demons after Benny's spell ran amok," Hank told him. "We got separated. Got lost. Found the castle where they were keeping you prisoner. Beat up a whole bunch of demon guards after sneaking into the castle and woke you up. The usual rescue scene." 

"Where's my father?" Kurt asked.

"He's…around," Azazel appeared, cutting off anyone else from replying. 

"Oh great another demon!" Kurt groaned. "Just what we need!" 

"Actually…" Logan hesitated. "This one's on our side."

"Azazel at your service," He grinned. 

"Amanda?" Margali looked around. "Where's Amanda?"

"I don't see Barumpbump here either," Dr. Strange frowned. "Oh well at least it's not a total loss." 

"If I know my demon lords, and since I am one I do," Azazel stroked his chin. "Those two are probably in the main chamber with the Mistress of Limbo. Since they are magic users they would be more dangerous than mere mutants."

"Mere mutants?" Kurt gasped. He looked at Azazel. "Demon Lords?" 

"Yeah like we haven't seen weirder," Rogue grumbled. "So let's find this otherworld bimbo, get the others and trash this dump!"

"That will not be necessary otherworlder," A cold female voice spoke. "The 'Bimbo' has found you!" 

Suddenly a horde of demons appeared. S'ym laughed. "Did you really think we'd make it that easy for you to escape! You fools walked into our leader's trap! What is your will my lady?" 

"Leave them to me." 

A fourteen-year-old girl with long blond hair and blue eyes walked into the room. She carried a huge sword and was clad in red and silver armor. She stared at them. "I am Magik! Mistress of Limbo and future ruler of Earth. Prepare to meet your fate mortals!" 


	89. The Deciding Factor

**The Deciding Factor**

"A kid?" Logan spat. "A kid is in charge of Limbo?" 

"I am no ordinary child!" The girl snarled in a Russian accent. "I am Magik! Mistress of Limbo! Future ruler of the Earth!" 

"Ruler my tail!" Azazel snapped. "You're not even a demon! You're human!"

A collective gasp rang out from the demons. "What did you call me?" Magik's eyes narrowed. 

"Uh oh…" S'ym gulped.

"You heard me…HUMAN!" Azazel snarled.

"Uh little warning here…" S'ym said nervously. "Don't call her that!" 

"Why not! That's what she is!" Azazel snarled.

"No she's not!" S'ym said very quickly. He looked at his army. "Right guys?"

"Oh yeah! He's just playing with you boss! You're 100% demon all the way!" The soldiers said very quickly. 

"Yes she is," Azazel glared at her. "I can tell."

"Look buddy do us all a favor and stop saying that," S'ym hissed. "You're gonna make her mad!" 

"Oh am I gonna upset the cute little human girl?" Azazel said in a mock syrupy voice. "Is she gonna cry? Is she…"

That was when Magik let out a huge magical blast that knocked Azazel into the wall. "Going to beat the proverbial stuffing out of you?" She growled. "Yes!" 

"Oh great," S'ym gulped as she saw her attack Azazel. "We're all dead!"

"Not if she tires out after killing all of them," Another demon reasoned. "Then she won't take it out on us!" 

"Good point," S'ym nodded. 

"The girl is quite formidable human or not," Dr. Strange was trying to stop her by using a magic barrier but she broke it. "Oh dear!" 

"DIE!" Magik raised her sword. It was knocked out of her hands by a magic blast. "WHO DARES?"

"We do actually!" Benny grinned as he and Amanda appeared. "Sorry we're late guys but we were kind of tied up." 

"YOU?" Magik snarled. "How did you escape your chains? Not even the most powerful sorcerer can escape those!"

"Powerful yes," Amanda grinned. "But we're only beginners." 

"Plus the fact that I took a few escape artist classes at the beginning of my career," Benny grinned. "I was good at it too. But I stopped because for some reason the audience was always disappointed when I escaped. So I dropped it from my act and went into comedy." 

"Who cares?" Azazel snarled. "Just help us trash this girl!" 

However Magik's powers were formidable. She managed to use them to knock out Jean, Rogue and Dr. Strange with a magical force wave. "We gotta take her down!" Scott shouted as he readied his visor.

Peter was standing there in shock as he watched the scene. Then he saw what Scott was going to do. "Cyclops! NO!" He shoved Scott so that his beam missed her. 

"Colossus what the hell is the matter with you?" Scott yelled. "Why'd you stop me?" 

"I can't let you hurt her!" Peter shouted. 

"Why the hell not? She's trying to hurt us?" Logan snarled. 

"Illyana!" Peter shouted. "Illyana stop!" 

Magik turned to him. "How do you know my name?" She gasped. 

"It' s me! Your brother!" Peter reverted to human form. "Remember?" 

"Pi-otor?" Magik blinked.

"What'd she say?" Tabitha asked.

"That's the Russian version of Peter's name," Kitty explained. 

"My brother!" Magik gasped. "Is it really you?"

"Little Snowflake!" Peter shouted.

"Brother!" Magik released him and embraced him.

" Little Snowflake?" S'ym looked incredulously. "You gotta be kidding me!" 

"But no…" Her face twisted. "You are dead. They killed you! That is why they must pay. Why…? NO! I AM A DEMON! NOT A HUMAN!" 

"You are human Illyana," Xavier told her. "More specifically a mutant. I can see it in your memories. Let me help you." He reached out to her with his telepathy. Illyana screamed and fell to her knees. "Illyana don't fight them. These are your memories. Your life. This is who you really are!" 

"Illyana!" Peter grabbed her as she fell. "My sister! It's me!" 

"Piotor…" Illyana sobbed. "I missed you so much!" 

"What did you do to the boss?" S'ym asked.

"I merely released her suppressed memories," Xavier told him. "The ones which Belasco tried to erase, but failed." 

"Okay is anyone else totally lost or is it just me?" Benny raised his hand. "What the heck is going on here?" 

"I believe I can explain," Xavier said. "From what I gathered in her memories it all began when Magneto tried to kidnap her years ago."

"What?" Peter gasped.

"Why am I not surprised that old bucket head is involved in this?" Remy folded his arms. "He's always been interested in keeping Colossus under his thumb." 

"I get it. Magneto intended to kidnap your sister in order to get you to work for him," Kitty told Peter. "But how did she end up here?" 

"I brought myself here…" Illyana told her. She looked confused. "But somehow…I know it was not by magic."

"Her mutant powers must be teleportation into other dimensions across time and space," Xavier mused. "When Magneto tried to kidnap her, her powers must have manifested and she found herself in Limbo." 

"Yes…" Magik looked at him. "That is how it happened. I remember now. Belasco found me and he made me his apprentice. But then he did something to my head. He changed my thoughts. Made me try to hate humans. To think I was a demon so it would be easier to control me and have a powerful ally to take over the Earth."

"Let me see if I get this straight," Benny said. "Belasco made you his apprentice and you beat him for control of all Limbo?" 

"Well he did empower me with magical abilities as well," Magik told him. "He tried to control me…but I do not like being controlled."

"So you rebelled and took over the dimension huh?" Logan folded his arms. "I'm impressed. And I thought your brother was the fighter in the family." 

"I cannot believe what I have done, what I almost did," Magik shook her head. "Brother, can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course little sister," Peter hugged her. "It was not your fault. There is nothing to forgive." 

"You mean we ain't gonna invade the Earth?" S'ym groaned. "Aw man!" 

"You have a problem with that?" Magik growled at him.

"Nope!" S'ym said quickly. "Actually we could use the vacation! Right guys?" He flinched as Magik glared at him again. "Or it could be back to business as usual." 

"Great now that the invasion's cancelled all we have to do is repair the rift in the dimensional fabric and we can go home," Benny clapped his hands. 

"It will be easier if I repair it after you all have returned home," Magik told them. "I have done it several times before."

"But aren't you coming home with me?" Peter's face fell. "Illyana we've been apart for so long and now that I have finally found you…" 

"Someday brother," Magik shook her head. "But for now, my place is here in Limbo. I am needed here. Someone has to keep them in line." She pointed to the demons. 

"Well if you ever wish to come to the Institute you know where to find us," Xavier nodded. 

Magik nodded and opened up a portal. "This should take you back to your home. You will find that only an hour will have passed while you were here, since time functions differently in Limbo. Farewell my brother, until we meet again." 

The X-Men and the others soon left the portal and found themselves in the living room. "Didn't we come this way before?" Bobby asked. 

"Well that was fun," Benny said.

"Yes, loads," Matt Burke appeared. He looked at himself. "Oh damn…" 

"Children could all of you please leave us adults alone for a moment?" Dr. Strange frowned. "We grown ups need to have a talk!" 


	90. Azazel's Promise

**Azazel's Promise**

"Oh damn I'm human again," Burke muttered. "I guess I'm only in demon form outside of this dimension!" 

"Let me guess, you were planning on setting a few scores when you returned here in demon form?" Logan folded his arms. Xavier, Dr. Strange, Margali and Hank glared at him as well. 

"Well to put it bluntly, yes," Burke huffed. Logan pointed his claws at him. "Now wait a minute. Can't we discuss this like reasonable adults? We're all human beings here, more or less."

"He's right," Dr. Strange said. "As long as he's in this dimension he's powerless. It would be wrong to kill him no matter how tempted we are." 

"I think it's for the best then that we not inform Kurt of Mr. Burke's background," Xavier said. 

"I agree," Burke said. "The boy has enough self-esteem issues without this. Perhaps it is for the best if he doesn't know his complete heritage for now." 

"Like you really care about your son?" Margali huffed. 

"Despite what you think my dear, it might interest you to know demons are not half as vicious to their offspring as you humans are. Unless of course they try to overthrow them in a power struggle," Burke shrugged. "But that's a different kettle of fish." 

"You mean you actually care about your son?" Dr. Strange folded his arms. "You didn't care about Ralik!" 

"Ralik had this annoying habit of slaughtering his own sisters and brothers in battle," Burke glared at him. "Plus he tried to overthrow me. Again the exception that proves the rule." 

"Wait a minute…Sisters and brothers?" Logan looked at him. "How many does the elf have?"

"Let's just say the boy is not an only child and leave it at that shall we?" Burke said. "However he is my only offspring in this dimension…"

"That you're aware of," Xavier finished. 

"Still," Burke shrugged. "Family is family." 

"I can't believe this! It was hard enough understanding Amanda's infatuation with that boy when he was only a mutant but this…" Margali shivered. 

"I'm not exactly thrilled at the prospect of having you in my family either," Burke glared at her. "Nevertheless it's their decision! So butt out!" 

"Kurt ain't like him lady," Logan growled. "Nothing like him! Trust me on this." 

"**Me**?" Burke huffed. "It's that mother of his I would worry about. She's done worse things than I ever did. And that's **me** talking!" 

"Margali you really have no basis for any prejudice concerning Kurt's background," Dr. Strange put a hand on her shoulder. 

"Stephen you know what people will say and think," Margali said. "What if they find out she has magic powers? They'll believe her to be a mutant!"

"Well considering how sorcerers and witches have been treated for hundreds of years I can understand your fear," Xavier said. "All too well."

"That is something we have in common isn't it?" Margali sighed. 

"It is ironic isn't it?" Hank remarked. "You really should get to know Kurt better. There's a lot about him you don't know." 

"For instance did you also know that Kurt is Catholic?" Burke raised an eyebrow. "Lord knows **that's** another odd kettle of worms that boy has to deal with!" 

"A Catholic part demon mutant that is dating a sorceress," Logan shook his head. "Now I've heard it all."

"Speaking of hearing," Hank cocked his ears. "What's that commotion outside?" 

They left the room and went out on the lawn. "I do not believe this!" Logan groaned. "We're gone only an hour and all hell breaks loose!" 

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Xavier shouted. 

**What is going on? Stay tuned to find out. **


	91. The Dukes' Family Reunion

**The Dukes Family Reunion**

"Well today was a fun day," Althea remarked as the Misfits teleported to the mansion. 

"Maybe we should have stayed and helped them get rid of those turkeys and flamingoes?" Todd asked.

"Nah! They said they didn't need our help," Pietro waved.

"Yeah we've done enough," Lance nodded. "Hey what's going on outside? Looks like some kind of huge party."

"Well how else am I gonna celebrate finally seeing my baby boy for the first time in years?" Daisy Mae sauntered in. 

"Granny?" Fred blinked. "GRANNY!" He ran over and gave her a bear hug. He twirled her around. "GRANNY! GRANNY! GRANNY!" 

"I missed you too baby!" Daisy Mae laughed. 

"Hey everybody this is my Granny!" Fred called out.

"Really?" Pietro quipped. "I thought she was your sister." Wanda smacked him on the arm. "What?"

"Can your mouth behave for one minute?" Wanda snapped. 

"Isn't it beautiful?" Todd sniffed. "I love family reunions!"

"Well then you're in luck," Daisy Mae grinned. She led them out to the back yard where dozens of people were. "Say hi to everybody!"

"HI FREDDY!" They all called out.

"WOW!" Fred cried out in surprise. "MY WHOLE FAMILY IS HERE!"

"Yeah and we've been feeding 'em all," Tabitha groaned as she brought over an empty tray. "I thought you ate a lot Freddy but compared to that guy in the dress you're a light eater."

"Aunt Ralph?" Fred called out. "Is that you? Come here!" He ran off to meet his relatives. 

"So that's Aunt Ralph," Lance mused. "You know that picture Blob showed us didn't do him half justice."

"Yeah and that mustache is really attractive," Wanda remarked. "Considering." 

"Wow look at all the people with tattoos on their faces," Daria said.

"Hey I want one just like that!" Quinn jumped up and down.

"If I have to wait until I'm seventeen for one so do you," Althea said. 

"Cool a freak show!" Pietro said. "And we're not the freaks!" 

"For once," Todd added. 

That was when the X-Men, Dr. Strange, Benny, Burke, Amanda and Margali showed up. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Xavier shouted.

"It's a party," Fred looked at him. "Duh! And people call me slow!" 

"Welcome to the Dukes' family reunion," Daisy Mae grinned. "Now people everybody give a big welcome to Mr. Xavier. He's funding this little shindig!" 

"I am?" Xavier blinked. "Now wait just a minute here…" 

"Hey Lulu Belle! This here's my cousin Lulu Belle," Daisy Mae introduced Xavier to a short stout woman. "I think the two of you will get along like peas in a pod!"

"Charmed I'm sure but…." Xavier didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before she giggled and grabbed the handlebars of his wheelchair. "LET GO OF ME!" Xavier shouted as she wheeled him away. "HELP!"

"She's very affectionate," Daisy Mae explained. "She just went through her divorce."

"Her sixth or her seventh?" Fred asked.

"Ninth actually," Daisy Mae told him. 

"Anybody want to join me for a little drink?" Burke asked.

"Good idea," Hank nodded. "I'll show you where my secret stash of gin is."

"I'll join you," Margali groaned. 

"So will I," Dr. Strange remarked. "Coming Benny?"

"No I think I'll hang around here for a while," Benny said. "Hey is that a chick?" He ran over to one group. 

"Logan! Storm! Beast!" Scott called out as they started to leave with the other adults. "You guys gotta do something about all this!"

"You tell 'em they can't stay here!" Logan remarked. "I think I'd rather go back and fight the demons than the entire Dukes clan! Some of these people are bigger than Blob!"

"Well I was always considered the lightweight of the family. Hey! Belle's here too!" Fred called out. "She's an old friend of the family! You remember her, right Jean?" 

"Oh god this is a nightmare," Jean groaned.

"How do you know her?" Margali asked.

"Trust me Mrs. Sefton, you don't want to know," Scott sighed. 

"Fred you have to do something!" Jean stomped her foot. 

"Oh put a sock in it Jean!" Fred snapped.

"Yeah Freddy hasn't seen some of these people in years," Lance told her. "Don't ruin his big day!"

"This is not his big day! This isn't even his house!" Jean snapped.

"Boy you are a party pooper aren't you?" One of five huge girls the size of Fred remarked as the surrounded Jean. 

"Hey I heard about you!" Another huge girl said. "You're that tramp that led on our cousin and broke his little heart!" 

"You know what we do to girls like you back home?" Another made a fist. 

"GET HER!" They screamed as they chased Jean. 

Meanwhile Lance noticed that Peter was in an argument with a large male and Kitty was standing by. "What's going on?"

"This…person was trying to pick up Kitty!" Peter told him. 

"Hey pal!" Lance snapped. "Kitty's ours!" 

"Yeah we were here first!" Peter told him. Soon the three of them were fighting.

"Just what we need," Kurt sighed. "Another figure in the love triangle."

"Is that a cannon over there?" Althea asked.

BOOM!

"Yes I believe it is," Brittany remarked. 

"You know Blob you have such a lovely family," Pietro snickered. 

"Makes me feel a lot better about mine," Rogue said. "And I don't have to tell you what an accomplishment **that **is!"


	92. Family Reunions Can Be A Felony

**Family Reunions Can Be A Felony**

"This is one wild party," Amanda sighed. "Look at all those bikers on the lawn." 

"Oh I do not believe this!" Margali growled. She stormed over to one of the bikers. "YOU! PUT DOWN THAT BEER AND GET OFF THAT MOTORCYCLE!" 

A bleary Mr. Sefton harrumphed. "Oh hello to you too! Meet my new friends! And my new sweetie here!"

"Dad that's a guy," Amanda groaned. 

"Labels!" The biker in a dress waved.

"Where have you been?" Margali shouted.

"Let me guess, the magical ball and chain?" Another biker said. "Lady he's been crying about you every night since we found the guy! Take him! Please!" 

"Gladly!" Margali said. "Amanda, help me drag your father into the bathroom!" 

Meanwhile in the kitchen the Misfits and some of the X-Men were helping Daisy Mae cook some food. "I can't believe I nearly escaped with my life and my honor intact…"Xavier groaned. He was wiping away some lipstick from his face. 

"So these are all your friends?" Daisy Mae had met the Misfits. "Well I've heard a lot about you!"

"And we've heard a lot about you. Wait a minute," Pietro scratched his head. "Aren't you the one the Feds took to prison? I thought you were never supposed to be paroled."

"Well," Daisy Mae shrugged. "I kind of paroled myself."

"What…?" Xavier blinked. 

"YOU ESCAPED FROM PRISON?" Scott shouted. "ARE YOU TELLING ME WE'VE BEEN HARBORING A FUGITIVE FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS?"

"Oh yeah like she's the first one around here," Fred waved. 

"Well that would explain why there's a squadron of cop cars coming up the road," Jamie ran in. 

"Hey guys! There's a bunch of SHEILD helicopters landing on the lawn!" Brittany and the other triplets ran in.

"Oh dear…" Daisy Mae gulped. "I think I must be going now." 


	93. It's Not a Party Unless SHEILD Shows Up

**It's Not A Party Unless SHEILD Shows Up**

"Oh this is so not good!" Lance gulped as he looked out the window. "Both SHEILD and the cops have surrounded the place!" 

"You can't let them take Freddy's sweet old granny!" Todd cried out. 

"That sweet old granny is wanted in seven states!" Scott shouted.

"Oh pshaw! I'm only wanted in four," Daisy Mae waved. 

"What do we do?" Fred looked like he was gonna cry. "I don't wanna let them take away my granny again! Please Al think of something!" 

"I thought you guys were on the side of the law now?" Bobby asked.

"Hey this is family!" Fred snapped. "Let's see how you'd react if the tables were turned!" 

"Well we can take Daisy Mae to Tahiti via the teleporter and leave her there," Althea said. "But from there she's gotta be on her own!" 

"Oh thank you darlin'!" Daisy Mae grinned. 

"Heck anything for Freddy," Althea shrugged. "Come on we gotta get outta here."

"Take my hand Granny," Fred told her. "This won't hurt a bit!" 

"Goodbye everyone," Daisy Mae said. "Sorry about the mess!" She teleported with all the Misfits. 

"As usual the Misfits have left us in a huge disaster to deal with!" Scott groaned as the sounds of gunfire rang out from the front of the mansion. 

"Now what's going on?" Logan shouted.

"There's a shoot out on the lawn!" Jean shouted. 

"Daisy Mae wasn't the only fugitive here. It turns out half the guests here have warrants out for their arrests in five states!" Ororo groaned as she walked in. He looked out the window. "Please tell me that is not a news van outside!" 

"Uh would it help if I said it was an ice cream truck?" Bobby gulped. 

Twenty minutes and fifteen arrests later Xavier watched the assorted paddy wagons take away some of the guests. "Somebody tell me this day was all a bad dream…" He moaned. "If only I could erase my own memories…" 

"Well Charles Xavier we meet again," Nick Fury looked at him. "And it's only been over a week since you were in the middle of our **last** operation! Mind telling me what the hell you were doing throwing a party for a group of felons?" 

"Charles I got the lawyers on speed dial," Ororo said holding a phone. She made a perplexed face. 

"What's wrong?" Xavier asked.

"They're singing," She said in a confused tone. "They keep singing 'We're in the Money' and I swear I hear tap dancing. And there's someone in the back threatening to quit his job and move to Peru to tend alpacas for a living." 

"Oh yes," Xavier closed his eyes. "My life would be so much simpler if I could erase my own memories." 


	94. Why Are These People Still Here?

**Why Are These People Still Here?**

"Well Daisy Mae and the rest of the Hole in the Head clan have taken off to parts unknown," Rogue groaned. "Which leaves us with the clean up!" 

"What a day," Jean groaned.

"And it's not over yet," Scott motioned at the commotion in the living room. "SHEILD is still here." 

"Benny's got another karaoke contest going," Logan groaned. 

"Hey guys!" Shipwreck appeared with the other Misfit adults as well as Jinx. "What's new?"

"Shipwreck to answer that question it would take a week," Hank sighed. "Or more…" 

"Let's just say it's been a very eventful day," Xavier sighed. Another rousing commotion from the living room went up. "And it's going to be an even longer night."

"Oh forget this!" Rogue threw up her hands. "I'm not going to clean this up only to have it get trashed tonight!"

"Yeah let's clean this up in the morning after the party," Remy said.

"There is not going to be any party!" Scott snapped.

"I think Benny and SHIELD might disagree with you on that one," Logan remarked. 

"This is not how I intended this school to be run," Xavier moaned. "Logan do me a favor please, get me a drink!"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Shipwreck grinned as he grabbed a bottle. "Now let's party!" 

**And now the final arc of this story with no end, the party! Well another party actually…**


	95. It's Karaoke Time!

**Well this has been a strange fic hasn't it? We've had guest stars, guest villains, explosions, surprising revelations, dimensional travel, more explosions, fights, romance, a little angst and even more explosions. **

**Did I mention explosions? **

**We've had people revert to teenagers, teenagers acting like little kids and animals acting like people. (Not to mention someone turned into an animal!) We've had drunken parrots, cooking fights, hyper babies, magic, morons, bizarre family reunions, pranks and a wrecked museum. So what's left? How about a wild party complete with karaoke? Of course thanks to the new revisions for FF Net this is how it's going to go. Go to Calistolexx's website to see the originals! **

**It's Karaoke Time! Rexux**

"I do not believe this…" Nick Fury groaned. He saw all of his men that had remained at the Xavier Institute drinking and singing. "Why is it whenever we come in contact with you people discipline goes out the window?"

"Aw let 'em have a good time Nicky!" Shipwreck laughed. "Here have a drink!"

Currently a few SHEILD agents were singing a tune by the Fireballs with the Blind Master. _"Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine, when you gonna let me get sober? Leave me alone, let me go home! Let me go home and start over!" _

Burke sang more lyrics and soon the entire adult crowd was singing. "Will you stop singing?" Xavier shouted.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Apparently it's not allowed!" Xavier sighed. "Stop singing!"

"Well this is a fine picture for the family Christmas card," Kurt moaned.

"There is no way I am going up there," Fury shook his head. "I'd rather play cards with Logan."

"How about this?" Logan smirked. "Loser has to go up and sing next?"

"You're on!" Fury replied. "Deal me in!"

"This is so not happening," Kitty moaned.

"It is…" Scott sighed.

"Might as well take bets on who's gonna lose first," Todd shrugged.


	96. Nick Fury Sings!

**Nick Fury Sings! (Or Doesn't)**

Nick Fury grumbled. "I am doing this under protest!"

"Oh just shut up and sing," Logan chuckled. "You lost fair and square!"

"All right I'll do it!" Fury grunted. "Just hit it." The music he chose played. He started to sing.

"No! Don't sing!" Xavier shouted. But Nick Fury sang anyway. "Not Sweet Caroline!"

"Wow, I never pictured Nick Fury to be a Neil Diamond fan," Scott mused as he watched Fury sing.

"I think he's getting a little too into it," Rogue pointed as he was starting to ham it up on stage.

_"SWEET CAROLINE!" _He sang.

"BOMP! BOMP! BOMP!" The crowd chanted.

"Stop singing!" Xavier shouted.

"You got the video running right?" Pietro asked.

"Oh yeah," Jamie nodded.

**The party keeps going with more music! **


	97. More Musical Mayhem

**More Musical Mayhem Redux.**

"I'll sing next!" Shipwreck called out. "Here's a little ditty that sums up my feelings of my greatest love."

"Oh god this isn't about Mom is it?" Althea cringed.

"No, I'm talking about the other love of my life," Shipwreck snapped. "The one that will never leave me!" He took a breath and started to sing.

"NO! NO SINGING! STOP IT! STOP IT!" Xavier shouted.

"What if it was a parody of a song?" Scott asked.

"I suppose **that's **okay but no real songs!" Xavier shouted.

"Me next!" Mr. Sefton sang out.

"No you are not!" Xavier shouted as they kept singing. "Stop singing! Stop singing!"

"Is anybody nervous that all the adults know the words to this song or is it just me?" Scott moaned.

"My turn!" Logan called out.

"NO! NO SINGING!" Xavier shouted. 

"AAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!" The adult pouted.

"_I like beer," _Logan sang.

"NO SINGING!" Xavier shouted.

_YES WE LOVE BEER! _

"Yeah I think we've established the tone for the evening," Lance snickered as the adults got plastered.

"Hey with them drunk we can get away with more stuff," Todd shrugged.

"You would think like that!" Kurt groaned.

_"Red, Red Wine!" _Hank sang.

_"NOOOOOOO!" _Xavier shouted.

"I'm starting to sense a pattern here," Scott sighed.

"I'd better get the buckets," Jean sighed.


	98. This Party is Getting Out of Hand

**This Party is Getting Out of Hand Redux**

Roadblock sang loudly _"In heaven there is no beer! That's why we drink it here! And when we're gone from here, well our friends will be drinking all the beer! EVERYBODY SING!" _

"NO SINGING! NO SINGING!" Xavier shouted. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SINGING!"

"They are all so wasted aren't they?" Scott sighed.

"Yes they are," Lance nodded. "Only one thing to do…"

"I got the camera," Xi remarked.

"You realize that this is all your fault?" Jean snapped.

"Yeah like they care Jean," Kurt sighed. "You should know by now the only thing you can do is enjoy the ride."

"And use the evidence for blackmail," Todd added.

"_In heaven there is no beer! That's why we drink it here…" _The crowd sang.

_"We drink it here!" _Shipwreck hiccuped as he danced on a table.

"Stop singing! Stop singing!" Xavier shouted.

_"From here!" _ Shipwreck spun around raising a bottle.

_"Our friends will be drinking all the…" _The crowd sang drunkenly despite Xavier's pleas.

"NO SINGING!"

"Oh what the hey," Scott sighed. "Let's party!"

"Yeah!" Althea grinned. "It's our turn to sing!"

"NO SINGING!" Xavier shouted.


	99. Have Some Fun With the Funk

**Let's Have Some Fun With The Funk**

Soon the kids were singing along too to an Aaron Carter song. A song whose complete lyrics cannot be heard on FF Net. That is why this chapter on this site is extremely short.

"Hank! Stop swinging from the ceiling!" Xavier shouted.

"WHEEEE!" Hank called out laughing.

"Toad! Stop painting the walls with graffiti!" Xavier snapped. "Shipwreck stop helping him!"

"Let's have some…" Kitty began.

"No singing! No singing!" Xavier shouted. "There's no singing here! Stop expressing yourself!"

"What about bad words and sex?" a SHIELD officer asked.

"Well, I suppose that's okay…" Xavier sighed.


	100. Isn't This Where We Came In?

**I want to thank all my readers who enjoyed this fic! Did you have fun? I know I did! Don't worry, any possible story lines will be taken up in future fics. But right now I think it's time I ended this…**

**Isn't This Where We Came In?**

"What a night," Jean groaned as she looked at the mess the following morning. "How could we let that party get out of control?" 

"Jean I think it was already out of control when the cops showed up," Scott sighed. "When they stay behind to party…There's just nothing we **could have done**!" 

"Oh my head…" Ororo staggered down the stairs on her way into the kitchen. "My poor, poor head…" 

"I can kiss it and make it better," Shipwreck popped up.

"DIE!" Ororo screamed and started to create a bolt of lightning. 

"Well she recovers fast," Margali walked down the stairs with Amanda and a very hung over Mr. Sefton. "Kurt I want to thank you for letting Amanda stay here. Well I want to but considering the circumstances…"

"YEOW! THAT HURT!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"So what's going to happen now?" Kurt asked Amanda. 

"I'm going to be teaching Amanda how to focus on her powers with Dr. Strange and Benny," Margali said. "Not to mention save what's left of my marriage."

"Daisy…daisy…" Mr. Sefton slurred.

"Yeah it's kinda gonna be intense," Amanda said. "Um… Kurt it might be a while before we see each other again."

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS STUFF IN MY FUR?" Hank shouted.

"I can understand that," Kurt sighed. 

"Is it me or was this place like this when I first came here?" Amanda asked. 

"CHARLES I TOLD YOU THAT WASN'T TEQUILA!" Logan shouted. 

"Yeah this does look familiar," Kurt sighed. 

"WHAT DID THAT PARROT DO TO THE BATHROOM?" Kitty shouted. "LOCKHEED DON'T EAT THAT!" 

"Things must have been bad if you had to come here to think things through," Margali muttered. "Kurt please tell me this isn't typical of your friends."

"WHERE'S THE SILVERWEAR? DID THE MISFITS STEAL IT AGAIN? I'LL KILL 'EM! I'LL KILL 'EM!" Scott shouted. 

"Define 'friends'," Kurt said to her. 


End file.
